Me and Myself in a Shura Field
Within the lightless forest, only the small space around them glowed faintly. That light came from the divine radiance lingering around the man before them.
The man had no physical body. His translucent figure shimmered with pale golden light, and the face that looked far too similar to Feng Qi’s remained calm and unreadable. Only when his gaze fell upon Ji Chaoyun in Feng Qi’s arms did a faint ripple pass through his eyes.
Feng Qi instinctively shielded Ji Chaoyun and stepped back half a pace. He asked coldly, “You’re Feng Xiao?”
“I am.”
Feng Qi fell silent.
From Ji Chaoyun’s reactions before, he had already guessed that he and Feng Xiao must look extremely similar. Similar enough that, with even the slightest lapse, Ji Chaoyun would mistake one for the other.
However, only now did Feng Qi understand just how similar they truly were.
The resemblance was truly uncanny.
From their builds and appearances to their facial features and contours, the two were exactly alike. Only Feng Xiao’s bearing was steadier and more serene, bearing the traces left by the passage of many years.
Feng Xiao’s gaze returned to Ji Chaoyun. He took a step forward, seemingly intending to draw closer.
Feng Qi immediately stepped back again.
“What are you trying to do?”
Feng Xiao stopped and looked steadily at him.
A strange feeling suddenly rose in Feng Qi’s heart, one difficult to put into words. He looked Feng Xiao up and down for a moment before asking the most pressing question, “How are you here?”
“The Phoenix Golden Feather,” Feng Xiao replied. “I left a wisp of my divine consciousness on it, which allowed me to take form.”
Feng Qi frowned. “You’ve been inside the Phoenix Golden Feather this whole time?”
“Not anymore.” Feng Xiao shook his head. “It’s only because you constructed this illusion that I was able to appear again. This illusion draws upon his memories as its source, bringing you back to this forest, and also back to a time when I had not yet dissipated.”
“Your divine consciousness disappeared?”
“To be precise, it has been exhausted.”
Feng Xiao continued slowly, “Before leaving him, I infused a wisp of my divine consciousness into the phoenix golden feather, hoping only that it might protect him and keep him safe throughout his life.
Unfortunately... in the end, I still failed to protect him. The last thing I could do was exhaust that wisp of divine consciousness here in this forest and send him back a hundred years into the past.”
Feng Qi did not understand.
“What are you talking about? What exactly happened—”
“The forest before your eyes does not belong to this lifetime.”
Feng Xiao raised his hand then a golden light gathered into a screen above his palm, revealing one unfamiliar scene after another.
Within the images, Ji Chaoyun fled desperately through the forest, covered in wounds.
On that rainy night, footsteps mingled with the rumble of thunder. That cold and desolate scene reflected in Feng Qi’s eyes, finally converging upon the sharp blade that pierced through Ji Chaoyun’s chest.
“...He has always feared this place because it was here that his bones were buried in his previous life.”
The light screen faded away, and the forest once more sank into darkness.
Silence reigned throughout the surrounding forest. Feng Qi lowered his eyes to the person in his arms and only then realized that his fingers were trembling slightly, nearly losing their strength entirely.
Though tales of rebirth were rare in this world, they were not entirely unheard of. He did not doubt that an ancient heavenly god could accomplish such a feat. It was only... had it not been for the phoenix golden feather, his little dragon... would have carried his regrets and pain with him, his bones forever buried here in solitude.
The truth crashed over Feng Qi like a basin of ice water, chilling him to the bone. He dared not imagine the despair Ji Chaoyun must have felt before his death, still less did he dare imagine how much courage it had taken him, after realizing he had returned to a hundred years earlier, to ascend once more and make his way to Hongmeng Academy.
Feng Qi helped Ji Chaoyun sit on the ground, then bent down and held him even tighter.
So...
If during the entrance examination back then, he had truly put an end to Ji Chaoyun’s hopes of entering the academy, what would have happened? Would Ji Chaoyun have once again encountered that black-robed man somewhere, alone and with no one to rely on?
