When You Leave, Tell Me in Advance
After Ling Li brought over the hangover soup and watched Su Jingyang drink it, he didn’t stay long. He was probably thinking about Ah Xuan, who was practicing martial arts with Song Hui, and hurriedly got up and left.
Su Jingyang quickly went to wash up, rinsing off the smell of alcohol clinging to his body, and only then dared return to the room to hold the children.
Xiao Fan waved his little fists, lightly bumping Su Jingyang’s face. Su Jingyang caught the tiny hand and kissed it, his thoughtful gaze drifting toward the doorway.
He recalled the earnest words Ling Li had said to him at the end. “You… actually said some not-so-good things to Rong Ci. Jingyang, I know very well how deep your obsession is with going home. I know you’ll leave sooner or later, but Rong Ci loves you. You’re married now, and you have children. Every day you stay here is one less day left. With the time you have, you might as well try getting along with him properly. In the future, it will give him and the children something to hold on to, and it will spare you from regrets later.”
As for what those “not-so-good things” were, Ling Li didn’t explain. Su Jingyang’s head had been spinning anyway, so he couldn’t remember either.
About a quarter of an hour after Ling Li left, Rong Ci still hadn’t returned. Su Jingyang quickly grew restless and walked toward the door with the child in his arms. Coincidentally, just then he spotted Rong Ci’s tall figure outside the sleeping hall, striding toward them.
Su Jingyang immediately changed direction, continuing to pace with the child as if he’d only wandered over to the door by accident.
When Rong Ci entered, Su Jingyang said, “You’re back.”
Rong Ci casually swept his gaze around and asked, “Did Ling Li leave?”
Su Jingyang hummed in response and then actively made small talk with him. The two chatted as they walked further inside.
Xiao Fan rolled over on the bed by himself and got stuck, whining and flailing as he couldn’t crawl back up. Seeing this, Rong Ci reached out and scooped him up. Xiao Fan not only didn’t cry, he leaned forward just in time and planted a slobbery kiss on Rong Ci’s cheek, leaving a trail of drool.
Xiao Fan stared at Rong Ci with his big, clear black-and-white eyes, looking extremely proud.
Rong Ci’s long, beautiful black eyes curved as he smiled, though his mouth clicked in mock disgust. “You little thing, you smeared your father’s face with drool.”
Xiao Fan waved his tiny fists twice and grinned at Rong Ci, revealing pink gums. Rong Ci reached out to wipe the drool away.
Su Jingyang stood to the side holding Da Fan, his heart immediately unsettled. He subtly observed Rong Ci for a moment and saw that his expression truly looked natural and not forced. Pretending ignorance, he asked, “Rong Ci, I got drunk this morning. Did I…”
Rong Ci glanced at him. “Did you what?”
Su Jingyang said, “Did I do anything to you or say anything?”
Rong Ci thought for a moment. “You locked me outside and wouldn’t let me in. As for what you said… you were mumbling. I couldn’t hear very clearly.”
Su Jingyang froze briefly, then slowly sat down with the child in his arms, lowering his eyes in thought. Rong Ci hadn’t said it outright, but Su Jingyang suddenly guessed a little. It was nothing more than those heartless words he had said before, trying to force Rong Ci to face their relationship clearly.
He’d always said them bluntly without thinking he was wrong. Laying everything out clearly in advance was good for both of them.
Now their relationship was different. Thinking carefully, it seemed that all along, he really had been unintentionally hurting Rong Ci’s heart.
Su Jingyang wanted to say sorry to Rong Ci, but his lips moved and his throat felt blocked. In the end, only a faint breath escaped. He stole a glance at Rong Ci, whose expression showed nothing unusual, hesitated, and ultimately let it go.
After the meal, Rong Ci helped Su Jingyang bathe the children. During this period, Rong Ci had been inspecting some outer-river formation arrays. Su Jingyang didn’t understand much about them, only that they were used to defend against external enemies and were crucial to Rongcheng, not something that could be handled carelessly.
Today, Rong Ci had returned unusually early, so while bathing the children, Su Jingyang asked how things were progressing.
Rong Ci knelt on one knee and handed him a towel. Hearing the question, a fleeting dark glint flashed through his ink-black eyes. He stared at Su Jingyang’s profile and said slowly, “This inspection happens every three years. It’s a bit troublesome, but after another twenty or so days, I’ll only need to check on it daily. Why, are you not used to me not being home with you?”
Su Jingyang clicked his tongue, wrapped the washed Xiao Fan in a large towel, and handed him over. “I’m very used to it. When you’re home, all you do is make the kids cry and add to my trouble.”
Xiao Fan’s face was flushed red from the steam. He blinked his big eyes and leaned obediently in Rong Ci’s arms. However, his obedient phase with Rong Ci never lasted very long.
