Is He Pathetic or Am I Pathetic?
Su Jingyang slowly tightened his grip on the armrest of the daybed. Silent shock filled his eyes. He stared so wide he did not even dare to breathe too loudly.
The Demonic Sect, the surname Lin, pregnancy, jumping off a building… so many details matched. It absolutely was not a coincidence!
The Lin Que and Lin Zhao Rong Hua was talking about had to be descendants of Lu Qian and Lin Jia. Lu Qian’s child actually survived?! Even more than that, he had this layer of connection to Rong Hua!
Su Jingyang was completely stunned. He turned to look at Rong Ci and saw a subtle shift in Rong Ci’s expression, as if he had also arrived at the same possibility. Their gazes collided but neither of them spoke.
The rest of the story, Su Jingyang could already guess part of it. The person Rong Hua encountered, the one who made him fall into the abyss, was most likely Ming Jiasheng.
Sure enough, when Ming Jiasheng was still the Crown Prince, he learned by chance from the Empress Dowager that there had once been a verbal betrothal with Wangyue Manor. Youthful and spirited, he could not restrain his curiosity. He slipped out of the palace in secret to look for the Mu Ronghua he was engaged to. By sheer “coincidence,” he ran into Mu Ronghua, who had just escaped from home.
Rong Hua gave a soft, self-mocking snort. “He knew my identity from the start, yet he deliberately called me ‘Brother Murong,’ joked around, acted familiar, got close to me… and even accompanied me all the way to find Lin Que. The funniest part is that I thought he was open and upright, with the bearing of a gentleman. I actually trusted him and treated him like a friend.”
Ming Jiasheng’s dark eyes stared toward them in grief. His fists clenched so hard the knuckles turned white. That first sight of Rong Hua, blazing like a red lotus in fire, that breathtakingly bright face, had branded itself into him. No matter how many years passed, it still carried a heat that could devour, etched deep into his heart.
At the time, he had only one thought, like an obsession circling his mind every moment.
He had to have this person.
Later, he got what he wanted, only…
Rong Hua said, “My father injured Lin Que and made an enemy of Lin Que’s father. I ran away to find Lin Que, but Lin Que’s father refused to let me see him. He even told me Lin Que was about to marry. I refused to believe it. Lin Que would never do that to me. Still… he really was going to marry someone else.”
Su Jingyang noticed Rong Hua’s hand, gripping the wine flask, trembling slightly. A flash of hatred crossed his tear-bright dark eyes.
He saw Lin Que again at the wedding a month later. Mu Ronghua felt utterly betrayed and completely lost control. In a rage that scorched the sky, he stormed the ceremony and nearly killed Lin Que’s new bride. Lin Que seemed like a different person. He shielded his newlywed wife and hurled vicious words at Mu Ronghua. He said he had long been sick of Mu Ronghua’s father making things difficult at every turn and that he never wanted to see Mu Ronghua again.
Mu Ronghua’s heart went cold at those merciless words. He still refused to give up. He tried to seize Lin Que and take him away by force. Ming Jiasheng, who had come with him, also stepped in to help. In the chaos, Lin Que severely injured Ming Jiasheng.
Mu Ronghua finally stopped. He severed his feelings for Lin Que completely and left decisively, taking Ming Jiasheng with him.
Mu Ronghua loved deeply and cut cleanly. After that, he never again sought any news about Lin Que. Even if the pain in his heart had already festered and bled, he clenched his teeth and tore that person out of his world, leaving nothing behind.
Mu Ronghua felt guilty for dragging Ming Jiasheng into it. He brought him back to Wangyue Manor and personally cared for him. During the time they spent together, Ming Jiasheng’s gentle, witty company actually smoothed a little of the rawness in his heart.
Once Mu Yun learned his son had completely cut ties with Lin Que, he finally felt relieved. He began arranging matches everywhere, pressing Mu Ronghua day after day to meet the young masters of various noble families.
