City Lord Rong, After All These Years, You’ve Only Grown More Impressive
If Su Jingyang’s feelings about Xiang Cao’s situation were regret and remorse for having been “one step too late,” then when it came to Lu Qian’s choice, what Su Jingyang felt was a profound powerlessness.
Lu Qian had already been depressed, convinced that by falling in love with Lin Jia he had betrayed Gao Zhanfei. Raised in a completely different environment, Lin Jia thought in ways entirely unlike his. He likely never imagined that Lu Qian would abandon him and choose death. He truly believed what Lu Qian had said, thinking that if he obediently went to the kitchen and steamed ten rabbit buns, Lu Qian would forgive him. Early that morning, he excitedly dragged the inn attendant out of bed to help prepare the flour.
Gao Zhanfei’s death, Lin Jia’s misjudgment, and Lu Qian’s sensitivity and overthinking had already sealed it, there was never going to be a good ending.
Su Jingyang had been stopped by Rong Ci that day and never got to see Lu Qian one last time. After he learned that Lu Qian had heard the truth, right before dying, about why Gao Zhanfei had approached him back then, Su Jingyang could no longer suppress the sharp pain in his chest.
How shocked and despairing must Lu Qian have been? Those beautiful memories and that time in his heart, the kind of thing not even Lin Jia could destroy, turned out to be nothing but a malicious deception! He had abandoned the one who loved him for the sake of the person who deceived him, and he was about to end his own life and his child’s life, with no way to undo it. It was too cruel.
Su Jingyang ran a high fever for several days. Ling Li silently helped by simmering medicine and cooking porridge, while all the close-in care was done by Rong Ci. On the first day, Su Jingyang was so feverish and muddled that he accidentally threw up all over Rong Ci. When he remembered later, he felt awful about it, but Rong Ci never mentioned it and kept taking care of him.
Su Jingyang drifted in and out of consciousness, sleeping and waking intermittently. One time, when he opened his eyes and saw Rong Ci at his bedside again, changing the cold compress towel on his forehead, he couldn’t help saying, “Ah Yi, you should go... I’m really not a good person. I won’t remember your kindness to me. Don’t waste your effort.”
Rong Ci didn’t respond to that at all. Seeing that Su Jingyang looked much more alert than before, Rong Ci stared at him with those dark eyes for a long moment, then suddenly asked in a low voice, “Su Jingyang, I’m asking you. You always like pushing other people together. Is there some special reason?”
Su Jingyang’s heart jumped. He stared blankly at Rong Ci. A moment later, he finally avoided Rong Ci’s gaze and said hoarsely, “What reason could there be? Do you even need to ask? I was born loving to meddle in other people’s business.”
However, Rong Ci didn’t believe him. He had always had a feeling that Su Jingyang was trying hard to remain apart from this world, yet he kept getting dragged into it anyway, as if he had to complete some specific task. It wasn’t as simple as meddling.
He also hadn’t found any trace on Su Jingyang of being cursed or afflicted with gu.
Rong Ci asked, “Before this, did anything unusual happen to you? Or do you have some hardship you can’t talk about...”
“No, no, no!! Nothing at all! I just like meddling, stop asking! Go away!! I’m awake, I don’t need you taking care of me.” Su Jingyang knew Rong Ci was asking out of concern, yet being pressed like this made him feel even more flustered and irritated. He yanked the blanket over himself, turned his back, and stopped talking.
Wrapped in the blanket, Su Jingyang exhaled several heavy breaths of hot air, forcing down the turmoil in his chest. He quickly realized he’d gone too far by yelling at Rong Ci.
Su Jingyang pricked up his ears and listened for a long while, yet he didn’t hear footsteps leaving. After hesitating, he poked his head out of the blanket and turned to look, only to find Rong Ci leaning his head lightly against the bedframe, eyes closed. There was a shadow beneath his eyes, as if he’d fallen asleep. Even asleep, that face was still full of cold severity.
Su Jingyang pulled the cold towel off his own head, climbed up from the bed, and watched him silently for a long moment. In the end, he dragged over a thin quilt from the inside of the bed and gently draped it over Rong Ci.
Rong Ci heard the movement of Su Jingyang lying back down. He lifted his eyes and looked at the messy, sticking-up hair on the back of Su Jingyang’s head facing him, and the corner of his tightly pressed lips curved up slightly.
