Was It Really About to Come True?
After learning that the old emperor had passed away, Su Jingyang began to worry about Ah Li. When Ah Li first came to Rongcheng, he hadn’t clearly stated his stance, but Su Jingyang had always sensed that Ah Li was unwilling to have anything to do with the imperial palace.
Because of that belief, when Su Jingyang learned from Rong Ci that Ah Li intended to take Ah Xuan and enter the palace, he stood frozen for a long time, unable to react.
He still found it hard to believe and hurriedly asked Rong Ci, “Did Ah Li say it himself?”
Rong Ci nodded. “After hearing the news, Rong Hua went to talk to him. He said it himself.” After a brief pause, Rong Ci added, “You can also wait until he comes and ask him in person.”
Rong Ci himself couldn’t quite figure out Ah Li’s thinking either. Both he and Rong Hua clearly remembered what Ah Li had done when he first arrived in Rongcheng. Back then, Ah Li’s attitude had been sober and resolute. If he truly wanted to enter the palace, why go through so much trouble first? Now, not only had he changed his mind at the last moment, he even looked firm about it.
It felt as though there was some reason forcing him to make this choice.
Rong Hua couldn’t get that reason out of him, but Su Jingyang definitely could.
If even Su Jingyang couldn’t ask it out, then there was probably no one in this world who would know why Ah Li had decided to do this.
Rong Ci privately hoped that Ah Li would stay here. If Ah Li wanted to remain, Rong Ci would certainly help. He knew that Su Jingyang and Ah Li shared a particularly deep bond. If they were separated, Su Jingyang would surely be heartbroken.
Rong Ci urged Su Jingyang to ask things through, and Su Jingyang felt the same. When afternoon came and Ah Li arrived, Su Jingyang rushed to the doorway like a gust of wind, pulled him inside impatiently, shut the door, and asked anxiously, “Ah Li, I heard Rong Ci say…”
Ah Li smiled lightly, his expression calm. “You already know.”
Su Jingyang nodded and was about to speak again when cheerful babbling sounds from the children filled the room, loud enough to be impossible to ignore. Ah Li followed the sound inward. “Is Ah Yu calling out?”
Su Jingyang followed him and said, “Who else could it be? He’s been straining his voice all day.”
“Ah Yu takes after you, lively by nature.” Ah Li sat by the small crib, his gaze gentle as he looked at the two children.
Da Fan kicked his legs and practiced his voice, calling out every so often. Xiao Fan was asleep. By coincidence, Xiao Fan’s small fist rested against his own ear, as if he were annoyed by his brother’s noise.
Ah Li couldn’t help laughing softly. He reached out to touch Da Fan’s constantly moving little feet, then sighed lightly. His tone carried some regret as he said to Su Jingyang, “I’ve hardly held these two little ones. If I’d known, I would’ve held them more when they were just born.”
The moment Su Jingyang heard him say that, his heart felt unsettled. His thoughts grew chaotic. He sat beside Ah Li, turned his shoulders so Ah Li faced him, and spoke solemnly.
“Ah Li, tell me honestly. Do you really want to enter the palace of your own free will? If you don’t want to go back, Rong Ci definitely has a way to help you. You…”
Ah Li answered quickly, his expression showing no struggle at all. “It’s of my own free will.”
Su Jingyang stared at him for a moment. He recalled getting drunk and causing trouble two days ago, and unease rose uncontrollably in his heart. He carefully examined Ah Li’s expression and probed cautiously. “Ah Li, the day I got drunk, did I say something to you…”
“Jingyang, there’s no need to worry so much. I’ve actually been thinking about this for a long time.” Ah Li held Su Jingyang’s wrist in return, cutting him off without leaving a trace. He looked at him, his gaze as warm and steady as ever. “I didn’t tell you before, but His Highness promised me the position of primary consort to the crown prince.”
Su Jingyang was extremely surprised. He truly hadn’t known about this. The position of primary consort? Ming Zhan didn’t seem like the kind of person who would casually placate others with words. If he said it, then he must genuinely mean it.
