If It’s You, Then It’s Fine
“Are you f*cking sick in the head?! Was all this really necessary?! Huh???”
“You anti-human trash, brain-dead scum, freakish monster, f*cking psycho!!!”
“Just wait. One day, I’ll completely wipe you out, down to the last scrap, so you’ll never harm this world again!”
“Come out! Get your a*s out here! You piece of dog sh*t thing! No, calling you a dog would be an insult to dogs. You piece of sh*t, come out! Argue with me! What are you hiding for, you dumb f*ck!”
No matter how earth-shaking Su Jingyang’s cursing was, the system only let out a cold snort of laughter and then ignored him entirely.
Just like before, Rong Ci lost all conscious control not long after entering the dream. While Su Jingyang was still furiously cursing, Rong Ci’s arms had already wrapped around him.
Su Jingyang did not resist Rong Ci at all, but he despised this place to the extreme. He did not want to do this kind of thing with him here. Unfortunately, nothing was up to him anymore.
When Rong Ci entered his body, slow yet unyielding, Su Jingyang no longer had the energy to curse the system. In that instant, he wanted to scream at the heavens, at the earth, at his ancestors! None of it would help, however. He could only grit his teeth and endure it.
The only small comfort was knowing exactly who the man in the darkness was. Unlike before, his heart was no longer filled with panic and suffocating dread.
Rong Ci could not control his actions, but his will remained strong. He vaguely understood what was happening. After doing it with Su Jingyang once, he forcibly restrained himself and stopped. After a brief moment, the two of them returned to the bed.
Candlelight flickered in the room. Rong Ci opened his eyes and looked at the silent Su Jingyang in his arms. Su Jingyang lifted his gaze to meet his, brows drooping, looking deeply troubled.
They had just been intimate, yet neither spoke. The atmosphere stiffened.
After this interruption, neither of them had any desire left. Rong Ci let out a soundless sigh and reached over to drape Su Jingyang’s clothes over him. Su Jingyang’s origins were secrets that even hypnosis techniques could not glimpse. Asking once had already caused him to cough blood. Rong Ci knew the strange spring dreams were likely connected to Su Jingyang, but he had never dared to ask. He feared causing him harm again.
Rong Ci had thought the strange dream would end and be done with. He never expected to be dragged in again today without any warning.
He pressed a kiss to Su Jingyang’s forehead, gazing quietly into his eyes as he asked softly, “Can you tell me the reason for this?”
Su Jingyang flicked his damp dark eyes toward him. Rong Ci had asked whether he could say it, not whether he wanted to. That meant Rong Ci already understood the dream was caused by him and had also guessed that he was unable to speak freely about it.
After some thought, Su Jingyang decided not to tell him. Telling him would be useless. The system existed beyond this world. Even if Rong Ci was the clan leader of the Wu people, there would be no way to defeat it.
Letting him know would only add another person to the list of those troubled by it. Besides… besides, he was leaving soon anyway. There was no need to add more burdens.
Su Jingyang answered vaguely, “I’m not very clear myself. I can’t really explain it.”
Rong Ci took it as reluctance, something that truly could not be spoken. His brow furrowed. “Will this keep happening? You don’t like that place.”
Su Jingyang pulled the thin quilt over both of them and leaned further into his arms, his voice low. “I don’t like it there. It’s pitch-black and suffocating. Still… if it’s you, then it’s fine.”
Rong Ci froze slightly and lowered his gaze to him. Su Jingyang had already closed his eyes, refusing to look at him. A faint flush from their passion still lingered on his cheeks as he muttered, “Sleep, sleep, sleep. I’m tired.”
Rong Ci pressed a kiss to his still-warm cheek and pulled him tightly into his embrace. “Sleep then.”
For several days afterward, Su Jingyang kept checking the mole in his palm. Thankfully, its color did not change, which finally let him breathe easier. At the same time, that meant he still had to face the next dream.
Knowing how much Su Jingyang disliked that place, Rong Ci engraved this awareness deep into his subconscious. Each time after doing it once, he would bring him back.