Once Su Jingyang’s fever finally broke, Xu Mei and Mu Jin also had time to visit him. Xu Mei had heard about Lu Qian and sighed with emotion. He wanted to take Su Jingyang out to clear his head, yet Su Jingyang wasn’t in the mood. He also didn’t want to disturb a newlywed couple’s enjoyment, so he smiled and said he’d just recovered from a serious illness and wasn’t suited for going out.
Xu Mei had no choice. After chatting with him for a bit, he left with Mu Jin.
Su Jingyang wasn’t so sick that he would lose his sense. He remembered what night it was. He didn’t let Rong Ci take care of him, and he didn’t let Ling Li stay with him either. Ling Li knew Su Jingyang had to sleep alone every few days. He was still worried, yet he didn’t insist. When it was time to sleep, he led Ah Xuan away.
Rong Ci stayed a little longer. His gaze was locked on Su Jingyang’s face, and he didn’t seem to want to leave. In the end, Su Jingyang got out of bed and pushed him out step by step.
It was the same familiar dream again. Su Jingyang could actually move, yet it was as if he had lost the desire to do so. He lay there like a corpse, expression numb, letting that person press close.
In fact, in the recent period, that guy in the dream didn’t cling to him for as long as at the start. Usually it ended after two rounds. However, something snapped that night. Not only were the movements more intense, but it also dragged on until after midnight before he finally stopped albeit reluctantly. Afterward, he held Su Jingyang and kissed him for a long time.
When someone who had clearly resisted suddenly turned abnormal, Su Jingyang could only guess that person had either lost his willpower and surrendered to the system’s control, or else... he was imagining Su Jingyang as someone else.
After Su Jingyang returned to his own bed, he slept in exhaustion. Even asleep, that scorching agitation in his chest kept burning. He truly felt pathetic and tragic!
He had another dream. No, to be precise, it was the system playing tricks, directly transmitting into his mind some cases it had once received. Those painful, real scenes replayed in his head without end.
There were people endlessly beaten and abused at home, yet not everyone was like Xiang Cao, who finally rose up in decisive rebellion. There were people coldly thrown out for being unable to bear children, yet not everyone was as lucky as Xu Mei, who could meet Mu Jin. There were people deceived in love and tricked into marriage, carrying a belly as they jumped from a building in despair, ending in bleak tragedy just like Lu Qian...
There were also the victims’ hysterical screams, shrieks, and sobbing, and cruel scenes of suicide by jumping, drowning, and cutting wrists, all crossing and tangling in his mind without pause. This dream was filled with a suffocating aura of despair. Su Jingyang felt his whole body heavy, sinking downward. His eyes were shut tight, sweat soaking him. He wanted to wake up, but couldn’t.
The voices in his head changed again into onlookers’ chatter and mockery. “If you’re getting beaten, why don’t you beat back? You deserve it!” “If you can’t give birth, who’s to blame? What hen doesn’t lay eggs?” “It’s your fault for being stupid and blind. You didn’t open your eyes and look carefully before getting married, and you even dragged a child down with you! Selfish ghost!!”
Su Jingyang was furious. He wanted to argue back. Not everyone in this world is an indestructible strong person. Not everyone is born with a clear and clever mind. Not everyone has a will of iron.
Why curse at the victims instead of the perpetrators?!!
Su Jingyang’s throat trembled as he slowly opened his eyes, which were full of red bloodshot veins.
He spoke, his voice clearly forcing down rage with everything he had. “Xiang Cao, Xu Mei, and Lu Qian, you deliberately arranged for me to meet them, didn’t you?! Right?”
The system sneered. “Do I need to arrange it on purpose? Things like this are everywhere. Too many to count. Running into it two or three times isn’t anything strange.”
Su Jingyang raised a hand and pressed his head, which hurt as if it were about to split. The veins at his temple throbbed.
The system continued. “Besides, I only need you to experience giving birth. You scum, whatever you’ve done, I’ll make you suffer the same in return. I’ll make you perpetrators taste what it’s like to be the victims! It’s not like I’ll just let you stand aside and watch!”
Su Jingyang felt a rush of heat slam into the top of his head. Everything he’d endured recently, together with more than half a year in this world, all the grievances and injustice he’d suffered, finally turned into a sky-high blaze of fury and exploded!
