No… It Wasn’t!
The day Ling Li gets married will be the key moment that would decide whether Su Jingyang could return home. He had thought the following days would feel unbearably long and torturous. The reality, however, was not like that at all.
Every morning, he woke up and ate breakfast with Rong Ci. Rong Ci would head out for a while, while Su Jingyang stayed home to play with the two children, listening to their babbling attempts at speech and coaxing their laughter. Half a day passed easily before he even noticed.
Rong Ci always returned before noon. From then on, he stayed glued to Su Jingyang’s side. The two chatted and bickered, and the afternoon slipped away just as quietly. At night, after coaxing the children to sleep, they held each other and rested as well.
Days passed in the blink of an eye, and soon enough, the day of the Empress’s coronation arrived.
While eating breakfast that morning, Su Jingyang kept glancing at Rong Ci. His gaze was far too obvious. Rong Ci noticed early on. After watching him for a moment, he set down his chopsticks, leaned closer, and asked leisurely, “Did you only realize today that I’m good-looking? You’ve been staring the whole time.”
Su Jingyang’s mouth twitched. Staring at that strikingly handsome face so close at hand, he abruptly turned away and refused to look. While mixing side dishes into his porridge, he snorted insincerely, “No matter how good-looking you are, seeing you every day gets old.”
Rong Ci spoke slowly, “If you’re tired of looking, then why do you poke my eyelashes with your fingers when I haven’t opened my eyes yet, kiss my face, and keep burrowing into my arms…”
Su Jingyang’s heart skipped, but his expression remained steady. He cut him off with a scoff. “What kind of dream are you having in broad daylight? Who kissed you? Who touched you?”
A faint curve appeared at Rong Ci’s lips as he looked at him, smiling. Light glimmered in his dark eyes, dazzlingly alive. “I hadn’t even mentioned you touching me yet. You confessed on your own.”
“……” Su Jingyang glared at him furiously. After a long pause, he stirred the barely touched porridge with his spoon and said, “Come back earlier today and stay with me. I’m bored at home.”
“All right, I’ll try,” Rong Ci replied. Sitting upright again, he took a white cloth and wiped his hands. “Once the children are a little older, I’ll take you out. You can go anywhere you want. Visiting Ling Li in Jincheng would be fine too.”
Su Jingyang’s hand paused. He lowered his eyes and took a sip of porridge, replying vaguely, “The children growing up will take a long time. We’ll talk about it later.”
Rong Ci reached out and rubbed his hair, his voice gentle. “Eat a bit more. I’m heading out.”
As Rong Ci stood and left, Su Jingyang turned back and said, “Come back soon.” Rong Ci had already taken a few steps when he heard the lingering reluctance in that sentence. He turned back, bent down, kissed Su Jingyang’s lips, brushed his fingers across his cheek, gave him a soft look, and only then truly left.
…He did not even mind that Su Jingyang had not wiped his mouth.
Su Jingyang watched the direction he left for a long time before finally withdrawing his gaze.
Less than a quarter of an hour after Rong Ci left, the nursemaid hurried over with Ah Xi in her arms, saying his body felt hot. Su Jingyang startled, took the listless child, and touched his forehead. Without a thermometer, he still estimated the temperature to be above thirty-eight degrees.
Su Jingyang immediately sent someone to fetch Li Yin and then checked on Ah Yu as well. Fortunately, Ah Yu was not feverish. He babbled nonstop, his bright eyes blinking energetically, no different from usual.
Su Jingyang let out a small breath of relief. At least the two were not sick at the same time.
After examining Ah Xi, Li Yin said medicine was not needed for now. He advised frequent warm baths instead. Su Jingyang understood. It was physical cooling. Li Yin did not leave and stayed in the side hall of Shuitian Yise so he could check again at any time.
Su Jingyang had Ah Yu moved to another room to avoid infection. He did not let the servants handle it. He personally bathed Ah Xi and changed his clothes. After the bath, Ah Xi’s temperature dropped slightly, and his spirits improved.
