Chapter 1: Xi Xingling
Li Dong was born in the mid-to-late 1980s. Parents from that generation had weathered a lot. When many of them later landed jobs inside the system, they decided civil service was the most secure “Naturally, after Li Dong graduated from university, his parents pushed him to sit the civil service exam.
And with that, the girlfriend he’d dated on campus for over a year broke up with him.
She thought he had no ambition. “Just a small-time civil servant” couldn’t give her the life she wanted.
It’s not like she didn’t give Li Dong a choice. She asked, “Are you going to listen to your parents and take the civil service exam, or listen to me and come to Beijing with me to start a business?” She also said, “Isn’t doing almost anything better than being a civil servant right now? Do you have any connections at home? Can you get promoted? Can you buy a place in a first-tier city within three years?”
Back then he was still young and thought, Why is my girlfriend like this? Isn’t that way too materialistic?
Oh, so buying a home has to be in a first-tier city? Are all the other places just small counties where people can’t survive?
They couldn’t agree, so he followed his parents’ wishes and became a county-level civil servant. Six or seven years flew by. Sure, he bought a place in the county, but every blind date ended in failure.
For two reasons. One, Li Dong didn’t like them. Two, they didn’t like Li Dong.
His parents were extremely worried and regretted not holding on to that very pretty, very capable college girlfriend of his.
If they had married back then, the kid would be in primary school by now.
Li Dong himself was quite calm and not anxious at all. He had two reasons as well. One, the older he got, the better he understood himself. Two, the gender didn’t match, so he couldn’t fall in love that way. What he really needed to worry about now wasn’t how to survive all those blind dates, but how to come out to his parents. He had heard that October 11 is National Coming Out Day, so he planned to tell them on the 11th after theGolden Week was right around the corner, and with it came the string of blind-date gatherings he hated.
It wasn’t only his parents, relatives, and friends lining up girls for him. Even his boss and coworkers, and sometimes their parents, started introducing potential matches.
Li Dong was just shy of thirty this year. He was tall and upright, with clear, handsome features.
He might be from a second- or third-tier city, but he had a car and a place of his own. He was the type of “catch” ordinary girls didn’t dare pursue because they were afraid they couldn’t hold him.
People who didn’t know Li Dong assumed he collected a dozen girls’ WeChat IDs a day.
That really wasn’t the case.
The real Li Dong didn’t collect girls’ WeChats. With every blind date, he settled things that same day and never let anything drag on overnight.
Meaning, he would make it clear on the first meeting if they weren’t a match.
But he would still patiently accompany them for the meal, the drinks, and whatever activity was planned.
That was his temperament: laid-back, easygoing, soft-eared, patient, content with his own company. He was easily satisfied with life. He would rather spend time growing flowers and plants than studying stocks and financial products.
The girls called that “lack of ambition,” so a few of them dismissed him.
Good looks are useless they thought and that the ability to make money was the true way.
Recently a young woman joined his department. Unable to deflect his boss’s “encouragement,” Li Dong added her on WeChat first. He figured they would see each other all the time at work, and it’s normal to become friends. Adding WeChat was the most ordinary thing.
After they added each other, they chatted a little. He discovered she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend at the moment, and he let out a breath of relief.
Then he found she was genuinely fun. She kept sharing odd bits and pieces. Some were really interesting; some were so outrageous they could kill without a knife.
During National Day, she posted a Moments update: “Books that made us bawl over the years! [image]”
He hadn’t expected her to be into reading. The long booklist looked pretty good.
To dodge blind dates during the holiday, Li Dong moved back to his own place after the first day.
A bachelor’s life was somewhat boring. When he saw the book list the young woman had posted, he habitually clicked on the links and started reading.
Reading along, he realized it was a gay romance. Li Dong could also tell at a glance that it was written by a female author. It was too obvious. This was too obvious. Even if real men were gay, this is not how he thinks or acts.
Then the plot and character settings practically blinded him with how aggravating they were.
The protagonist shou (bottom) in the book didn’t seem like a person with rights, but an object.
It was infuriating.
The protagonist was passed around like a toy by the scummy gong (top), yet still loved him deeply, all because the scum had once saved him by accident.
“…” What part of that is moving?
Li Dong flipped to the ending for a peek. The male lead and the scummy top were happily together in a HE. Holy sh*t! He hurried back to check the earlier chapters, hoping the shou finally got his revenge on the scum.
Reading the second-to-last chapter, Li Dong almost passed out. The scummy top was never punished. Even right before the end, the one still suffering was the shou.
He tossed that novel aside after only reading the beginning and the end, then tapped another link.
