014: Little Cats Aren’t Allowed To Eat Their Boss’s Mouth
What An Tihu said, everyone else just took as a joke. They laughed for a bit, then went back to gossiping.
But Sang Zhao noticed.
Probably because other people only thought An Tihu was joking about “eating coworkers,” while he, as a yaoguai, really could chomp someone down if he wanted to.
He had been quietly listening. Once he thought it over a little, he could tell something about An Tihu’s phrasing was off.
He muttered, “Eat coworkers… why would they say you like to ‘eat coworkers’?”
The moment he asked, An Tihu’s expression went cold.
It was a subtle look, the kind that said, “Oops, I let that slip.”
Now Sang Zhao was even more interested.
He was a cat, and cats have endless curiosity.
He leaned over, eyes shining as he chased the answer. “Why, Xiao An-jie? Did they actually name names and say you ‘eat coworkers’?”
Then he started guessing, wildly and completely off base.
“Are you a cannibal or do you have some weird eating compulsion?”
Before An Tihu could speak, one of the girls from PR laughed.
“You’ve got quite the imagination, Sang Zhao. Our Xiao An-jie eats coworkers? Does she really eat coworkers?”
She tilted her head toward An Tihu and joked, “Then eat me first, Xiao An-jie. I just got photon skin treatment last week, I must be extra tender.”
Everyone burst out laughing.
The laughter loosened the mood and washed away some of the strange feeling that had been hanging over what An Tihu said earlier.
Yeah, most likely it was just a human-style joke.
Xiao An-jie was not a yaoguai. How could she eat coworkers for real?
After everyone had “fished” for a while, they drifted back to their own tasks.
Sang Zhao’s job was assisting Tang Yu, helping with whatever came up, basically being Tang Yu’s personal “admin.”
Assistant work was all over the place. Whatever needed doing, he did.
Like when Tang Yu told him to shred documents or when Xiao An-jie needed materials sorted and filed, he did that too.
Which was why going to work felt boring and annoying. Just thinking about it made him tired.
But there was one part of the job he really liked.
That was cleaning Tang Yu’s desk.
The cleaning staff did not touch desks. They were afraid of moving files and documents around. So everyone had to tidy their own desk.
Tang Yu had a lot of paperwork. When he got busy, his desk turned into a mess, so his assistant had to straighten it up.
Once Sang Zhao arrived, that job naturally fell to him.
Because he was really, really good at clearing a desk.
After he was done, there was nothing left on Tang Yu’s desk. If the computer were not plugged in and practically attached to the tabletop, he would probably want to take that away too.
A desk, in his mind, should be a perfectly empty desk.
So as soon as Sang Zhao came in, Tang Yu quietly stood up and moved to sit on the sofa.
Sang Zhao walked over and, with practiced ease, swept everything on the desk into his arms and carried it all away to sort.
Tang Yu watched him work, held it back for a while, then could not help speaking up. “I am really not that strict, you know. I don’t mind if the desk is a little messy.”
“Every time you clear my desk until there is nothing on it, I feel guilty.”
Was this some leftover instinct from his dorm-inspection days, like a resident advisor who could not stand seeing anything on surfaces or any trash in bins?
Tang Yu honestly did not know what was going on inside that pretty orange head of his.
In truth, there was not much going on. His silly cat brain was about as empty as the desk he had just cleared, nothing in there at all.
He was just having fun. After a beat, he answered firmly, “Desks shouldn’t have things on them.”
Tang Yu could not help laughing.
He sighed, helpless, but still acknowledged how hard Sang Zhao was working and how proactive he was.
It was just a pity for the desk, constantly getting wiped clean, and a pity for him, having to put everything back every time.
He watched Sang Zhao buzzing around, happily clearing the table, rested his fingers against his chin, and called out again. “Sang Zhao.”
Sang Zhao looked back at him, eyes full of question marks.
Tang Yu wanted to ask about his nephew, whether the kid got scolded. He wanted to ask when they could reschedule that dinner scene they missed.
He wanted to ask a lot. He had many things he wanted to say.
In the end, all Tang Yu said was, “There’s an academic cooperation conference tomorrow. Do you want to go with me?”
Wow. That invitation really came out of left field.
He had not expected Tang Yu to bring him.
Weren’t conferences like that very serious events? People wearing suits and ties, everything solemn and formal. Could a little orange cat just wander into that kind of academic cooperation conference?
Academic… cooperate… whatever. He did not know anything. He was completely unlearned.
His guilt surged again. He felt like a rubber duck pretending to be an aircraft carrier, a little orange cat pretending to be a riot-control police dog.
In his own mind, he was the cutest cat in the world (including all species of fluffy animals), but the idea of him attending an academic conference still terrified him.
Me? Huh? Me??
“I… what would I even do there…” he mumbled. “Tang-zong, you really need to know one thing. My ability is actually terrible.”
The last sentence, he said very solemnly.
Tang-zong, you need a sense of proportion here. He could not do math, but that did not mean Tang Yu should also have no idea.
He was certain of one thing. Cats could not go to cooperation conferences.
Tang Yu gave him a sidelong glance, smiling gently. “Oh, that. I already knew that back when you called me tangshu-ge.”
He already knew what Sang Zhao’s “ability” was like.
Even so, he still wanted to bring him.
Of course, he was not taking Sang Zhao along to do note-taking or help him network.
What he was thinking was…
“These cooperation conferences happen several times a year. I go to them all the time. It’s really nothing special. It is not that important a meeting. People mostly sit there and listen to leaders and experts speak. You do not have to feel any pressure.”