Holding the child close with a heart full of pain, Su Jingyang watched as Ah Xi slowly opened his eyes in his arms. Those beautiful, clear eyes were wet and glossy. He looked at Su Jingyang. Su Jingyang smiled at him. Ah Xi’s little mouth moved, and he suddenly called out in a soft, milky voice, “Baba.”
The child’s voice was light and tender, brimming with attachment. Su Jingyang felt as if something slammed violently into his chest, leaving behind an aching soreness.
He lowered his head and kissed Ah Xi’s warm cheek. Ah Xi called out “Baba” again and reached for him. Su Jingyang held his tiny hand, and Ah Xi revealed his little white baby teeth in a smile.
Noticing Ah Xi’s lips were dry from the fever, Su Jingyang hurriedly fed him some warm water.
Before long, Ah Xi’s temperature climbed again. He grew listless, eyes half-open, lying motionless in Su Jingyang’s arms.
On ordinary days, Su Jingyang sometimes found the children too noisy. At moments like this, when they were so weak and quiet, he wished desperately that they would fuss and cry instead.
He bathed Ah Xi once more. Ah Xi leaned weakly against him and fell asleep. Su Jingyang stared at the tiny figure, a lump lodged painfully in his throat. Such a small little being, unable to speak or express discomfort when sick, could only rely on him and call out softly, as if he were his entire world.
Su Jingyang realized that this kind of reliance was a lethal weapon to him. It could make him collapse in an instant. The feeling stirred a faint panic deep in his heart.
He laid the child on the bed, placed a cool towel on his forehead, and replaced it frequently. Rong Ci had just returned when the nursemaid rushed in again, now carrying Ah Yu. “Furen, City Lord, the eldest young master is getting hot too!”
…Did twins really have to be this synchronized?
Su Jingyang’s chest hurt.
Together with Rong Ci, he personally cared for the two feverish children. His thoughts were in complete disarray, so much so that he almost forgot the important matter of the day entirely.
Only after noon, when the progress bar suddenly began to climb rapidly, did Su Jingyang’s eyes widen. He slowly straightened up, completely stunned.
The towel he had just wrung out fell back into the basin with a splash.
Rong Ci turned to look at him. Seeing his dazed state, he stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. “If you’re tired, rest for a while. I can watch the children.”
Su Jingyang only snapped out of it after hearing Rong Ci’s voice. His breathing trembled slightly as he looked at him. After a moment, he shook his head. “I’m fine. I just spaced out a bit.”
After placing the cool towel back on the child’s forehead, Su Jingyang sat at the bedside, lowering his eyes as he waited restlessly for the progress bar to finish loading.
After a long while, he suddenly looked up, disbelief filling his eyes.
No… it wasn’t! Ling Li and Ming Zhan were not the protagonists!
The progress bar stopped after rising to 10.8%!
Still… still…
Su Jingyang stood up in agitation and paced back and forth a few steps. Confusion flooded him. If Ling Li was not the protagonist, why did he gain energy today?
What was the cause? A heart knot? A wish? A blessed marriage?
Marriage. Yes. Ling Li married today. It had to be related to that.
Yet he had not participated in pushing Ling Li and Ming Zhan together. Why would he gain energy? That did not align with what the system had said.
A flash of white light burst through his mind. His soul shuddered violently. His steps halted abruptly, silent shock rippling through his dark eyes.
Ling Li’s scalding, grief-stricken tears that night when he was drunk. The calm-looking smile when he denied it afterward. The farewell that felt like a final severing…
A possibility surfaced in Su Jingyang’s mind, and enormous waves crashed through his heart.
That night, weighed down by worry and drunk, he must have said something to Ling Li. Thus, Ling Li knew everything. In order to let him return home, he chose to enter the palace and be with Ming Zhan!
Because today’s marriage was something he had indirectly brought about, he gained energy!
The more he thought about it, the more this explanation felt unavoidable. His face drained of color.