Two hours later, he finished the second book without skipping a word.
“Xiao Yan, can I ask you something…” He typed the line into WeChat, held back, deleted it, and went to a forum for these novels to vent.
“What the h*ll is wrong with XXX? Can the protagonist have some thoughts and a sense of self? Does he think he’s a dog? The top is this scummy and he still loves him, and they even get a HE? I don’t think it’s the book that’s messed up. The author is messed up!”
1st reply: “That’s classic old-school abuse fic by XX. Scum-top/doormat-bottom 101. All the author’s works follow the same template. If your heart isn’t strong enough, don’t read.”
2nd reply: “Haha. Dropping in as someone who’s read it: it’s part of XX’s scum-top/doormat-bottom series. Each one is more abusive than the last, body and mind. If you don’t like this type, don’t force yourself. Some people never forget after reading and become lifelong anti-fans.”
Too bad Li Dong didn’t see the replies. He posted his rant and immediately opened more links.
He was so mad he desperately wanted to read a story where, after being tormented, the shou turns around and fights back hard, showing the scum what’s what like a normal person.
He wasn’t asking the protagonist to single-handedly destroy the world. Just don’t be such a pushover, don’t be such a doormat, all right?
We’re people. We should be strong and self-reliant.
Whether in life or love, let go of what can’t be forced. If you turn yourself into a pathetic dog, nobody will like you.
Li Dong knew he was taking things too seriously. It was just a bunch of web novels after all. However scummy the top, however abject the bottom, they were fictional and didn’t exist in real life.
But after finishing so many of them, no matter how he talked himself down, he still felt suffocated enough to spit blood.
Every one of those protagonists made him want to grab them by the neck and yell, “What the h*ll is so great about that scummy a**?! You can find someone a hundred times better. Why are you obsessed with him?!”
The main characters were fine in every other aspect. They had looks if they needed looks, careers if they needed careers. Some main characters were even wealthy second-generation heirs, but the moment they encountered love, they became idiots and sl*ts.
He wasn’t saying this to insult them. Li Dong thought he was stating facts.
If he had tens of millions to his name, he would be traveling the world enjoying life, not messing around with some ridiculous romance.
In short, after finishing these books, he was depressed beyond measure.
On the last night of the holiday, Li Dong went to bed feeling gloomy.
Before going to sleep, he called home and chatted with his parents for half an hour. As they were talking, he suddenly felt his eyelid twitching, so he ended the call.
Between half-asleep and half-awake, Li Dong heard someone calling: “Second Young Master, Second Young Master, why are you sleeping here? The eldest young master is looking for you everywhere.”
He thought he was dreaming. What first young master and second young master? This wasn’t a movie.
Then a rush of powerful memories slammed into him, jolting his eyes open. He saw a place drenched in neon and alcohol, and he sat up straight from the bar counter.
It was exactly that moment: Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?
“Second Young Master.” A hand patted Li Dong’s shoulder, startling him
“Who are…” He went from dazed to wide-eyed in a few seconds and blurted out, “Sun Heng?” Sun Heng from the novel?
“Yeah, it’s me.” Sun Heng grinned. “Second Young Master, how are you? You didn't drink too much, did you?” He pointed upstairs to a private room with his finger. “The eldest young master is looking for you. He said you’ve been gone for so long, you didn't fall into a pit, did you?”
“…” D*mn it.
Li Dong pinched his own thigh under the counter, causing himself to grimace in pain. Looked like this was real. Sh*t! How had he become the idiotic Second Young Master from that idiotic book?
He had just finished this book a few days ago. He remembered it clearly, right down to the side character Sun Heng.
Unwilling to accept it, he asked Sun Heng, “What does he want with me?” That was a line from the book.
If this was all real, Sun Heng’s next words would be: Well, can’t tell you yet. Young Master wants to give you a surprise.
Sun Heng did exactly that, smiling as he said, “Well, can’t tell you yet. Eldest Young Master wants to give you a surprise. Says it’s to make up for your birthday present.”
The surprise was a young man who looked very much like the white-moonlight that the vicious supporting character had in his heart. His name was Xi Xingling.
The supporting character in the novel, Han Yubai, at first assumed Xi Xingling was some plaything his big brother had bought. Following the logic of “if it’s free, it’s for me,” he happily accepted.
Very soon, Han Yubai learned that the young man he treated like a toy was madly in love with his big brother.
The abuse-fic author wrote Han Yubai as unhinged and domineering, a peacock who strutted and raged. Every day he found new ways to torment the male lead, Xi Xingling. Sometimes he even filmed their “fun” and sent the videos to his big brother Han Tianlin.