He reassured him. “The reason I want you to come along is because… the tea break is really good.”
Tang Yu smiled, the look in his eyes soft as ripples on water. “I think you might like it.”
…Like what? The academic conference or the tea break?
And what exactly was a “tea break”? Was it tasty?
Afraid that Sang Zhao would refuse, Tang Yu even found a roundabout excuse.
“A conference like this still costs me social energy, right? I am busy, so I do not really get to eat. If I want to get my money’s worth, I can only ask you to eat for both of us.”
Whenever he talked to Sang Zhao, Tang Yu sounded even more like he was talking to a child than when he talked to Xia Moye.
His tone was always coaxing. “Eat for the two of us, alright? Can I leave this kind of task in your hands, Sang Zhao?”
Sang Zhao was weak to people talking to him like that.
It was… annoying. Whenever someone used that tone on him, he completely lost the ability to say no.
It felt like he had gone back to curling up in an owner’s arms, being called “good baby, good kitty” over and over.
He made a muffled sound and dropped his eyes slightly, avoiding Tang Yu’s gaze.
“Don’t worry,” he muttered. “I’ll work really hard to eat.”
—
The next day, he thought Tang Yu would take him straight to the conference for food.
Turned out, no.
That was when he realized that a tea break was not a proper meal. You had to sit through a lot before you got to eat.
Tang Yu buckled his own seatbelt, then leaned over to fasten Sang Zhao’s. “So we’re getting lunch first.”
When he leaned in, there was no hesitation at all. The little tuft of hair at the back of his neck, tied up into that tiny ponytail, brushed right past Sang Zhao’s face.
Sang Zhao stared at it and had to use all his strength to hold back the urge to reach out and bat at it with his paw.
As soon as Tang Yu sat back, he quickly asked, “What are we eating?”
Tang Yu set his phone in the mount and tapped the navigation on the screen. “Let me think about where I should take you…”
“How about burgers?” he suggested.
Sang Zhao’s mood dipped a little.
He had just had burgers a couple of days ago. He did not feel like eating them again yet.
Tang Yu caught that tiny shift and his eyes curved. “What kind of burger? Crab roe, tuna, squid ring, and cod fillet burger?”
Sang Zhao sat bolt upright. “Please drive quickly, sir!”
Tang Yu burst out laughing.
He drove off cheerfully, turned on some calm piano music through the car’s Bluetooth.
The weather was bright and clear, not a cloud in the sky. The blue overhead looked like freshly washed denim.
Traffic was smooth, green lights all the way. With a small orange cat sitting beside him, Tang Yu was in an almost absurdly good mood.
“Oh,” he said, “you missed the psychological assessment yesterday afternoon. I will schedule a separate one for you later.”
Another unfamiliar term.
“What psychological assessment?” Sang Zhao asked.
Tang Yu sighed. For once, he was glad the person in the passenger seat was Sang Zhao. Before, whenever others asked, he had never given the full truth.
But with Sang Zhao, he could finally be honest.
“Do you remember what we saw in the stairwell last week?” he asked.
“I remember,” Sang Zhao nodded.
Bringing it up now, Tang Yu still felt a chill. “It was really scary, don’t you think? I keep having nightmares about it. It looked like something out of an alien or ghost movie. I am really worried.”
He shivered a little.
“What kind of pressure does someone have to be under to do something that extreme for no reason?”
He was genuinely worried that, if An Tihu’s stress got any worse, it would not be feet holding umbrellas anymore, it would be feet holding knives.
Tang Yu steered smoothly through a turn, his tone a bit distant. “That is just what I saw. Who knows how many strange behaviors are happening in the company that I have not seen. So I thought it would be better to bring in a psychologist.”
So he arranged mental health consultations for the whole company.
The more Sang Zhao thought about it, the more he agreed.
“Xiao An-jie really is a bit weird,” he said thoughtfully. “Ge, do you think she would actually ‘eat coworkers’?”
Tang Yu sounded like he was forcing back a scream. “…What? Eat, as in, with her mouth?”
Sang Zhao repeated everything An Tihu had said during yesterday’s chat.
Tang Yu sounded even more rattled. “What on earth did I assign her to do? How much pressure did I put on her? Good thing I brought you this time and not her. If she came along, I would not be able to handle it. She would scare me to death.”
So afraid? Maybe Tang Yu was actually pretty timid.
A little bad idea popped up in Sang Zhao’s head.
He suddenly reached over and pressed a hand on Tang Yu’s arm. “Then can I eat you?”
Tang Yu’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. He gave Sang Zhao a complicated look.
Strange. He did not feel quite as afraid as before.
The air between them should have gone tense, but somehow, it warmed instead.
If a yaoguai ate a human, they would be judged by the Yao Bureau, stripped of freedom and cultivation. In severe cases, they would be executed by firing squad.
So yaoguai did not eat humans.
If they did, it would only happen once. There was only that single chance.
Because of that, Sang Zhao was very earnest, very sincere.
“You’re gentle and patient. You’re the best human I’ve ever met.”
“So if I really had to eat someone, with so many people in the world, I’d only eat you, okay, ge?”
Tang Yu opened his mouth to speak, then stopped, then tried again. “Please stop. I am starting to get scared again.”
He shuddered. “There is this awful, creepy, sweet kind of fear crawling up my spine.”
A little cat saying he wants to eat someone is obviously just talking. How could a human actually be scared?
Sang Zhao leaned forward to study his face. “Really scared? Really scared?”
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