Ah Li continued, “If he values me so highly, how could I not be moved? At the same time, I did have concerns, since I lack status… Yet later I thought it through. People strive upward, water flows downward. With such a good opportunity, why shouldn’t I fight for it, for myself and for Ah Xuan?
Ah Xuan is no different from a normal child now, and he wants to stay by his father’s side. His Highness has feelings for me as well. Even after he becomes emperor, he should keep his promise and leave me a place in the inner palace, not treating us father and son poorly.”
Su Jingyang stared at Ah Li without blinking. His mind felt messy. Hearing these words from Ah Li somehow felt off, yet he truly couldn’t find any flaw.
“Ah Li, is this really what you think deep down? You must tell me the truth. Don’t hide anything from me.”
“I’m not hiding anything. This is what I truly think.” Seeing that Su Jingyang still didn’t quite believe him, Ah Li lowered his eyes and sighed softly. “I’ve said it before, Jingyang. Don’t think of me as too simple or pure. I’m not that detached from the world either. Staying in one small world for too long makes one want to see a bigger, broader place. I also yearn for that kind of life above others.”
Su Jingyang felt a heavy tightness in his chest for a long while. “Ah Li, surviving in the imperial palace isn’t that simple. Have you really thought it through?”
“Of course.” Ah Li replied. “During these days in Rongcheng, I’ve been thinking it over carefully. I’m not a child. I know what kind of place the palace is… Even so, I still made this decision.”
As Ah Li spoke, his eyes reddened. He pulled Su Jingyang’s hand down and gripped it tightly. His lips trembled, his expression suddenly looking unbearably pained, as though the earlier calm had all been a disguise.
His voice choked heavily. “I just can’t bear to part with you. I can’t bear it… Only when separation is so close did I realize how short the time we spent together was. Jingyang, in the future… no matter where you are, even if… even if you go home, you can’t forget me, alright? Promise me.”
“Why say such foolish things? Of course I won’t forget you.” Thinking of the imminent separation filled Su Jingyang with sorrow as well. His eyes grew moist as he said softly, “Even if we aren’t together, we can still keep each other in our hearts. How could I forget you? Ah Li won’t forget me either, right?”
Ah Li nodded forcefully, tears already covering his face, unable to speak.
Su Jingyang held back his tears and gently rubbed Ah Li’s damp eye corners with his sleeve. He said softly, “Besides, the Crown Prince is only just about to ascend the throne. There must be a lot to arrange, and it will take some time. We won’t separate that quickly. Even if you go to Jincheng, if I have the chance later… I can go see you too.”
The chance… Ah Li forced a small smile, nodded again, and softly answered, “Alright.”
That day, Ah Li stayed with Su Jingyang for a long time, as though cherishing something deeply. He spoke far more than usual.
It wasn’t until evening that Ah Li got up to leave. Because of the unfinished sentence that had been cut off earlier, Su Jingyang’s heart felt knotted the entire time. After thinking it over, he still chased after him and grabbed Ah Li just as he reached outside the sleeping hall. “Ah Li, the day I got drunk… I really didn’t say anything to you?”
Ah Li slightly opened his eyes, as if recalling. “You did say something… probably just shouted a few times about wanting to go home.”
Su Jingyang’s scalp instantly tightened. He hurriedly asked, “And then?!”
Ah Li took in his nervous appearance and replied evenly, “Then you just kept crying until Rong Ci came back.”
Su Jingyang stared at Ah Li silently for a long time without speaking. Ah Li looked back at him, his expression puzzled. “Jingyang, what’s wrong with you? You just cried once in front of me while drunk. Why are you so concerned? What embarrassing things are you afraid you might’ve said?”
Su Jingyang scratched his head and laughed. “It’s nothing. I was just asking.”
Ah Li said, “Then I’ll head back. I still need to supervise Ah Xuan’s studies. I’ll come again tomorrow.”
“Alright.” Su Jingyang said, letting go of his hand.
Only then did Ah Li walk away. At the instant he turned around, the faint smile on his face shattered almost immediately. He quickened his steps, not daring to linger. His eyes lowered slightly, hiding the surging thoughts he could no longer restrain, as he hurriedly left.
…
Sure enough, letting Da Fan and Xiao Fan fall asleep obediently on their own at night was nothing more than a foolishly beautiful dream.