Mu Ronghua was driven nearly mad with annoyance. Under his father’s harsh scolding and relentless pushing, he still went, unwilling and resentful.
Yet something strange happened. Every time he went to a meeting, those young masters either fell from a horse and got injured or suffered some other sudden accident and could not come. After it happened multiple times, Mu Yun assumed Mu Ronghua was behind it. He flew into a fury, called for the family punishment, and prepared to discipline his son. Ming Jiasheng, still recuperating at Wangyue Manor, came out in time to plead for Rong Hua.
Mu Yun had already vaguely guessed Ming Jiasheng’s identity. He did not dare show disrespect and could only force down his temper for the time being.
No one expected that Ming Jiasheng would suddenly confess his identity and his feelings for Mu Ronghua. He asked Mu Yun for Mu Ronghua’s hand, requesting to marry him as the Crown Princess Consort.
Mu Yun was stunned. He naturally knew Wangyue Manor had once made a verbal marriage agreement with the Empress Dowager, yet that had been set when they did not know his identity. Now he sat in a position of the highest honor, and his grandson held the exalted status of the Eastern Palace, the future Son of Heaven. Mu Yun never imagined the Ming family would truly honor the old promise and marry someone from the martial world.
Compared to the Lin family of the Demonic Sect, the imperial house did not comfort Mu Yun much either. Still, at that time, two successive emperors of the Ming family had each married only one Empress. All the emperor’s boundless favor belonged to that one person alone, leaving the harem empty.
This was unprecedented in the history of the Great Lin Dynasty. Among the people, those two emperors’ deep devotion and single-minded love became a celebrated tale. Countless love story manuscripts were written based on them and sold widely across the land. Rumor even said the Emperor and Empress themselves had read those stories, only to laugh them off without restricting them.
Ming Jiasheng looked at Mu Ronghua with deep affection, and the intensity in his eyes did not seem fake. A sliver of hope rose in Mu Yun’s heart. Perhaps this future Son of Heaven could also be like his father and imperial grandfather, devoted to one person for life.
Mu Yun was still hesitating when Mu Ronghua had already recovered from the shock of learning Ming Jiasheng’s identity. Cold and decisive, he returned four words to Ming Jiasheng: “I absolutely won’t marry.”
Mu Ronghua was born in the martial world and grew up in the martial world. He yearned for beautiful, loyal love and freedom like the wind. He did have a faint trace of goodwill toward Ming Jiasheng, but it was limited to friendship. He would never enter the palace, that huge prison, for Ming Jiasheng’s sake.
Over the following months, Ming Jiasheng clung to Mu Ronghua in every way. He pursued him relentlessly and made no attempt to hide the blazing passion in his heart. Rong Hua, however, never wavered.
Ming Jiasheng’s desire to possess him grew desperately urgent. He did not want to waste more time. In the end, he actually produced the authority of the imperial house and used the lives of everyone in Wangyue Manor as both threat and coercion. At last, he got what he wanted and brought Mu Ronghua, with nowhere left to retreat, into the palace as his spouse.
After the marriage, Ming Jiasheng doted on Mu Ronghua in every possible way and indulged him endlessly. He solemnly promised that in this lifetime, there would only ever be Mu Ronghua. In the days and nights they spent together, little by little, he melted Mu Ronghua’s heart of ice. They did share a few years of passionate sweetness, and Mu Ronghua even gave birth to an adorable daughter named Xueyao.
However, good times never last. Mu Ronghua’s temperament was hard, and he could not tolerate even a grain of sand in his eyes. Toward those who tried every means to get close to Ming Jiasheng, or those who wished to harm Ming Jiasheng, Mu Ronghua showed no mercy at all. His methods were ruthless.
So many eyes watched within the palace. Even the most secret acts still leaked whispers. People with ulterior motives seized upon every incident and spread embellished versions in secret. A dignified Crown Princess Consort ended up with the notorious nickname “Little Rakshasa” throughout court and common folk.