Another month passed in anxious vigilance. Every five days, the dream would unlock once, then they would return to the bed. After that, Su Jingyang would say he wanted to sleep and stop there. He felt deeply sorry toward Rong Ci but was also tormented. He was about to leave and was terrified of getting pregnant again. If his body carried another life from this world, he would never be able to leave. Fortunately, Rong Ci always indulged him. When he said he was tired, Rong Ci let him sleep without forcing him.
From Rong Ci, Su Jingyang learned that everything on Ming Jiasheng’s side had been settled. He also heard that Ming Jiasheng had been kneeling outside the Grand Shaman’s main hall day after day, while Rong Hua remained in closed cultivation and refused to see him.
Su Jingyang went to look once. Ming Jiasheng stood guard at the hall entrance, unmoving, his whole body steeped in stillness, like a stone statue. The Grand Shaman’s hall was not like other places. Barging in would lead to serious consequences. No matter how impatient he was, he could only wait outside.
Watching from afar, Su Jingyang could not help asking Rong Ci beside him, “Is Rong Hua in seclusion to recover memories from his previous life?”
“Yes,” Rong Ci replied. “Rong Hua does not want to hear anything about himself from Ming Jiasheng. He worries there will be omissions. He wants to remember everything on his own and then decide.”
Su Jingyang sighed softly at that. Rong Ci turned to him. “What is it?”
“I feel like, whether Rong Hua remembers or not, Ming Jiasheng is probably doomed,” Su Jingyang said. Even without knowing the full story between them, Rong Hua’s personality was too absolute. Love and hatred both ran to extremes. If Ming Jiasheng truly betrayed him in the past, Rong Hua would most likely never turn back.
Even if he wanted Rong Hua to turn back, it would be a long and arduous process.
After a pause, Su Jingyang asked, “Will Rong Hua really remember? How long will the seclusion last?”
“Perhaps another month. Perhaps never.”
Su Jingyang would rather Rong Hua never remember. Who would want to recall painful memories? Unfortunately, given Rong Hua’s personality, that was unlikely. He needed the truth, even if that truth would make his heart bleed and shatter.
To be honest, Su Jingyang admired Rong Hua’s courage to face things head-on.
With no progress on Rong Hua’s side, Su Jingyang temporarily focused all his attention on the children and Rong Ci. Rong Ci had also wrapped up his urgent matters. Aside from his daily inspections of the outer river formation, he spent all his remaining time with Su Jingyang. When the weather was pleasant, they took the children out for walks. The family of four lived a fairly comfortable life.
Peaceful days passed one after another. About half a month later, Su Jingyang received news from Jincheng through Rong Ci.
“…What? The coronation is at the end of the month?” Su Jingyang froze. It felt as if something pierced his chest, an abrupt, sharp pain.
If it was the end of the month, only a few days remained.
He had not expected Ming Zhan to move so quickly. It was over a month earlier than he had anticipated. Su Jingyang could only guess that the palace had long been prepared, simply waiting for Ah Li’s return.
Holding the child who was still wriggling in his arms, Su Jingyang slowly withdrew his stunned gaze, lowered his eyes, and sat there without speaking.
Rong Ci watched him closely and soon sensed something was off. “I’ve checked everything. It’s proceeding exactly as Ming Jiasheng said. Ming Zhan has had Ling Li acknowledge the Grand Preceptor Lin as his father and rename himself Lin Li. Ah Xuan has been named Crown Prince. The Lin family will certainly protect them. Isn’t this good? Aren’t you happy for them?”
“I am,” Su Jingyang said, forcing a smile. “Ah Li becoming empress and Ah Xuan becoming crown prince are wonderful things. Of course I’m happy.” His voice, however, was rough despite his efforts.
Suddenly, Ah Yu peed, soaking Su Jingyang’s clothes. A large patch was quickly damp. Ah Yu sucked on his little hand, looking utterly clueless. Su Jingyang kissed his cheek and muttered, “You little thing, peeing on me again.” He did not call the nursemaids and instead stood up to change the diaper himself.
Rong Ci stared at his deliberately turned back. Hearing that faint, almost imperceptible sigh, his dark eyes narrowed slightly. His expression turned contemplative. Something about Su Jingyang’s reaction felt… strange.
Author’s Note:
I’m not really going to make him give birth to ten.
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