The thought filled Feng Qi with lingering fear. He held Ji Chaoyun stiffly for a long time before finally forcing out a cold, trembling voice through clenched teeth. “You said you would protect him... This is how you protected him?”
Feng Xiao closed his eyes, concealing the pain within them.
“The Phoenix Golden Feather possesses the power of rebirth. Unfortunately, after three hundred years, very little of that power remained. Had that not been the case, I would never have allowed any of this to happen.”
Feng Qi sneered. “Then what about now? Why did you come here?”
“I cannot appear in the present world, so I can only take this opportunity to warn you. The seal I left behind is gradually fading. The Demon Clan may soon begin to stir. Everything you have seen is merely a beginning. There is also...”
Feng Xiao lowered his eyes to the unconscious Ji Chaoyun in Feng Qi’s arms and said softly, “I wanted to see him once more.”
Feng Qi ignored the final words entirely, and without a trace of courtesy pressed Ji Chaoyun’s head firmly into his own chest, saying coldly, “You’ve delivered your warning. You can leave now.”
Feng Xiao fell speechless, a trace of helplessness showing in his eyes as though he wished to speak but stopped himself.
“Right, there is one more thing.” Feng Qi looked at him, making no attempt to conceal the hostility in his eyes. “Why did you hide the seal-key within the phoenix golden feather? Do you think you haven’t caused him enough suffering?”
“I didn’t.”
Feng Qi froze.
Feng Xiao said, “The seal-key was never on the Phoenix Golden Feather. I do not know why the Heavenly Fox clan came to that conclusion.”
Feng Qi finally lost his patience.
“So you’re saying... his death in his past life was for absolutely nothing?! You—”
“Feng Qi, now is not the time to speak of this.” Feng Xiao interrupted calmly. “Of the three artifacts, one has already been lost. You must retrieve it and combine it with the other two before there can be any hope of restoring the Demon Clan’s seal.”
Feng Qi tilted his head. “Why should I listen to you?”
“I know you won’t stand idly by, because we are the same person.” Feng Xiao continued, “Mount Sumeru is in the Mortal Realm. My divine power protects that place, and only you and Ah-Yan in this world can find it. As for the one I left in Fengming Valley, once you have found the other two ritual artifacts, you will naturally understand.”
Feng Qi fell silent for a moment then he said stiffly, “Fine. I understand. I’ll find them.”
After a brief moment of silence, Feng Qi asked again. “Why haven’t you left yet?”
“...” Feng Xiao pressed his fingers to his brow, letting out a faint, helpless laugh. “This temperament of yours really is...”
“What about my temperament?”
“Nothing.”
Feng Xiao sighed softly, as though using the gesture to conceal a certain helplessness in his expression. He looked at Ji Chaoyun in Feng Qi’s arms and asked gently, “May I hold him?”
Feng Qi subconsciously tightened his arms and did not answer.
“Don’t worry, I won’t wake him and I won’t let him know I was here.” Feng Xiao said. “I cannot meet with him now. Once this wisp of divine consciousness leaves the illusion, it will dissipate. He has already waited far too long. If we were to meet in haste here only to part again, it would merely cause him even greater pain.”
Feng Qi asked coldly, “Then why did you leave back then, never to return? Why did you leave him behind and return to the Divine Realm? Do you have any idea what he—”
He did not finish his sentence.
In truth, it was a contradiction. He resented Feng Xiao for being so decisive, for causing Ji Chaoyun to suffer so much. Yet on the other hand, had it not been so, he would never have met this person at all.
Feng Qi shut his mouth unhappily.
Feng Xiao said, “How could everything in this world ever go as one wishes? Whether human, demon, immortal, or god, none can escape ‘fate.’ Fortune makes fools of men. Just as I never imagined that a day would come when I would meet you.”
“I didn’t want to meet you either...” Feng Qi muttered under his breath, then straightened. “If you want to hold him, then come over. He’ll wake up soon.”
Feng Qi moved aside and allowed Feng Xiao to take Ji Chaoyun from his arms.
Then he rose and walked a few steps away.
“Thank you.”
“I’m not doing this for you,” Feng Qi muttered vaguely. “It’s just... if he finds out I wouldn’t let you touch him, who knows how angry he’d be with me.”