Ming Jiasheng did not truly approve of Mu Ronghua doing those things. He feared Mu Ronghua would make too many enemies and invite deep grudges. At that time, the two of them were already arguing constantly over major and minor matters. Even words meant to persuade him with good intentions came out wrong. Their language collided fiercely, and in the end, they parted on bad terms.
Mu Ronghua was never the type to lower his head first. Ming Jiasheng, born the favored child of heaven, carried an innate pride and aloofness in his bones. He had indulged Mu Ronghua and loved him before because their feelings were at their peak. Over time, the resentment Ming Jiasheng had quietly bottled up finally erupted.
Ming Jiasheng counted the days, waiting for Mu Ronghua to soften even once. Mu Ronghua, however, appeared calm. Every day he went to sit in the Empress Dowager’s palace for half the day, then returned to care for his daughter, read, write, and practice sword. He completely left Ming Jiasheng ignored to the side.
After nearly a month of stalemate, Ming Jiasheng was the one who could not endure it. He took the initiative to reconcile.
Mu Ronghua never expected that in Ming Jiasheng’s heart, this would become concrete evidence that Mu Ronghua did not truly love him.
Even as undercurrents churned in their relationship, the two still stumbled through six years together. Then Ming Jiasheng ascended the throne as Emperor, and Rong Hua was made Empress.
The previous two Empresses, one was the son of Lin Taishi, and one came from a military family. Beyond the Emperor’s exclusive favor, both had maternal clans to support and shelter them. Mu Ronghua alone, despite having Wangyue Manor, the greatest manor under heaven, had no foundation within the court. He stood alone on that high seat, buffeted by storms.
Half a year after being made Empress, one careless moment led to poison that damaged his body. The imperial physicians diagnosed that it would likely be difficult for him to bear children in the future. Mu Ronghua had never been easy to impregnate in the first place. After so many years married to Ming Jiasheng, he had only Princess Xueyao under his knee. With this added misfortune, how long would it take to have another? It might even become impossible forever.
Ming Jiasheng held out for half a year, using all manner of precious medicines to nourish and regulate Mu Ronghua’s body. Mu Ronghua’s belly never moved. In the end, Ming Jiasheng could not withstand the pressure of memorials from the officials, nor the awkward urgency of having no heir. He stopped waiting. He could not afford to wait. He began expanding the harem.
Promises are easy to make, and just as easy to break.
Mu Ronghua said nothing from start to finish.
On the day Ming Jiasheng welcomed a new consort, Mu Ronghua stayed quietly in Yongning Dian and never showed his face. That night, Ming Jiasheng came to see him and was turned away at the door.
After that, Mu Ronghua spent even more time in the Taiping Empress Dowager’s Ci’an Palace than in his own palace. Within the entire palace, only at the place of his imperial great-grandmother, who truly loved him, could he find the safety of something like home, so that he would not look as pitiful as outsiders thought.
Mu Ronghua would probably never learn to flatter or bow his head. The harem took in new consorts, yet he not only refused to scheme for Ming Jiasheng’s heart, he grew even colder. Each time Ming Jiasheng hit a wall with him, the guilt he felt at first gradually turned into agitation and annoyance.
Imperial sons were born. The consorts spoke softly and sweetly, understanding and considerate. Soaked in tenderness, Ming Jiasheng’s heart was pleased. He did not want to go to Yongning Dian and swallow anger that would sour his mood. Little by little, he came less and less.
In just a few years after ascending the throne, Ming Jiasheng had imperial dignity but also imperial callousness.
The promises he once made to Mu Ronghua had already scattered into drifting clouds. Even after several imperial sons were born, new beauties still entered one after another. The small fragment of shame Ming Jiasheng still carried toward Mu Ronghua was nearly worn down to nothing under that increasingly icy attitude.
