You Didn’t Say Anything, You Just Cried Really Hard
Ever since Su Jingyang was hijacked by the system and dragged into this world, suffering a series of completely undeserved disasters, the thought of going home had remained unwavering.
Rather than a thought, it was a conviction.
Even though he had Ah Li and Ah Xuan here, who were like family to him, Liang Lu and Rong Hua who treated him well, and Rong Ci with whom his emotions were hopelessly entangled… the belief of returning home stood firm in his heart like an unshakable mountain.
He wanted to go back. Even if he ended up alone after returning, that was the place where he had grown up and put down roots. There, he wouldn’t be entangled or coerced by the system ever again!
If he were to stop collecting energy and give up returning to his original world, that would mean being manipulated by the system for the rest of his life, meaning bowing to the damn dog system, meaning lowering his head to evil forces!!!
Just thinking about it made Su Jingyang feel so suffocated he could hardly breathe, every nerve in his body screaming in refusal! No one had the right to demand such a heavy price from him!
Yet he didn’t know when it started, but he had quietly begun to change. What was supposed to be a simple transaction slowly turned into him growing accustomed to Rong Ci’s presence, accustomed to the warmth of being held, accustomed to the sense of security Rong Ci gave him. Even when he flew into a rage over being deceived, he still ended up backing down out of worry for Rong Ci’s injuries. Su Jingyang had to admit that Rong Ci’s goal in tricking him into marriage had partially succeeded. He did care about him, at least a little. Even so, he kept warning himself repeatedly that absolutely, like absolutely, and very absolutely do not fall into the trap.
One step in, and it’s all over.
Now there were also two children. They had only been together for a month. Although their daily crying gave him headaches and vexation, the bond that grew from blood itself was unstoppable, steadily eroding his heart and leaving him panicked.
Sometimes, quietly watching the children sleep in their tiny, bundled forms, gazing at their adorable little faces, a faint sadness and soreness would well up in Su Jingyang’s chest. He was truly… afraid that if this continued, he wouldn’t be able to let go.
That night, when the two children woke up for their night feeding, it was Rong Ci who called someone in. Normally, when the children stirred restlessly from hunger, Su Jingyang would wake up quickly and call the wet nurse. However today, he lay still with his eyes closed, as if he hadn’t noticed anything at all.
Rong Ci knew he was actually awake. His dark eyes flickered slightly as he stared at Su Jingyang’s back, facing away from him, for quite a while.
Rong Ci felt that he was acting strangely that day. His intuition told him it wasn’t just guilt toward the children. It felt like something else was weighing on his mind.
Rong Ci reached out, pressed his body closer, and wrapped his arm around him. After a moment, Su Jingyang finally moved slightly in his embrace, opened his eyes, and turned his head to look at him.
Their gazes met. Rong Ci stared deeply at him and was about to speak when Su Jingyang raised his hand and covered his mouth, frowning to stop him from talking. He was afraid that being questioned would only make his thoughts more chaotic.
Rong Ci’s breathing grew heavier, and his gaze fixed on Su Jingyang’s face. After a while, he gently pulled Su Jingyang’s hand down and held it, pressing a kiss to it. His low voice was soft. “Go to sleep. The children probably won’t fuss anymore in a bit.”
He didn’t ask. Su Jingyang let out a quiet breath of relief, responded vaguely, but didn’t fall asleep. He forced himself to stay awake until the children finished feeding, then got up to take both of them back and place them at his side.
Fortunately, after playing for a while, both of them fell asleep together again.
Even in his sleep, Da Fan tightly gripped one of Su Jingyang’s fingers with his tiny hand, refusing to let go.
Su Jingyang’s nose filled with the milky scent of the child, and his heart softened without him realizing it. He didn’t pull his hand away, tucked Xiao Fan in more securely, then lay down and closed his eyes while maintaining that position.
