Definitely Won’t Be Able To Escape From Your Grasp
There was a small frozen lake right by the roadside. Afraid Rong Ci would toss him into it after he finished asking, Su Jingyang wrapped both arms and both legs around him at once. His voice rose a little as he reaffirmed, “I really just thought it was strange and wanted to ask, that’s all. It’s not like I’m into you and deliberately flirting with you, so please don’t overthink it!”
Rong Ci, hearing that, held his slight turn of the head for a long time without saying a word. Light snowflakes drifted and swirled around them. Some fluttered down onto his long lashes, melting into droplets that slipped into his eyes, yet he didn’t even blink, as if he had suddenly frozen in place.
Su Jingyang couldn’t help growing nervous. It couldn’t be… it couldn’t be that he had actually guessed right, could it?!
Rong Ci lowered his gaze for a moment, then turned his face away with an unreadable expression and continued carrying him forward at a steady pace. His voice was flat. “Do you think I’d like you?”
Su Jingyang automatically took those words as a denial. He let out a small breath, loosening his grip and resting against Rong Ci’s shoulder. “I don’t think so either. That’s honestly for the best. If you really did end up liking me, I wouldn’t take responsibility.”
Rong Ci scoffed. “Who said anything about making you take responsibility?”
Su Jingyang looked confused. “What kind of view is that? Doesn’t love require responsibility?”
Rong Ci replied, “So many people love me. Do you think I can be responsible for all of them? Have you ever seen me be responsible for anyone? Oh, aside from Yangyang.”
Su Jingyang thought that made sense. “Fine, then I worried for nothing.” Something occurred to him, and he hurriedly corrected himself. “No, no, I meant hypothetically. If you liked someone else, you also wouldn’t expect them to take responsibility for you?”
Rong Ci’s dark eyes were bottomless. He curved his lips and drawled, “Plenty of people talk about responsibility, yet you never see many who can really be responsible for a lifetime. It’s all empty words. Better to be happy for each day and not fret over so much.”
Su Jingyang let out a surprised “Oh,” then said, “Alright, alright, very carefree of you.” He paused before continuing, “Still, you can say that because you probably haven’t met someone you truly like yet. True feelings always come with possessiveness. Once you meet the right person, your viewpoint will definitely change, and you won’t be this indiferrent.”
Su Jingyang felt even more at ease. This person clearly truly had no interest in him. It seemed he really had been overthinking.
Rong Ci stared into the vast whiteness ahead. After a long while, he said quietly, “It still depends on the person and reading the situation. Otherwise, being too aggressive might backfire.”
Leaning against his shoulder, Su Jingyang chuckled. “So you really do hide your thoughts deep. Whoever gets unlucky enough to catch your eye definitely won’t be able to escape from your grasp!”
Rong Ci gave a low, ambiguous hum of laughter through his nose. “You’re right.”
Su Jingyang thought about it, then still couldn’t help asking, “I still don’t get it. Why did you believe Murong the moment she spoke, and rush over to find me? You’re also willing to carry me right now. Is it because you don’t actually hate me as much as you claim, and you’ve already started treating me like a friend?”
Rong Ci answered quickly, “I don’t have friends like you.”
Su Jingyang was displeased. “Friends like me? What’s that supposed to mean? Am I so terrible? I’m not worthy of being your friend? If you dislike me that much, put me down already.”
Rong Ci’s voice lifted slightly. “You sure you want to get down?”
Su Jingyang looked up and checked the road, realizing they still had a long way to go. He acted as if he’d never said it and continued, “You didn’t answer my question. You don’t like me, and you’re not treating me as a friend either. So why did you run over to save me? Why?”
Rong Ci said, “You ask too many questions. I’m refusing to answer. Ask even one more word from now on and I’ll toss you down.”
“…”
Rong Ci carried Su Jingyang all the way back to Ling Li’s house. Su Jingyang invited him to come inside for a cup of hot tea, yet Rong Ci only said there was no need, turned around, and left for his own home.
Su Jingyang went in and found Rong Hua had already brought Ah Xuan back. The three of them were gathered around a brazier roasting sweet potatoes, the fragrance filling the room.
Ling Li had been glancing toward the door from time to time. Seeing Su Jingyang come in, he hurriedly stood up, fetched a dry towel, and dusted the snow off him.
Ah Xuan ran over happily and hugged Su Jingyang’s hand. He seemed afraid Su Jingyang was cold, opening his small mouth to blow warm air onto his fingers. Su Jingyang ruffled his little head, lifted him up, and kissed him with a loud smack. Ah Xuan tilted against his shoulder and said, “Uncle, I missed you.”