The entire harem was a scene of open laughter and hidden struggle, vicious beyond measure. Only Yongning Dian remained like deep autumn and bitter winter day after day, cold and desolate. Even the newest, lowest-ranked concubines understood that the current Empress did not enjoy imperial favor. In public and in secret, they dared to mock and belittle him.
Then once, a beauty, leaning on her current favor, spoke rudely to the Empress. Ming Jiasheng happened to hear it. He turned around and granted her three chi of white silk, ordering her execution.
Only then did the harem fall silent in fear. They behaved for a time, going daily to Yongning Dian to pay respects to the Empress. Later, Ming Jiasheng still only went to Yongning Dian on the first and fifteenth of each month as a formality, sitting briefly before leaving. He did not show special warmth to the Empress. The others were puzzled, yet for now, none of them dared to act out in front of the Empress again.
Rong Hua went blank for a moment, then suddenly let out a soft laugh. “He said he loved me for being willful, dazzling, and fierce. Still, he was also the first to grow sick of that same me. Jingyang, tell me… is he pathetic or am I pathetic?”
Su Jingyang’s nose stung, and tears nearly spilled from his eyes. He truly could not imagine how someone with Rong Hua’s temperament had endured in that deep palace. He also understood why, even after losing his memories of the past life, Rong Hua still kept crying whenever he saw Ling Li. Ling Li was probably the only warmth Rong Hua ever received inside the palace. Even if the mind could not remember, the heart could.
At some point, Ming Jiasheng rushed into the room. His eyes were shot through with red veins, his chest heaving hard. He stared obsessively at Rong Hua’s face, his voice hoarse beyond recognition. “Rong Hua…”
Rong Ci flicked him a cold glance and snapped out a hidden weapon, sealing Ming Jiasheng’s acupoints. Ming Jiasheng’s approaching steps froze instantly, unable to move.
Rong Hua seemed not to hear Ming Jiasheng at all. He treated him as if he did not exist and continued, “Once, I fell gravely ill and was bedridden. For some reason, his conscience finally acted up. He came often, concerned and attentive. After that, he slowly seemed to recover a little of the affection he once had for me. I suppose… he had tasted enough of warm fragrance and soft jade, and then came to me to find something ‘fresh.’”
Ming Jiasheng, stiff at the side, heard this and his pupils shrank violently. His entire body trembled uncontrollably. Veins bulged on his handsome face as he stared toward Rong Hua. His throat forced out harsh, strangled sounds, as if desperate to speak, yet with his acupoints sealed, his face turned purple and he could not squeeze out a single syllable.
Rong Hua gave a scornful, low laugh. “Xueyao suffered endless neglect in the palace because of me. My heart ached for her. I finally stopped insisting and took the chance to restrain my temper a little, playing along with him for a while. I did not expect that while he clung to his consorts, he would truly ‘generously’ spare some attention for me. I was simply overwhelmed by such favor.”
Su Jingyang’s head hurt until it felt like it was splitting. He sighed quietly. Rong Hua should never have entered the palace in the first place. That place was not his home. As Rong Hua himself said, it was an abyss. Once you step in, there is no turning back.
Sometimes, however, the world does not let people choose.
“I thought things between him and me would be like that forever. I did not ask for anything else. I only wanted peace, so Xueyao could grow up properly and marry, and it would be best if she could leave the palace. Still…” Rong Hua’s eyes suddenly flooded. His face turned pale and fragile, and Su Jingyang could not bear to look.
Rong Hua’s voice trembled. “Still, I only truly saw his face after being married to him for over ten years!”
Once, Mu Ronghua went out to the Yuhuayuan for some air. He saw an ordinary-looking guard captain. Mu Ronghua felt a faint familiarity yet could not place it. Later, the man was transferred outside Yongning Dian to serve as a guard.
Mu Ronghua deliberately went in and out for several days just to see him. The more he looked, the more alarmed he became. In the end, he used a trick to lure the man inside the hall and exposed him with ease.