Su Jingyang still had Da Fan to bathe. Taking advantage of Xiao Fan not crying yet, he directed Rong Ci to dress Xiao Fan first.
Rong Ci followed his instructions. Working together, they bathed both children until they smelled fresh and clean. It was still early, and the children weren’t ready to sleep. Su Jingyang placed them on the bed to play, and together with Rong Ci, shook a small rattle to amuse them. They loved the sound, mouths open as they babbled, little hands and feet kicking even more enthusiastically.
Su Jingyang propped his cheek on his hand, staring absently at their small faces.
Just that morning, he’d been so angry he wanted to strangle them. Now, he felt nothing but regret and remorse over his earlier outburst. Whenever it involved the children, he felt like he was becoming strangely different.
Perhaps due to the lingering aftermath of his anger, the two little brats didn’t even demand to be held. After yawning several times, they fell asleep on their own.
Su Jingyang sighed inwardly. If every day were like this, how great would that be! His world would truly be much quieter. Yet he knew it was only a dream.
He stretched and lay down as well, turning his head to glance at Rong Ci sleeping on the outer side. He found that Rong Ci wasn’t asleep, lying with one arm as a pillow, his eyes fixed on the ceiling as if lost in thought.
Su Jingyang leaned closer and asked, “What are you thinking about?”
Rong Ci turned his gaze slightly toward him. “Su Jingyang, I want to discuss something with you.”
Hearing the seriousness in his tone, Su Jingyang paused in surprise. “What is it? Go on.”
Rong Ci stared at him for a long while, then withdrew his gaze. His voice was low and slow, carrying a hint of difficulty. “I know you’re always thinking about going home. So, no matter when you plan to leave, I want you to tell me in advance. At least let me be mentally prepared.”
He hadn’t expected this. Su Jingyang’s heart trembled slightly, his fingers tightening. “Mm… I’ll tell you in advance, but you won’t—”
“I won’t do anything. Don’t worry. If you’re willing to stay, I’ll naturally be happy. If you want to leave, I absolutely won’t force you. Everything will follow your wishes. If you don’t believe me…” Rong Ci looked at him again, his deep eyes locking onto his. “I swear on all the people of Rongcheng. If I break this oath, may the entire city be annihilated.”
Su Jingyang didn’t blink, holding his breath as he met his gaze. His mind went blank for a moment.
Rongcheng’s importance to Rong Ci was something Su Jingyang understood well. The moment those words “entire city be annihilated” were spoken, belief was no longer optional.
After a long time, Su Jingyang finally found his voice. Tugging at the corner of his mouth, he hurriedly said in an unsteady tone, “That’s good.”
That really was good. It was exactly what he wanted.
“Then promise me too. From now on, you must tell me. Don’t leave too suddenly.”
“I know. I’m really sleepy. I’m going to sleep.”
Su Jingyang turned his back to Rong Ci, pulled the blanket tight, and closed his eyes.
Later that night, when the children woke to nurse, Su Jingyang realized he’d been tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, his chest kept feeling tightly blocked.
He sat up and adjusted his breathing but still couldn’t sleep. After thinking it over, he could only attribute it to the aftereffects of sleeping too much while drunk during the day.
Su Jingyang didn’t feel very energetic when he woke up in the morning. While the children weren’t fussing yet, he flopped back onto the bed to make up for some sleep, only to be woken shortly after by Da Fan’s rumbling fart.
The sound was always the prelude to a dirty diaper. Su Jingyang rubbed his temples, estimated the time, and was about to get up when Rong Ci pressed him back down.
“Lie down. I’ll handle it.”
As soon as Rong Ci finished speaking, a subordinate suddenly requested an audience outside the sleeping hall. Su Jingyang found it strange. Usually, if there was something to report, they would wait in the main hall for Rong Ci.
Rushing here so urgently meant it was likely something serious. Su Jingyang told Rong Ci to go take a look while he handled things here.
By the time he finished changing Da Fan into a clean diaper, Rong Ci returned. Su Jingyang turned to look and saw that Rong Ci was holding an opened letter.
Holding Da Fan, Su Jingyang asked what had happened. Rong Ci walked to the bedside and stared at him deeply for a moment, then delivered news that caught him completely off guard.
“The emperor of the Da Lin Dynasty has passed away.”
…
When Song Hui hurried over with a letter to see Ling Li, Ling Li was at his desk teaching Ah Xuan how to write characters.
Song Hui was panting, his face unable to conceal his excitement. He presented the letter with both hands. Ling Li’s calm expression stood in stark contrast to Song Hui’s. He lifted his head, glanced at him, and took the letter.