Thinking back, Ling Li had fabricated countless reasons to reassure him, claiming ambition and personal choice. Su Jingyang had sensed something off even then. It did not sound like him. Only now did he understand. Ling Li had done everything for him.
With the future completely unknown, Ling Li had resolutely taken his child and stepped into the palace for his sake.
Su Jingyang’s eyes reddened uncontrollably. Guilt made his heart bleed. He truly deserved death. He had noticed something wrong back then and yet failed to pursue it. Now Ming Zhan treated Ling Li well, but what if he had not? What if things were not as Ming Jiasheng said? Wouldn’t pushing Ling Li onto this path make him the true culprit?
Everything was because of him.
Su Jingyang lost his strength and collapsed onto the edge of the bed. His heart felt as heavy as a mountain, leaving him struggling to breathe. Ling Li had borne all of this for him, while he remained foolishly unaware.
Su Jingyang felt utterly despicable.
“Where do you feel unwell?” Rong Ci touched his forehead, then grasped his hand, frowning. “You’re drenched in cold sweat. Your hands are freezing.”
Rong Ci ordered someone to summon Li Yin. Su Jingyang’s lips moved weakly when he heard it. “I’m fine. There’s no need. I’ll be better after sitting for a while.”
Rong Ci stared at his pale face and the look of tears barely held back. “Does this look like you’re fine?”
Su Jingyang murmured, “I… really am fine.”
From the start, he had placed ninety-nine percent of his hopes on Ling Li and Ming Zhan. Now everything had veered far beyond his expectations. Failing to receive ninety percent energy was no longer the biggest blow. The near certainty of his suspicion was drowning him in guilt.
His chest ached unbearably. If the children were not still sick, he wanted to depart for Jincheng immediately, to see Ling Li and say he was sorry. At this point, however, apologies could not undo anything.
Rong Ci paused, his tone gentler. “Let Li Yin come check the children and you as well, all right?”
Su Jingyang said nothing more. He quietly met Rong Ci’s gaze for a moment, his lips moving in a soundless sigh.
Rong Ci knew Su Jingyang had always concealed certain things, secrets he would never be able to uncover. Sensing something wrong yet unable to grasp the cause, irritation quietly stirred in his heart at the lack of control.
Suddenly, Rong Ci tightened his grip on Su Jingyang’s wrist, locking eyes with him as he asked in a low voice, “Are you about to leave?”
Caught off guard by his keen intuition, Su Jingyang froze briefly. Then he smiled softly. “No. I promised you I’d tell you ahead of time if I was going to leave.”
Rong Ci’s grip tightened further, his gaze deepening. “Do not break your word.”
Su Jingyang met his eyes squarely. “I won’t.”
Rong Ci studied him for a long time before finally relaxing, lifting Su Jingyang’s hand and pressing a kiss to it.
Su Jingyang stared back in silence. He could not leave yet. He truly could not leave yet. Whoever the protagonist was in this world, he was now trapped in endless confusion. Strangely, upon realizing he could not return home for the time being, the despair was not as overwhelming as he had imagined. Perhaps it was because he had already prepared himself for this possibility.
The children’s fevers rose and fell for three days before finally breaking. Their once chubby little faces visibly thinned. Though their features looked even more delicate afterward, Su Jingyang’s heart ached terribly. To him, babies needed a bit of plumpness to be healthy.
That noon, after the children had just fallen asleep, Su Jingyang went to the desk and sat properly. When Rong Ci asked what he was doing, Su Jingyang held his brush without lifting his head. “I’m writing a letter to Ling Li.”
Guilt gnawed at him, but he was not foolish. His suspicions and apologies could never be written in the letter. If Ming Zhan saw it, everything would be ruined.
Suppressing the turmoil in his heart, he wrote only words of inquiry and care. At the end, he mentioned visiting Jincheng once the children turned one year old.
As the ink dried, someone sent by the Grand Shaman arrived with urgent news. Rong Hua had suddenly fainted.
Su Jingyang exchanged a glance with Rong Ci. They stood at once, instructed the nursemaids to watch the children carefully, and headed out together.