As Mu Ronghua had suspected, the guard captain was Lin Que in disguise!
Under relentless questioning, Mu Ronghua learned Lin Que had already infiltrated the palace three years ago, inching closer to him step by step. Lin Que said he only wanted to see him and protect him.
Mu Ronghua could not understand the meaning of such a move. He found it ridiculous and hateful.
Mu Ronghua coldly ordered him to leave. Lin Que said that if he was driven away, he would immediately go confess his identity to Ming Jiasheng and die. Mu Ronghua knew Lin Que’s temperament. If he said it, he would do it. Mu Ronghua was furious and refused to be threatened. He still told him to get lost. Lin Que did not argue. He turned and walked straight toward Qinzhen Palace, where Ming Jiasheng handled state affairs.
In the end, Mu Ronghua sent people to intercept him halfway. From that day on, Mu Ronghua tacitly allowed Lin Que’s existence, yet the two never spoke and lived like strangers.
Two years later, an incident of the Crown Prince being poisoned led Ming Jiasheng, in a moment of anger, to suspect Mu Ronghua. He even placed Mu Ronghua under soft confinement for several days.
Mu Ronghua ultimately proved his innocence, but the fragile surface harmony between the two could never be maintained again.
Mu Ronghua drank in bitterness inside the hall, heart dead as ash. Lin Que suddenly slipped in, eyes red, and said with absolute certainty that he was taking Mu Ronghua away, out of the palace. Mu Ronghua, of course, refused to acknowledge the person who had once betrayed him.
Lin Que had silently watched over him for so many years. He knew Mu Ronghua had never been happy. The person who had once been willful, carefree, and dazzling was now drowned in grievances, able only to drink cup after cup. Not a trace of a smile remained in his gloomy brows and eyes.
Lin Que could no longer endure it. He told Mu Ronghua the truth from back then.
He had not been unfaithful and married someone else. Ming Jiasheng had planted a “severing-love gu” in him. After the gu took hold, all love and desire would be erased into nothing. Even the person afflicted could not detect anything unusual. The deeper you loved, the faster you forgot.
After Mu Ronghua left with the wounded Ming Jiasheng, Lin Que did not continue the wedding rites. He stood there in a daze for a long time. Suddenly, his face went deathly pale. He vomited blood and fainted.
Lin Que only felt as if something inside his heart had been hollowed out, yet he could not find the reason. He was lost. He left the Demonic Sect and wandered the four seas alone. He remembered Mu Ronghua as a person. Sometimes his heart would throb with pain, but he believed he had long since severed feelings and cut love away from him.
Finally, by sheer chance, he met a friend from the Wu Clan. Only then did he learn he had been gu-poisoned.
The one who planted it did so viciously, using three at once, swearing to ensure he would never remember this love for all eternity!
Lin Que’s friend spent five years removing them one by one. The emotions that had been forcibly buried in a corner surged back like mountains collapsing and seas roaring. Lin Que finally remembered everything!
By then… everything was too late.
Lin Que disguised himself and infiltrated the palace as a guard. From time to time, he could see Rong Hua’s figure from afar. Lin Que knew the matter was already settled and could not be changed. At the start, he only wanted to spend the rest of his life like this, stealing a single glimpse when he could.
Rong Hua’s life as Empress, however, was truly miserable. Ming Jiasheng seized him through any means necessary yet never cherished him.
After years of endurance, Lin Que finally could not hold himself back after Rong Hua was framed this time. He told him the truth and tried to take him away.
Mu Ronghua could not believe he had been deceived by Ming Jiasheng for so many years. The more laughable part was that he had fallen in love with that liar!
Mu Ronghua broke down and exchanged a few sharp words with Lin Que, who had already made up his mind to take him away.
In the midst of their entanglement, Ming Jiasheng suddenly stormed in. He carried a chill rage that seeped into the bones, his expression terrifying as he kicked the door open with a longsword in hand.
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