After taking it, Ling Li didn’t open it right away. It felt like a thick stack, probably more words of longing again. Every time, it filled five or six pages.
After handing over the letter, Song Hui didn’t leave. His eyes shone brightly as he suddenly lifted his robe and knelt, performing a deep salute. His voice rang out clearly. “Young Master, His Highness will soon hold the ascension ceremony. Before long, he’ll send people to escort you and the little young master back to the palace. This subordinate offers congratulations in advance!”
Before his words even finished, a tremendous storm surged through Ling Li’s eyes. His hand trembled uncontrollably, and the letter slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor.
He stared at Song Hui in disbelief.
In that instant, the air in the room seemed to freeze solid.
Ling Li remained silent for a long time. Song Hui lowered his head uneasily. “Young Master…”
Only after a long while did Ling Li finally speak in a voice devoid of joy or sorrow. “I understand. You may leave.”
Song Hui answered yes, picked up the letter from the floor, placed it on the desk, and quietly departed.
Ling Li sat stunned for a long time. Ah Xuan, who had been holding back and staying silent nearby, nestled into his arms and asked with sparkling eyes, “Papa, is Father coming to pick us up? Can we go home?”
Ling Li looked at the child’s delighted expression, raised his hand to pat his head, and closed his eyes. His face was pale, and though he was sitting, his body swayed unsteadily, as if he might topple at any moment.
After a moment of disordered breathing, Ling Li said quietly, “Go sit back down and continue practicing your writing seriously.”
Ling Li didn’t answer the question, leaving Ah Xuan distracted. After writing a few strokes, he turned back to look at him again. Ling Li’s breathing grew heavy. His voice was clearly weak, yet every word was distinct, carrying an air of authority. “Ah Xuan, remember what Papa says. From today onward, anything related to your studies must be approached with diligence. No laziness. Do you hear me?”
Ah Xuan nodded vigorously. “I hear you. I won’t be lazy. Every day, besides practicing writing, I’ll read more books.”
That day, Ah Xuan indeed practiced several sheets of calligraphy and kept studying characters until nearly midnight before finally falling asleep from exhaustion.
Ling Li sat quietly by the bed, illuminated by candlelight, staring fixedly at Ah Xuan’s sleeping face. His eyes were cold and hollow, as if his soul had gone missing.
“…Ah Li.”
Ling Li only then realized someone had entered the room. He turned his head and saw Rong Hua already standing before him.
Rong Hua glanced at Ah Xuan on the bed and gestured with his eyes for Ling Li to speak with him aside. Ling Li paused, tucked the blanket around Ah Xuan, and followed him.
“Take it.” After sitting down by the table, Rong Hua hurriedly opened a small box. Inside was a vermilion pill. He looked at Ling Li with sadness in his eyes. “Once you take it, you’ll fall ill. Only in Rongcheng can it be cured. That way, you won’t need to return to the palace with him for now.”
Ling Li’s gaze fell on the pill. His lips moved slightly as his fingernails dug into his palm. His eyes reddened faintly, yet he didn’t move for a long while.
Rong Hua lowered his voice. “Don’t worry. You already took one Gu poison pill before, and symptoms have appeared. Haven’t the Crown Prince’s subordinates been reporting that your health is poor? If you fall ill now, it won’t seem abrupt or raise suspicion. Even if there are problems, Rong Ci will help you.”
Ling Li’s gaze seemed frozen. He still didn’t move. A few loose strands of black hair brushed his cheek. Moisture shimmered in his eyes, but his expression remained eerily calm.
Rong Hua grew puzzled. Before, Ling Li had been so determined to stay in Rongcheng, unwilling to enter the palace, even aborting a child for it. So why was he suddenly hesitating now?
Rong Hua continued, “Ah Li, don’t worry. This Gu poison I prepared only looks frightening. Once you endure this period and the storm passes, you’ll recover quickly. Ah Li, I would never harm you. Believe me.”
Ling Li squeezed his eyes shut. His long, dark lashes lowered over his eyelids, trembling several times like wings.
Amid his unsteady, chaotic breathing, he suddenly raised his hand and snapped the small box shut in Rong Hua’s grasp.
With a soft click, it was as if a great bell had rung in his mind, resounding thunderously.
Ling Li lowered his head, let out a long breath, then lifted his eyes to look at Rong Hua. His hoarse voice was low. “I won’t take this medicine anymore. Rong Hua, thank you for always helping me. Truly, thank you.”
Rong Hua was so shocked he couldn’t speak for a long moment. “What’s wrong with you, Ah Li? Why? Could it be…”
Ling Li’s eyes were wet. He tilted his head slightly and smiled at him, his tone unusually slow and calm. “Mm. I’ve actually changed my mind. I… plan to take Ah Xuan into the palace.”
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