By the time they reached Rong Hua’s chamber, he had already woken. He sat leaning against the bed, dressed only in snow-white inner robes. His black hair lay in disarray behind him. His gaze drifted unfocused through the air, emptiness filling his eyes, his entire being eerily silent.
“…Rong Hua?” Su Jingyang stepped closer and called his name cautiously.
Earlier, when he and Rong Ci arrived, they saw Ming Jiasheng standing rigidly outside, grief weighing heavily over him. He had not entered.
Hearing Su Jingyang’s voice, Rong Hua’s motionless dark eyes slowly shifted toward him and Rong Ci.
Su Jingyang felt tense. “Rong Hua, you…”
“You’re here,” Rong Hua said, emotionless.
He stepped barefoot off the bed, swaying slightly as he passed Su Jingyang. He grabbed a wine flask from the table, took a swig, walked to the daybed and lay down, then took two more gulps from the jug.
Su Jingyang moved to stop him, but Rong Ci held him back with a look, signaling him not to interfere.
Rong Hua did not drink further. One arm hugged the flask, the other rested behind his head. Moist light shimmered in his eyes as he spoke with faint wistfulness. “Since you’re already here… I’ll tell you a story. That way, your trip won’t be wasted.”
Su Jingyang hesitated, then crouched beside him on one knee. “Rong Hua, did you… remember something?”
“Yes. Everything that should be remembered has returned. I won’t be deceived,” Rong Hua said, turning his face toward him. “Do you want to hear it? It might be boring. I’m afraid you’ll fall asleep.”
He let out a soft, self-mocking laugh. Su Jingyang glanced toward the doorway. Ming Jiasheng had closed his eyes, his figure looking unsteady.
Frowning slightly, Su Jingyang withdrew his gaze and looked back at Rong Hua. Rong Hua had already begun to speak, his tone flat and even, as though recounting someone else’s story.
Rong Ci stood while Su Jingyang crouched. Both listened in silence.
As the eldest grandson of Wangyue Mountain Manor, Mu Ronghua had been cherished by his entire family since birth. That indulgence shaped a domineering and uncompromising temperament. At fourteen, through a twist of fate, he met Lin Que, the son of the Demonic Sect. They clashed at first, then found unexpected harmony. Mu Ronghua was blazing fire, while Lin Que was cold ice. Together, they were astonishingly compatible, as though born to complete each other.
After a year of knowing each other, the two became lovers. They loved for four years and endured obstruction for four years.
The resistance came from Mu Ronghua’s father, Mu Yun. He refused, at all costs, to allow Mu Ronghua and Lin Que to be together.
It was not merely because Lin Que belonged to the Demonic Sect. The deeper reason was that the Lin family itself was abnormal. Lin Que’s father, Lin Zhao, had never been born naturally. His mother, sick with despair while pregnant, jumped from a building and died. Lin Zhao was cut out from his mother’s womb by a divine physician and survived.
Even more sinister was that Lin Que’s mother, pregnant with him, also leapt from a building due to depression. Lin Que, too, was cut from the womb and barely saved.
Father and son shared the same eerie fate. Fearing for his beloved son, Mu Yun was terrified that if Mu Ronghua married Lin Que, he would be cursed by the same evil destiny. He tried every method to separate them, even imprisoning Mu Ronghua in a sealed chamber for nearly three months. He injured Lin Que multiple times when he came seeking him and turned Lin Zhao into an enemy, all to sever the bond completely.
Mu Ronghua, however, had grown up admiring his grandparents’ unwavering devotion. He longed for such a love. He wanted to love and hate boldly, just like his grandmother. He could not forget Lin Que, nor was he someone who yielded easily.
After countless struggles, with his grandmother’s help, he finally escaped the chamber and fled home.
At this point, Rong Hua’s eyes darkened. After a long pause, he continued slowly, “Then, on my way to find Lin Que, I met someone. Someone who… led me into the abyss from which I could never return..”
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