Su Jingyang asked, “Where did you miss me?”
Ah Xuan pointed to his own chest, blinking those clear black-and-white eyes as he said softly, “Here.”
Su Jingyang’s eyes immediately stung. He pulled Ah Xuan tightly into his arms, moved beyond words. Ah Xuan being sweet was one reason, yet the bigger reason was that Su Jingyang could tell this return looked even more effective than the first. Ah Xuan’s gaze no longer had that obvious blank and confused look from before. His speech, diction, and even his thinking flowed more smoothly. Signs of improvement like this made Su Jingyang feel grateful and thrilled.
Rong Hua stood and looked outside, then turned back in puzzlement and asked Su Jingyang, “Didn’t you come back with Ah Yi? Where is he? Why didn’t he come in?”
Only then did Su Jingyang remember to ask her, “Murong, why did you lie to Ah Yi?”
Rong Hua blinked and stared at him quietly for a moment. She hooked the red ribbon that fell from her black hair, twisting it around her finger, then answered with a bright smile, “Because it’s fun!”
Su Jingyang was speechless for a good while.
Rong Hua quickly changed the topic and asked how things went today. Su Jingyang told her honestly. Rong Hua didn’t react much, yet Ling Li was clearly shaken by Hao Jiasheng dying and coming back to life. Once he heard Hao Jiasheng had proven Su Jingyang’s innocence, Ling Li finally released a long breath, and the huge stone in his heart at last fell to the ground.
After his mood loosened, he urged Rong Hua to stay for dinner and went to the kitchen to get busy. Ah Xuan clung to Su Jingyang and refused to climb down, so Su Jingyang held him and sat by the brazier.
Rong Hua leaned in and asked, “So? Ah Yi ran off to save you. Are you moved or not?”
Su Jingyang had been fully immersed in the sweet potato aroma and secretly swallowing. Hearing her ask that, he came back to himself. Squinting, he eyed her suspiciously. “Murong, you aren’t… trying to matchmake the two of us, are you?” The way she fussed over it was exactly like how he had once fussed over matching Ah Yi and Ling Li.
Rong Hua nodded frankly. “Yes, yes. I think he quite likes you. He just won’t admit it.”
Su Jingyang tried hard to recall something, then reminded her with a solemn face, “He said something like… ‘If that stupid brain of yours dares to randomly pair me up again, just chop it off yourself and feed it to pigs.’ You should stop before he catches on and scolds you even worse!”
Rong Hua: “…”
Su Jingyang lifted a finger to wipe the drool from the corner of Ah Xuan’s mouth. Using iron tongs, he raked out a scorching hot sweet potato from the brazier, wrapped it with something, peeled it, and fed it to Ah Xuan.
“He personally said he doesn’t like me. I’m not even his friend,” Su Jingyang muttered.
Rong Hua pinched the bridge of her nose, looking as if she had a headache.
Su Jingyang didn’t seem to care much about the topic anymore. He focused on feeding Ah Xuan. Rong Hua stood up, looked at him twice more, said she was going next door for a moment, and then her red shadow flashed. When Su Jingyang turned his head again, she was gone.
Rong Ci didn’t come over for dinner with Rong Hua that day. Su Jingyang didn’t see him until the next morning when he returned the chicken. Rong Ci wore a robe, looking like he had just woken up, and his temper a little sour. He barely spoke. He took the chicken, tossed it into the courtyard, and shut the door.
After that day, Su Jingyang didn’t see Rong Ci for quite a while. Rong Hua said he had family matters and had returned to Rongcheng. Su Jingyang asked out of curiosity, and Rong Hua said his mother was making a fuss about something again and he had gone back to deal with it. The way she said it was vague, as if there were something hidden, so Su Jingyang didn’t ask further.
The roads were too slippery, so Lin’s Small Eatery closed for a period. They only reopened once the sun came out and the snow began to melt.
While listening to customers chatting at the counter, Su Jingyang learned that Old Madam Hao had died. Hao Jiasheng had held a simple funeral, sold the house, and seemed to be planning to leave town.
Su Jingyang listened as they spoke, and his gaze flicked inadvertently. It was a coincidence. Not far away, he saw Hao Jiasheng with a bundle on his back, having just bought some dried rations, preparing to board a carriage and leave.
As if sensing someone watching, Hao Jiasheng paused. With no expression, he glanced over. Su Jingyang hadn’t expected him to turn his head. His hand jerked, and he nearly dropped the melon seeds he was holding.
That guy used to be grinning and unserious, useless through and through. So Su Jingyang wasn’t used to seeing him suddenly look so heavy and withdrawn. It seemed the physician really had been right. He might truly have reached some great awakening.