He panted hard as he leapt out of bed, sweeping everything off the table. Whatever he saw, he smashed. As he smashed, eyes reddened, he roared hoarsely, “I’m a perpetrator!!!? What kind of perpetrator am I! What did I do wrong? I only asked one question! One question!!! What f*cking unforgivable crime did I commit!? Did I commit domestic violence? Did I deceive someone’s feelings??
Did I trick someone into marriage? Everything is just your delusion! I did nothing. Why should I come here? Why should I suffer all this! Why do I have to see these things too?! To educate me?! Who the hell do you think you are? An agent of justice?? You’re nothing but a foolish thing controlled by malice!! In truth, what’s the difference between you and those perpetrators you’re talking about?!!!”
Everything in the room that could be smashed was ruined. Su Jingyang was drowning in pain. He clutched his head and screamed himself hoarse, “I want to go home, send me back!! I don’t want to stay here! F***ing let me go home!!!!!!”
By the time he shouted that last line, tears burst straight out. His face flushed red, tears streaming wildly, his body suddenly weakened, and he collapsed to his knees.
The system gave a cold laugh. “You think you can still leave now?”
Rong Ci and Ling Li had heard the alarming commotion and had already rushed in one after the other. They saw the mess filling the room and Su Jingyang kneeling on the floor, crying so hard his body looked ready to collapse. Both Rong Ci and Ling Li were startled.
The two of them went to help Su Jingyang up, but Su Jingyang didn’t even look at them. He shook off both their hands, wiped his face, and tears kept dripping from his chin, drop after drop. His eyes were vacant and lifeless. He threw on a garment at random, grabbed his shoes, and headed out.
Rong Ci and Ling Li followed silently behind him. At the inn entrance, Su Jingyang turned around and unleashed a roar like an enraged lion. “Don’t follow me!! None of you follow me!! Go away! Go!!”
Ling Li reddened around the eyes, helpless. Rong Ci frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”
The dark fury in Su Jingyang’s heart burned fiercely. His tear-filled eyes were full of coldness, as if he’d become a different person. The words coming out seemed completely beyond his brain’s control.
“Nothing’s wrong with me! Whatever’s wrong with me is none of your business! I warned you a long time ago to stop meddling! I’m leaving sooner or later anyway, don’t expect to get anything from me! Get lost! Get the hell away from me!!”
Rong Ci’s lashes trembled violently. The curve of his mouth was cold and hard as ice, and he stared fixedly at Su Jingyang’s ghostly pale face.
Ling Li saw Su Jingyang turn to leave again and hurried after him in a panic. Su Jingyang used every ounce of strength he had to force down the violent malice surging in his chest. His throat tightened, and he spoke to Ling Li with extreme difficulty. “Ah Li, go back first. I want to go clear my head alone.”
Ling Li clasped his hands tightly together. His face was flustered and uneasy as he looked at Su Jingyang, voice trembling. “Then you... you have to come back, Jingyang. You have to come back. I’ll wait here for you, I...”
Su Jingyang had already strode far away.
Su Jingyang put on his shoes, threw on his clothes, and with his disheveled hair just wandered aimlessly through the streets. It felt like returning to the first day when he just arrived here. Every moment filled with confusion and helplessness, feeling absurd and ridiculous.
He walked until his legs went weak and he truly couldn’t go on. Only then did he find a random spot and squat down. He lifted a hand to his forehead. It felt like he was starting to burn up again.
Su Jingyang let out a breath of hot air and lowered his head, staring blankly at the ants on the ground.
System #1 struggled out with difficulty and chatted with him for a while.
After a morning of reckless roaming, the anger in Su Jingyang’s heart had gradually dissipated, leaving only a hollow emptiness.
“Just now, I heard that bastard say he’d make perpetrators taste what victims taste. Then... Xiang Cao and Lu Qian, they can’t be...” Su Jingyang calmed down, and that thought made cold dread crawl up his spine.
System #1 said, “No. Only one otherworlder can be placed into a world, or else it will collapse completely. In other worlds though, there really are people like them who get punished by #2. Their memories of the past are stripped away, their sex is changed, and the ones who committed domestic violence and abuse become the ones abused.
The ones who drove their wives out with vicious words become the abandoned. The ones who tricked others into marriage become the ones deceived and harmed, forever unable to escape that shackle. Tooth for tooth, eye for eye.” System #1 sighed softly. “It feels satisfying, yet using violence to answer violence isn’t the right path in the end. It’s drifting further into extremes, and more innocent people like you are getting dragged in.”