After realizing his sexual orientation, he never had much desire for children. Every day after work, he would just play games and go to sleep. Back then, how could he have imagined that his nightlife would end up like this?
Su Jingyang slept deeply this time. When he suddenly startled awake and opened his eyes, he found that both children were already awake. Though their eyes were misty with tears, noses red, and little mouths puckering, they strangely weren’t crying out loud.
Su Jingyang was utterly stunned. After a brief pause, he sharply turned his head and saw Rong Ci sitting cross-legged beside him in a single white robe, arms crossed. His eyes were cold and sharp as he stared at the two children, the intimidating look making it feel like he was about to eat someone.
Su Jingyang fell silent for a moment. “……What are you doing?”
Rong Ci looked at him and said, “I was seeing how they could manage without crying. Teaching them a lesson so they don’t fuss all day long and exhaust you like this.”
As soon as the words fell, the two children suddenly let out a loud wail, crying in grievance. Their little mouths trembled as they cried.
Rong Ci: “……”
Su Jingyang closed his eyes, his chest heaving sharply twice, then roared through clenched teeth, “Rong Ci!!!”
Rong Ci’s brow jumped violently at the shout. He pressed his lips together tightly and didn’t dare say a word.
Su Jingyang held the children in his arms while scolding Rong Ci until he was sprayed head to toe with abuse. Rong Ci blinked repeatedly, even more afraid to tell Su Jingyang that he had actually used a tiny bit of magic earlier to keep the children from fussing and waking him too early.
Unfortunately, such a simple spell didn’t seem to have much effect on the two little ones. Even more maddening, they found their reliable backer and were feeling quite smug. Now, he was the only one left to take the scolding…
Rong Ci listened under dark clouds until Su Jingyang finally ran out of energy to scold him. Only then did he quietly let out a long breath, get dressed, put on his shoes, and leave the bed to instruct people to prepare hot water to bathe the children.
The heat rashes on Da Fan and Xiao Fan were almost completely healed after three days of applying ointment. The stone weighing on Su Jingyang’s heart finally settled. After that though, he became even more careful. Just as Ling Li had said, experience came from slowly figuring things out yourself. There was no need to be overly nervous.
During this period, Ah Xuan had been staying with the Grand Shaman, and Rong Hua still hadn’t returned. The only one who came unfailingly every day to keep Su Jingyang company was Ling Li. When the weather was nice, Su Jingyang would go out with Ling Li to let the children bask in the sun and get some fresh air. When the weather was bad, they stayed in the sleeping hall.
While caring for the children, Su Jingyang would chat with Ling Li to relieve some of the exhaustion. If Rong Ci returned after handling his affairs to accompany Su Jingyang, Ling Li would stay for about the time it took to drink a cup of tea, then leave.
Before he knew it, another twenty or so days passed. On this day, sparse snowflakes drifted outside, so Su Jingyang didn’t go out.
Not long after Rong Ci left, Ling Li arrived with Ah Xuan. They sat together chatting idly. Su Jingyang suddenly thought of something and asked Ling Li, “By the way, Ah Li, Rong Hua still hasn’t come back, right?”
Ling Li teased Xiao Fan in his arms while softly replying, “He’s close with Xu Mei. Maybe he stayed there to play for a few more days.”
Su Jingyang responded with an “oh.” Staying there for a few days wasn’t a big deal. He was just worried something might have happened to him. However, given Rong Hua’s fierce and arrogant temperament, he usually wouldn’t let himself be bullied.
After holding Xiao Fan for a while, Su Jingyang put him back into the crib and picked up Da Fan to play. The two children could only be held in turns, otherwise it would be favoritism. Fortunately, they were gradually crying less now and were adapting to Su Jingyang’s arrangement.
Ah Xuan’s bright eyes studied Su Jingyang for a long while before he suddenly asked, “Uncle, why are you unhappy?”
Su Jingyang was caught completely off guard by the question. He widened his eyes in surprise and looked at A Xuan.