Toward the end it got even worse. He actually played group games with his friends.
According to the author’s logic, the scummy top Han Tianlin felt pity because the shou was so obedient and so tragic, so he took the shou back to his side.
But that wasn’t the end.
Even when Xi Xingling temporarily returned to the scummy top, the perverse little brother could still summon him at will, like a freeLi Dong couldn’t bear to recall it.
Right now, he was completely confused and at a loss.
Still, he was almost thirty. No matter how shocked he felt inside, he didn’t let himself panic outwardly.
“Let’s go,” Li Dong said in his own tone by reflex, then quickly slipped into Han Yubai’s rich-second-gen persona. “What surprise is so mysterious? What the hell is my brother up to?”
Sun Heng chuckled. “You’ll know when you go up.”
So Li Dong walked ahead. He was tall and lean, dressed to kill. The book said he was born to wealth, with fine looks and youth and money, a famous young master on the city’s social scene.
In the novel, he kicked doors open and kicked waiters aside, showing a cocky, unruly temper.
When it came to Li Dong, he simply pushed the door, bumped into a waiter, accepted the hurried apology with a wave, and told him to get on with his job.
Sun Heng, following behind him, thought to himself: It seems this young master is in a good mood today.
The private room was full of Han Tianlin’s friends. Everyone knew Han Tianlin doted on his younger brother Han Yubai, so they greeted him first.
“Second Young Master is here. Come, sit over here.”
“Yubai, this way.”
Seeing his beloved younger brother, Han Tianlin patted the seat beside him.
“As Li Dong approached, he glanced at the person by Han Tianlin’s side. The male lead, a fashionable, striking designer, was sitting there quietly.
The moment the man saw Li Dong, his expression lit up. There was a spark in his eyes.
“Second Young Master.” In this book, the male lead’s persona was pitiful and a bit seductive. He practically threw himself at Han Tianlin every day, but since Han Tianlin had no interest in that type, he sent him to the younger brother instead.
The male lead accepted with a wounded air. Now, seeing Second Young Master, he greeted him warmly.
“Ge, this…” Li Dong reacted exactly like Han Yubai would. At first sight of the male lead, he widened his eyes in disbelief. “Chen-ge is back?” The male lead supposedly looked very much like the one Han Yubai truly loved. Li Dong didn’t remember that face, but he could see the male lead was dazzling and radiated a “come get me” aura.
“Take a closer look,” Han Tianlin said with an amused smile.
“No, he isn’t Chen-ge,” Li Dong narrowed his eyes and, after seeing through it, curled his lip and lost interest. “Why did you call me up?” He dropped into the seat beside Han Tianlin, leaving one seat between himself and Xi Xingling.
“Hahaha,” Han Tianlin laughed and said, “What, just because he isn’t A-Chen, you’re not interested?” As the older brother, he knew very well who his younger brother had in his heart.
But that person was not someone they could force. Even Han Yubai couldn’t afford to offend him.
Li Dong glanced at the male lead again and thought, what a walking disaster. I wouldn’t want him even if you handed him to me. Still, he was soft-hearted. If he turned the male lead down, Han Tianlin would probably give Xi Xingling to someone else.
Li Dong’s attitude toward the male lead was nothing more than anger at his weakness and sympathy for his misfortune. After finishing the book, he’d had a wild urge to jump in and teach that idiot male lead and the scummy top how to behave.
But a grown man only stays fired up for a moment.
Now that he was actually in the book, Li Dong felt dazed, blindsided, and utterly bewildered.
Could he go back to his original world and keep going on blind dates? No, wait, keep living happily as a single dog?
“Why are you spacing out? Show some initiative.” Han Tianlin saw his brother go quiet and turned a cold glance on Xi Xingling. “You know very well why I called you here. If you can do it, stay. If you can’t, get lost and don’t ever show your face to me again.”
“Tianlin-ge, maybe Second Young Master doesn’t like me…” Xi Xingling said. After all, Han Yubai had looked him over once and then showed clear disgust.
“Pa!” Han Tianlin slapped him hard. Li Dong winced on instinct. “Then make him like you. If you can’t even do that, who would like you?”
From where Li Dong sat, he saw Xi Xingling cover his face, gasp a little, and let out a soft “ow.”
“And stop calling me ‘ge.’ What are you, exactly? Don’t you know?” Han Tianlin gave a cold laugh. “You’re just a little duck. Where did you get the nerve to act tough?”
“I’m sorry…” Hoarse from the slap, Xi Xingling said, “Young Master, I won’t dare next time.” He lifted his face to show the swollen half where the handprint stood out bright red. He even forced a smile. “If Young Master still isn’t satisfied, you can hit me again.”