Su Jingyang stared blankly, and for a moment, he didn’t even know what he was feeling.
Su Jingyang also told it about the scenes from his dream. System #1 said those were real records.
It said, “What you saw was far from all of it. People being bad doesn’t depend on sex. Women are simply more often in a disadvantaged position, so back then I chose this road.”
Su Jingyang gazed emptily at the distant crowd and murmured, “Some people are bad because they’re truly bad, and I’m innocent because I’m truly innocent. I... when am I going home? When?” He didn’t know if he was asking the system or asking himself.
System #1 hesitated for a long time before finally saying, “The you right now... probably can’t leave for the time being.”
Su Jingyang thought it meant he was still far from finding the protagonist. The heart that had already gone cold felt as if it had frozen into ice, aching with chill.
System #1 soon went offline again. Su Jingyang squatted until he was tired, then simply sat down on the ground. He sat there blankly, as if he could no longer feel time passing. His body grew heavier and heavier. Only then did he realize something was wrong. He braced himself on the ground and tried to stand, yet his vision went black, and he collapsed unconscious.
Su Jingyang fainted completely. When he woke, he found himself lying on a spacious, comfortable bed, and outside, daylight had already broken.
He remembered he promised Ling Li he would return. Panic rose in his chest, and he hurriedly sat up and tried to throw off the blanket and get out of bed, yet his head was still spinning in waves.
He still struggled out of bed. He was putting on his shoes when someone entered. Su Jingyang looked up and saw a guard with a stern, killing aura. The guard carried a bowl of medicine and set it on the table. “Drink the medicine before you go.”
Su Jingyang understood that this person must have saved him. He was deeply grateful. He walked over, lifted the bowl, and drank, then thanked him.
The guard said, “You wandered and muttered to yourself next to our young master’s residence for half the day. You’re lucky you weren’t seized and locked up. Drink the medicine and leave quickly.”
Su Jingyang was secretly shocked. Yesterday his mind had been in turmoil, and he hadn’t known where he’d gone at all. From what the guard said, he clearly stumbled into the territory of someone important. Staying even a little longer might invite suspicion. Su Jingyang didn’t linger. He hurried out, obedient and cautious.
This place was a great estate. Su Jingyang followed the guiding guard down the corridor and turned several bends. Just then, a young nobleman in brocade robes and a jade crown approached head-on, surrounded by another group of guards.
His brows and eyes were like a painting, his nose bridge high, his complexion fair. An extraordinary nobility surrounded him. It was nothing like the pampered “young master” air of someone like Liang Lu. It was the awe-inspiring presence of an imperial scion.
The guard quickly tugged Su Jingyang, urging him to move aside. Su Jingyang, too shocked to react at once, only recovered after a moment. He hurriedly yielded the way, his mind in chaos.
“The young master asked you a question.” The guard pinched Su Jingyang hard, teeth clenched.
Su Jingyang hurriedly raised his head and met a pair of black eyes cold as frosty stars. He swallowed nervously. Asked what!? He hadn’t heard a thing!
“I...”
“You were just staring at me. Do you know me?” The young nobleman looked at him. His pace of speech was slightly slow, and his voice was pleasant, even carrying a trace of gentleness. Su Jingyang, for no clear reason, felt his scalp prickle.
Su Jingyang hurriedly shook his head, then forced a natural smile. “Of course I don’t know you. I was only thinking that perhaps you were the one who saved me, and I wanted to personally thank you.”
The young nobleman curled his lips into a smile, yet the smile held a bone-deep chill. “You’re lying. You were clearly wearing a shocked expression just now.”
Su Jingyang thought, you look eighty or ninety percent like Ah Xuan, like you were carved from the same mold. How could I not be shocked?!
Su Jingyang had already guessed his identity. This had to be Ah Xuan’s biological father. Ling Li had said there seemed to be some misunderstanding with this person. Su Jingyang didn’t dare expose Ling Li and Ah Xuan lightly. He forced himself steady and met the man’s gaze carefully. “Then... I’ll tell the truth. Please don’t blame me, Young Master.”
The young nobleman glanced at him, refusing to play along. “If you don’t say it, I’ll definitely blame you. If you do say it, I’ll decide after hearing it whether to blame you.”