The Grand Shaman’s treatment had clearly been effective. Seeing Ah Xuan’s increasingly clear and bright gaze now, Su Jingyang couldn’t help recalling the scene from when he first saw the child. It really hadn’t been that long ago, yet it felt like a lifetime had passed.
Su Jingyang curved his lips into a smile at Ah Xuan. “Uncle isn’t unhappy. I’m just a little tired.”
Rong Ci knew that caring for the children all day left Su Jingyang annoyed and exhausted, his emotions heavy and hard to speak of. So he gritted his teeth and endured every day, never talking back when scolded and never fighting back when hit. He hadn’t expected that now even a child could see through it.
Ling Li gazed at Su Jingyang for a long time. His lips moved before he said hoarsely, “Jingyang, if only I could… do something for you.”
He had once said that he would repay this person for the rest of his life. Yet so far, it seemed like he hadn’t done anything at all, only watching helplessly, unable to help in any way.
Su Jingyang was momentarily stunned by Ling Li’s words, but he quickly concealed it with a fleeting smile. “It’s fine. I’m used to it now. Didn’t you say that after about three months, children usually become more obedient? I’ve already endured half that time. If I just hang on a bit longer, it’ll get easier.”
Two days later, Rong Hua finally returned. Unlike his previous irritable and gloomy state, he was completely quiet and subdued this time. After coming back to see Da Fan and Xiao Fan once, he returned to his room and didn’t come out for several days.
It was snowing outside, and it wasn’t convenient for Su Jingyang to take the children to see him. After Ling Li visited and came back, he told Su Jingyang with worry, “Rong Hua’s mood isn’t very good. I asked him what was wrong, but he only said he was annoyed and felt like everything was off.”
Everything was off? Su Jingyang tilted his head, completely puzzled. “What exactly is off? Did he say?”
Ling Li shook his head and sighed. “I didn’t dare ask too much. It feels like his heart is really heavy.”
When Rong Ci returned, Su Jingyang asked if he knew what was going on. Rong Ci was also somewhat unclear, but he still said, “Don’t worry. I’ll go see him tomorrow.”
In the end, Rong Hua was brought by Rong Ci to the Grand Shaman’s place. After listening to the Clear Heart Bell for over a month, his condition gradually improved a little. After that, he would occasionally come with Ling Li to play with Da Fan and Xiao Fan. Most of the time though, he still sat on the rooftop, letting the cold wind blow as he stared into space.
Su Jingyang didn’t have the energy to worry about him either, because nearly three months had passed and the two children still refused to be carried by anyone else. The only change was that they would submit to Rong Ci’s pressure and allow him to hold them for a short while. Even so, this didn’t lighten Su Jingyang’s burden much.
His hopes fell through, and the anxiety he had been suppressing flared up uncontrollably. Did he really have to stay trapped taking care of children like this forever? When would he be able to go out again to continue collecting energy? The longer it dragged on, the more he feared he wouldn’t be able to pull himself free.
That morning, Su Jingyang was feeding water to Su Da Fan and accidentally gave him too much, causing him to choke slightly. That alone was disastrous. He cried nonstop. Worried that something might suddenly be wrong with him, Su Jingyang called Li Yin over to take a look. After examining him, Li Yin said there was nothing physically wrong, but he still cried, crying as if his throat were being strangled, heart-wrenching and hoarse.
He cried for nearly half an hour until his voice turned raspy. In the freezing weather, Su Jingyang ended up drenched in sweat, yet nothing he did could soothe him.
Because all his attention was on him, Xiao Fan became unhappy too and started whimpering. Su Jingyang went from initial concern, to irritation, and finally to blazing rage.
He tossed Su Da Fan onto the bed and roared with bloodshot eyes, “Cry, cry, cry! All you ever do is cry every day!! I’m done with you!!”