Feng Xiao smiled without speaking.
He bent down and gently gathered Ji Chaoyun into his arms. “It’s been a long time, Xialong.”
He lowered his head and kissed Ji Chaoyun softly on the forehead, murmuring softly. “Everything you saw just now was false. I never intended to frighten you, nor did I ever intend to break my promise. Believe me, I will never abandon you... never.”
Hearing this, Feng Qi found the words grating to his ears, and said sourly, “You say that as though you weren’t the one who left him for three hundred years.”
“...”
“What are you looking at me for?”
“Nothing.”
Feng Xiao lowered his gaze. Looking at Ji Chaoyun’s peaceful sleeping face, he finally managed to somewhat quell a certain impulse stirring in his heart. “I only suddenly find myself very glad that I entrusted you to the Phoenix Clan. Had you ended up elsewhere, whether you would have made it this far today is truly difficult to say.”
Feng Xiao had put it very tactfully, yet as though struck by a sudden flash of insight, Feng Qi understood the implication behind his words.
Had he ended up elsewhere, he might have been beaten to death long ago.
Second Highness Feng knew his own temperament perfectly well. Not only did he take no offense, but he also even raised his brows with a smile. “So you’re admitting that you were the one who entrusted me to the Phoenix Clan back then? Just what are you to me? Could it be... that you really did have a wife and children long ago?”
“................”
“I’m asking you a question, Divine Lord Feng Xiao.”
Feng Qi continued, “If you already have a wife and children, then just say so. Don’t toy with this little dragon’s feelings.”
“...I don’t.” It seemed as though Divine Lord Feng Xiao’s tens of millions of years of composure and grace had all been poured into those two words.
He closed his eyes briefly and said,
“What our relationship is, you will understand one day. The only thing I can tell you now is that I have never betrayed him.”
Feng Qi snorted coldly, “You made him wait in vain for three hundred years and even suffer an undeserved death. That’s hardly any better than betrayal. Have you held him long enough? Give him back to me!”
Feng Qi walked over and snatched Ji Chaoyun directly out of Feng Xiao’s arms.
Feng Xiao’s fingers moved faintly, as though reluctant to let go, but he ultimately restrained himself.
Feng Qi bent down and lifted Ji Chaoyun into his arms, carrying him horizontally. Then he looked at Feng Xiao directly in the eye, his expression filled with provocation.
“Anyway he’s with me now, and I’ll make sure he lives well. If you can’t come back, then never come back. Stay in your Divine Realm for the rest of your life!!”
“...”
Feng Xiao finally let out a soft laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. It simply feels as though I am looking at myself from back then. So...” Feng Xiao held himself back and did not finish the rest.
He said instead, “It’s getting late. You have already been inside the illusion for a long time, and his spiritual power cannot withstand such prolonged depletion. I’ll send you out.”
As he spoke, Feng Xiao raised a finger. A teleportation array appeared before them.
Feng Qi walked toward the array, glancing down at the sleeping figure in his arms, then suddenly turned back. “When exactly are you actually going to come back?”
Feng Xiao looked deeply at him, amusement resting within his eyes. “That is a question you should ask yourself.”
“Wha—”
Feng Qi wanted to ask more, but Feng Xiao gave him no such opportunity. The latter raised a hand and gave him a gentle push, sending Feng Qi into the teleportation array.
A flash of golden light suddenly appeared within the forest, then faded into stillness, leaving not a single trace behind.
Feng Xiao stood for a long time in the depths of the dense forest, now returned to darkness. Only after a long while did he finally furrow his brows and touch his own face.
His figure slowly began dissolving into drifting golden sand.
And as he disappeared, a puzzled voice floated faintly through the empty forest, sounding distinctly lacking in confidence.
“Was my temperament when I was young... really that difficult to tolerate?”
☁︎₊˚⊹ The Author’s Jade-Slip Aside ⊹˚₊☁︎
Feng Qi: Heh. Useless scumbag.
Feng Xiao: ...I’m so angry. I want to hit him, but if I beat him to death, then I won’t exist either. No. I must endure.
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