Su Jingyang could only scratch his head and put on an honest, simple look. “It’s just that I, I came from a small place. It’s my first time seeing someone as good-looking as you. Like a heavenly being descending to the mortal world, so I was stunned.”
The young nobleman stared at him for a long time. He was expressionless as he turned to leave, when someone came in and whispered two sentences into his ear. The nobleman’s expression flickered with surprise. He glanced at Su Jingyang, then said, “Let him in.”
Su Jingyang didn’t understand what was happening and prepared to slip away quietly, yet the nobleman said, “Someone came to pick you up.”
Pick him up? Who would come? Who would even know he was here? Su Jingyang was completely baffled. While he was still at a loss, he saw Rong Ci, dressed in black, stride in with long legs.
The moment Su Jingyang saw him, he recalled the words he’d screamed yesterday in a frenzy. Embarrassment and discomfort rose in his chest, and he quickly averted his gaze.
Rong Ci stepped forward. His expression was unreadable as he first looked at Su Jingyang, who’d turned his face away, then he looked to the nobleman.
The nobleman smiled warmly at Rong Ci. “City Lord Rong, after all these years, you’ve only grown more impressive.”
As soon as he spoke, Su Jingyang felt as if someone had smashed his brain with a hammer. Slowly, bit by bit, he turned his head back in an extremely stiff, awkward posture and stared at Rong Ci in disbelief.
City Lord Rong???!!
F*ck!!!!
F*ck, f*ck, f*ck!!!
Rong Ci didn’t have time to pay attention to Su Jingyang’s furious glare. After he clearly saw the nobleman’s face, he froze, something that almost never happened.
Back then, when Rong Ci met him, the man had been afflicted by gu, his face ulcerated. He had gone to Rongcheng to seek a way to resolve it, and Rong Ci had done everything he could to help. The man’s identity was special, and it wasn’t convenient for him to remain in Rongcheng for long. After obtaining the method, he quickly left Rongcheng and recuperated in the town where Ling Li and the others lived.
From start to finish, Rong Ci had never seen his real face. Now, though, one thing was immediately clear. Rong Ci subconsciously glanced behind him.
The nobleman seemed to find Su Jingyang’s expression amusing. He said to Rong Ci, “Looks like I’ve spoiled your plans.”
Rong Ci yanked Su Jingyang, who was glaring daggers, over to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. He smiled slightly at the nobleman. “Not quite. Thank you for taking care of him, Young Master. We won’t trouble you further, so we’ll take our leave.”
“Jingyang!!”
Ling Li’s voice, thick with tears, rang out. Su Jingyang and Rong Ci both stiffened at the same time. Su Jingyang wanted to turn back and stop him, yet it was already too late. Ling Li was already running over, holding Ah Xuan’s hand.
Su Jingyang had been gone all night, and Ling Li was nearly out of his mind with panic. He feared Su Jingyang would get hurt, and he feared Su Jingyang would leave. Rong Ci found Su Jingyang’s whereabouts, brought him here, and told Ling Li to wait by the estate.
Ling Li was too anxious. Rong Ci hadn’t been inside long before Ling Li brought the child in as well. For some reason, the guards at the entrance froze when they saw Ling Li and the child, and they didn’t stop them. Ling Li seized the chance and rushed inside.
Ling Li rushed to Su Jingyang and threw himself into his arms, clutching his neck tightly. Tears fell pitter-patter, his heart full of sorrow nearly overflowing as he choked out, “You said you were going to clear your head, so why didn’t you come back? I was so worried sick, Jingyang. Don’t scare me like that anymore, all right? Wherever you go, I’ll go with you. I’m begging you...”
Ah Xuan also held Su Jingyang’s hand. He lifted that exquisite, jade-like little face, big eyes looking at Su Jingyang as he pleaded softly, “Uncle, Uncle, come back with us, all right?”
Su Jingyang’s face went stiff, and so did his hand. He placed a hand on Ah Xuan’s head and forced him to turn a different direction. He was about to use the momentum to gently ease Ling Li out of his embrace and leave quickly with him.
However, someone moved faster.
The nobleman strode over and yanked Ling Li out of Su Jingyang’s arms. He gripped Ling Li’s wrist tightly and stared into those stunned, tear-filled eyes. Dark currents surged violently in his black gaze. Through clenched teeth, he raised his voice slightly. “It really is you!”
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