Su Jingyang’s temper was a bit volatile, but during this period, he had poured all his thought and energy into caring for them. The children were still too young to speak. The only way they could express their emotions was by crying! Su Jingyang knew all of this and had been doing his best to endure it. Still, there was always a moment when emotions snapped, especially when he was already restless. The sound of crying was nothing but adding fuel to the fire.
After being tossed onto the bed by him, like abandoned pitiful little bugs, flailing small hands and feet, they cried even more miserably. After a while, they cried until no sound came out, his face flushed red, as if they might cry themselves unconscious at any moment.
The maids who had been sent to wait outside heard the alarming cries and rushed in to see what was happening. They saw Su Jingyang roughly rake a hand through his messy hair and squat on the ground. As they hesitated and approached, Su Jingyang suddenly stood up, turned back to the bed, and scooped the children into his arms. His eyes were red, the anger between his brows not yet gone, filled with helplessness and bitterness as he resigned himself to soothing the children again.
In the end, both children cried themselves tired and fell asleep in their cradles.
Su Jingyang felt utterly drained. He collapsed onto the ground and muttered, “Damn it, when is this life ever going to end?”
The system appeared and snorted coldly. “When will it end? Wait until you’ve given birth to ten more first.”
Su Jingyang’s heart jolted violently. Bone-chilling cold instantly crawled over his entire body, refusing to dissipate!
He tugged at the corner of his stiff mouth in sorrow. He truly didn’t have the strength to curse it anymore. His body slowly leaned back until he lay on the ground, staring blankly without moving.
Ling Li’s face appeared in his field of vision at some point, full of worry. “Don’t sleep on the floor. It’s cold.”
Su Jingyang lay there, staring at him dully for a long while before suddenly saying hoarsely, “Ah Li… I want to drink some wine.”
Ling Li was worried about Su Jingyang’s body and usually wouldn’t let him drink too much. This time, however, he didn’t stop him. Su Jingyang drank cup after cup, ultimately letting himself get completely drunk.
What happened afterward was all blurry to Su Jingyang. He only remembered clinging to Ling Li and breaking down in a cathartic cry. He had no memory at all of what drunken nonsense he might’ve said.
The only thing he remembered clearly was Ling Li gently patting his back, continuously comforting him. As he did, tears began falling onto Su Jingyang’s neck, hot and scalding, making his body shudder uncontrollably.
Rong Ci seemed to have returned at some point, but Su Jingyang chased him out and even locked the door from the inside.
When Su Jingyang woke up with a splitting headache, it was already evening. He opened his eyes and instinctively looked to his side. The children were there. Perhaps because he lost his temper earlier that day, Da Fan and Xiao Fan were lying quietly in the bed without making a fuss.
For a moment, Su Jingyang didn’t know what he was feeling. He pressed his aching brow and slowly sat up, only to feel a gentle force steady him.
His sluggish mind finally reacted as he looked at the person sitting by the bed. The face was delicate and pale, light-colored eyes quietly watching him. There was a gentle, steadfast strength in that gaze.
It was Ling Li.
“You’re awake.” Ling Li smiled faintly and said softly, “Sit for a bit. I’ll bring you some hangover soup.”
Su Jingyang suddenly felt a sharp flutter in his heart and grabbed Ling Li. “Ah Li!!”
Ling Li sat back down. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell somewhere?”
Su Jingyang irritably scratched the back of his head and looked at him with a hoarse voice. “Not really… um, Ah Li, did I get drunk and go crazy, and say any nonsense to you?”
Ling Li curved his lips into a small smile, his gaze calm like still water, without the slightest ripple.
He tightly squeezed Su Jingyang’s hand and said softly, “You didn’t say anything. You just cried really hard.”
Su Jingyang stared at him. “Really? Nothing at all?”
“Really.” Ling Li smiled again, his tone relaxed. “Could it be that you said something embarrassing and are afraid I heard it?”
Su Jingyang felt his ears burning. He awkwardly raised a hand to wipe his face and stopped talking, quietly letting out a breath in his heart.
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