Li Dong witnessed the male lead’s cheapness firsthand and could only think to himself: What the f*ck.
“Tsk. Do you think I’ll hit you just because you asked?” Han Tianlin snapped. “Shut your mouth, and stop looking at me so sl*ttily. I don’t like men.”
After cursing out Xi Xingling, Han Tianlin turned to his brother. “There’s nothing good about him except his face. He’s passable to look at. If you don’t like him, I’ll throw him out.”
Li Dong hadn’t said a word yet, but Xi Xingling panicked. “Eldest Young Master…” He had only spoken earlier to test Second Young Master’s attitude, not to resist going with him.
“Pa!” Another slap landed on the same cheek. “When we brothers are talking, what are you interrupting for?” Han Tianlin ordered, “Kneel! If you say one more word, I'll find someone to f*ck you to death. Do you believe it?”
Li Dong watched Xi Xingling drop to his knees with a thud. His slim shoulders trembled. He was clearly terrified that Han Tianlin would make good on the threat to have him used up by a crowd.
Li Dong sighed to himself. In the book, this pitiful young man was only twenty-three, barely out of university. He was beautiful and bright. Supposedly he worked at a design firm under the Han family’s group and had a promising future.
“He’s just such a cheap piece of trash, annoying to look at,” Han Tianlin said in irritation, tugging at his tie and complaining to his brother. “I only saved him once by accident, and he stuck to me like plaster. I can’t shake him. I heard he even got into a Han Group company recently, which just makes me like him less.”
“Ge, you hit his face like that. How am I supposed to kiss him now?” Li Dong drawled, sounding as if he only pitied the face that resembled his white moonlight, not the person.
“If you had said so earlier, I would’ve known you were interested.” Han Tianlin truly indulged his brother. “Then he’s yours. Do whatever you want. Don’t be polite. He’s cheap as h*ll and thinks about men all day long.” He had no interest in men, so tossing the clingy nuisance to his brother seemed perfect.
Li Dong remembered Han Tianlin was straight. He never touched men. Before Xi Xingling entered the picture, he only slept with women.
“Mm. Got it,” Li Dong said with feigned impatience. He crooked a finger at the kneeling Xi Xingling. “Come here. Sit by me.” He was afraid Han Tianlin would get a sudden itch to slap the male lead again.
“Go serve Second Young Master,” Han Tianlin added.
Li Dong: “…”
Holding the male lead’s tall, slender body in his arms, he had to admit he felt a flicker of temptation.
He had been celibate for a long time and was still young. Sometimes impulses got the better of him.
And Xi Xingling was fine-boned and fair-skinned. Setting aside that abject personality, his looks were excellent.
“Second Young Master,” the young man’s voice was pleasant. Because they weren’t familiar, it carried a timid note. “Young Master told me to kiss you. Is that okay?”
It turned out that in the moment Li Dong was distracted, Han Tianlin had given another order. Xi Xingling was to take the initiative and kiss the younger brother.
Li Dong froze, then said, “Not in front of everyone.”
He slipped an arm around Xi Xingling and felt the resilient give of that body. He drew him closer and teased, “If you want to kiss me, do it back in the room.”
“Then don’t just sit there. Go,” Han Tianlin said. He had business to discuss with his friends and wanted his brother to go amuse himself.
Li Dong knew the upcoming plot by heart. He nodded to Han Tianlin, lifted Xi Xingling’s chin, and kissed the cheek that had been slapped red. “Let’s go. Don’t bother Ge.”
“Hey,” Han Tianlin said, shooting Xi Xingling a pointed look. “Serve my brother well. If you make him unhappy, you know I won’t let you off.”
“I know, Young Master. I’ll take very good care of Second Young Master.” Xi Xingling couldn’t stop staring, greedy and reluctant to look away from Han Tianlin.
He wished Second Young Master would linger a little longer, but that was impossible.
Even before meeting him, Xi Xingling had heard all about Han Yubai’s temper. He was the type of rich second-gen with a hair-trigger, the kind who could cost you half your life if you crossed him.
He had been afraid to come, but his love for Han Tianlin overrode the fear, so he dressed up and showed up anyway.
In fact, Xi Xingling had just finished work. He was an intern designer with a heavy workload from his supervisor. Newcomers should work harder than others, so he had been getting off late every day and was exhausted.
“Let’s go.” Li Dong patted his own thigh to get him to stand.
Xi Xingling didn’t dare hesitate. He got up quickly and waited obediently at his side. His tall, slender figure really was excellent, and he knew how to dress. Unfortunately, Han Tianlin looked down his nose at him and found him annoying.