That night, Su Jingyang carried the children back and forth by the bed, coaxing them until his legs nearly gave out. Only then did he finally get the two little ancestors to sleep. He collapsed onto the bed utterly exhausted, without even the strength to bathe. Yet leaving the sweat on his body felt uncomfortable.
After struggling internally for quite a while, the thought of not wanting to get up won out. He continued lying stiffly, wanting to stay like that until the end of time.
In the end, Rong Ci brought water to the bedside and wiped Su Jingyang’s face, body, and hands himself.
Su Jingyang drowsily blinked at Rong Ci, who was carefully wiping his hands. He couldn’t help recalling the dream he had, thinking that although the two children never let Rong Ci hold them much, Rong Ci had always tried his best to share the burden. Before sleeping, he often massaged Su Jingyang’s legs and shoulders, which was already very considerate.
If Rong Ci were truly as heartless as in that dream, doing nothing and spewing cold words nonstop, Su Jingyang would’ve grabbed a knife and chopped someone in a rage!
After finishing wiping Su Jingyang’s fingers, Rong Ci glanced at him twice. His dark eyes flickered slightly. He suddenly leaned down and kissed him hard on the lips, his nose pressing against Su Jingyang’s. In a low, probing voice, he said, “There was killing intent in your eyes just now. Tell me, what bad idea were you thinking about?”
His breath brushed against Su Jingyang’s lips, making them itch. Su Jingyang couldn’t help turning his head and letting out a short laugh as he pushed Rong Ci’s face away.
Rong Ci caught his hand instead and lowered his head to kiss him again for a moment before letting go.
Watching Rong Ci remove his outer robe, Su Jingyang noticed him take off the pixiu jade pendant and place it beside the pillow again. He couldn’t help snorting. “Just a broken piece of jade, worn every single day.”
Only after lying down beside him did Rong Ci reply, “You gave it to me. Of course I wear it every day. I’ll wear it for a lifetime. What else would I do?”
Su Jingyang scoffed. “Back then you disliked it so much. Now you’re just good at saying nice things.”
Rong Ci curled his lips. “You like hearing nice things. I’ll say a couple to coax you.”
“…Bye.”
Su Jingyang turned his back to him. Rong Ci immediately reached out to hug him. Thinking of something, Su Jingyang still turned back and hugged Rong Ci, burying his head in his arms.
Rong Ci stroked his hair and said gently, “Sleep peacefully. I’ll listen out for the children. If I can’t handle it, I’ll call you.”
Su Jingyang mumbled an acknowledgment. After estimating that Rong Ci should be asleep, he slowly opened his eyes again, his gaze filled with thoughts he couldn’t erase.
After Ah Li left earlier, Su Jingyang kept thinking. If Ah Li and the Crown Prince were truly the protagonists the system spoke of, and if the two of them really ended up together according to the original plot without his involvement, would he be able to collect ninety percent of the energy in one go?
System #1 didn’t appear, leaving him with no way to ask. He could only guess that it was probably possible. After all, if the protagonists ended up together in a perfect conclusion, that would be the greatest meaning of this world.
If he truly could collect that much and then fill the remaining progress bar, he would really be able to shake off the damn system and go home.
Go home.
Those two simple yet profound words had haunted his heart like a demon for so long. Could they really be about to come true?
Imagining this possibility left Su Jingyang momentarily dazed and unable to believe it. He didn’t even feel the imagined urge to jump up in excitement.
Going home meant there would be no Rong Ci, no children, no Ah Li, no Ah Xuan, and no Rong Hua.
He could return to a normal life. He would go to work, come home, and play games. He wouldn’t be bound by the system anymore. He wouldn’t have to agonize over emotions, nor exhaust himself every day caring for children with severe sleep deprivation.
That kind of life should be the one that truly belonged to him.
He slowly lifted his gaze and happened to see the line of Rong Ci’s jaw and the curve of his lips. Instinctively, he raised his hand to touch them, but his heart suddenly tightened, and his hand froze midair.
After leaving, that world would no longer have this warm embrace he’d grown accustomed to, one he’d also become attached to. It would never be there again.
It would be gone forever.
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