“Ge…” Li Dong stood as well. He wanted to say, “We’ll head out,” but remembering Han Yubai’s personality, he shut his mouth and changed tack. “You’re really giving him to me? I can do whatever I want? You won’t get mad?”
Listening on the side, Xi Xingling grew a little worried. He didn’t blame Han Tianlin for giving him to Second Young Master, but he feared Second Young Master might be too harsh.
“Of course. If I give him to you, he’s yours. Do whatever you want,” Han Tianlin said pleasantly to his brother and didn’t spare a glance for the man who loved him to the bone. “If he doesn’t listen, tell me and I’ll help you deal with him.”
Li Dong let the corner of his mouth tilt into a smile. “No need. If he doesn’t listen, I’ll deal with him hard.” Hands in his pockets, he walked out like nobody else was there.
The tall, slim young man followed, but not before clinging to Han Tianlin with his eyes like plaster, full of reluctant devotion.
“Young Master, could you say a word to me?” Given how obedient he was, and that he was about to go serve Second Young Master, this was reasonable, right?
“A word?” Han Tianlin was a little amused. He turned and gave Xi Xingling one icy syllable. “Scram.”
Hearing that word, Xi Xingling was satisfied, as if tasting honey. “Okay. Scramming now.” His smile was very photogenic. Too bad Han Tianlin didn’t like men. Otherwise, such a beautiful young fresh meat would have been devoured long ago.
“Young Master…” Xi Xingling wanted to say more, but Li Dong reached from behind to cover his mouth.
“Cut the nonsense,” Li Dong murmured in his ear, hauling him out with a firm hand. He was rough in appearance only; once they stepped outside the private room, he let go, careful not to hurt him.
“Second Young Master,” after being smothered, Xi Xingling finally had air again. It also made him a little afraid of Li Dong. The young master’s reputation wasn’t exactly gentle. He apologized in a small voice. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dawdle.” He hoped this heir wouldn’t be angry.
Li Dong knew the doormat male lead was only like this because he loved Han Tianlin so much he’d lost his sense of self.
“Ge’s temper is bad. Don’t chatter in front of him next time. Otherwise it won’t just be a slap,” he said. Then he felt it was pointless. This guy didn’t even care about his life. Why would he fear a slap?
He shut his mouth and said while walking, “Come on. We’ll talk at your place.” As they went down the stairs, Li Dong suddenly remembered that Xi Xingling had come to see Han Tianlin on an empty stomach, then spent the whole night with Han Yubai, and hadn’t eaten the next day either, until he collapsed from shock.
“Huh?” Xi Xingling’s mouth fell open. Weren’t they going to a hotel?
He didn’t mind taking him home, but his studio apartment was cramped. He only paid 2,500 a month for it. The environment wasn’t great, it wasn’t in the city center, and it was a bit far from here.
He worried Li Dong would despise it. “Second Young Master, maybe we should go to a hotel. My bed’s too small. I’m afraid you won’t be able to enjoy yourself.”
Li Dong’s mouth twitched. He was impressed in the worst way. Did this guy even consider himself a person?
He frowned and changed his plan. “Forget it. Let’s eat first.” He had remembered that Xi Xingling ended up with a serious stomach problem and other health issues, all from being pushed around like this.
“Hmm?” Xi Xingling was stunned again. He snuck a look at his watch. It was nine-thirty at night. Too late for dinner, too early for a midnight snack. He followed at Li Dong’s side and asked warmly, “Second Young Master, did you not have dinner?”
Was he the same as him? That would be great. He was starving.
Li Dong glanced at him and said nothing.
At the bottom of the stairs, Li Dong swaggered out. People who recognized “Han Yubai” greeted him. “Hey, Second Young Master, leaving so early?”
These people knew Han Yubai, not Li Dong himself.
To Li Dong, this was a virtual world and he was the only real one. He stayed somewhat aloof and was lukewarm to Han Yubai’s social circle.
Xi Xingling followed a step behind. He wanted to take Li Dong’s arm several times but lost his nerve. He genuinely had no idea how to please this young master.
He had heard so many stories about Han Yubai, but somehow he felt Second Young Master… was a little different from the rumors.
They reached the spot where Han Yubai had parked. Li Dong opened the passenger door. “Get in.”
The voice was lazy, not impatient or annoyed, which made Xi Xingling feel absurdly flattered. “Thank you, Second Young Master.” He hopped in, nervous but also secretly delighted.
1 Comments
Forget Li Dong, the shou is about to make me start spitting blood too with that attitude (╯︵╰,)
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