Rong Hua came running from the back kitchen, leaning against the counter. She grabbed a handful of seeds, cracking them as she followed Su Jingyang’s line of sight. She happened to see Hao Jiasheng turn his face back with frost in his brows and eyes and step into the carriage. She froze briefly, then asked Su Jingyang, “Who is that? You’re looking so intently.”
Su Jingyang replied, “That was Hao Jiasheng who died and came back.”
Rong Hua wasn’t very interested. She gave an “Oh,” pulled her gaze back, and kept cracking seeds. Su Jingyang turned to glance toward the back courtyard and asked, “Who was Ah Li talking to back there just now?”
Rong Hua arranged the seed shells she had cracked on the counter into the character “哼 ,” then said, “Just the slop collector. He’s five or six months pregnant, still out working in this freezing weather. He nearly fainted from hunger. Ah Li invited him into the back kitchen to sit for a bit and eat something warm.”
Su Jingyang nodded in understanding. “I see.”
This slop collector was named Xiang Cao. He was a shuangrenzi. He was rather quiet and reserved. Each time he came, he would only nod in greeting, rarely speaking. Su Jingyang, however, had heard about his miserable circumstances.
Xiang Cao had been raised as a child bride. He had a lazy husband and a vicious mother-in-law. From the age of fourteen, he had been bearing children. Now he was nearly thirty, and he had given birth to more than ten.
Most of the babies were sold by the mother-in-law within three days of being born. At this point, only two sons remained at home to preserve the bloodline, along with one disabled daughter who couldn’t be sold.
It was said that Xiang Cao’s two sons, taught by the family, were ferocious in temperament. They copied the adults and would beat and curse Xiang Cao and their disabled younger sister at the slightest provocation, not treating him as human at all. The mother-in-law, once she had eaten her fill, picked her teeth and basked in the sun, wandered around gossiping, or slept at home.
All the work waited for Xiang Cao to finish his labor outside and come back to do it. Her days were leisurely. Xiang Cao’s husband did even less. He relied on Xiang Cao earning money to go drink.
After drinking, he liked to cause drunken trouble. If the slightest disagreement arose, he would go home, pin Xiang Cao down, and beat him viciously. Old injuries on Xiang Cao’s face and body never fully faded before new ones appeared.
Yet no one had ever heard him cry out in pain or complain. He seemed numb to it all.
Su Jingyang found him truly pitiful. He was still forced to work while pregnant and being forced to bear sons just because sons sold for several times more money. Laws in this dynasty were also incomplete in this regard, and the government wouldn’t interfere.
Su Jingyang had no standing to blame him for submitting to it all nor could he curse him for not resisting. Once certain things are instilled and drilled into you from childhood, it becomes truly difficult to straighten them out again. His own era still had endless examples of that, let alone this time and place.
That night, Ling Li went home and sorted through some of Ah Xuan’s old clothes that no longer fit. He folded them neatly, bundled them up, and planned to give them to Xiang Cao’s daughter to wear. The next day, however, he waited and waited and never saw Xiang Cao. Later, he heard someone say Xiang Cao had been beaten so badly that he miscarried, and the child was gone.
Ling Li held that bundle of clothes, his expression full of sadness. Su Jingyang also felt desolate and sighed for a long time. What kind of people were they, to be this f*cked up?!
When they closed up that evening, Su Jingyang noticed several hooligan-looking men outside the eatery, sneaking glances this way. His heart tightened. He narrowed his eyes and stared back. Those men immediately looked away as if nothing were happening, yet their ill intent was practically written all over them.
Su Jingyang could roughly guess what it was. The owner of Yunxiang Restaurant was probably scheming again. He used Liu Yue’s parents before to publicly expose Ling Li and sabotage the Eatery’s business. He hadn’t expected the Eatery to survive and continue operating, so now he couldn’t sit still and wanted to pull something dirty again.
Su Jingyang didn’t know what they planned to do. Even so, he didn’t need to think to know this time would involve threats to their safety.
Ling Li had everything packed. He went to retrieve Ah Xuan from the wet nurse, completely unaware as he prepared to leave with Su Jingyang. Su Jingyang tugged at his sleeve and, with his back to the doorway, murmured, “Ah Li, those people over there look strange. We should watch for a bit before we go.”
It was late at night. Neither he nor Ling Li knew martial arts, and they were carrying a child. If something happened, they wouldn’t be able to fight it off. If it came down to it, they could spend the night inside the eatery. Patrol officers walked the streets at night, so those men likely wouldn’t dare be too blatant.
Ling Li held Ah Xuan and froze for a moment, then quickly looked past Su Jingyang’s shoulder toward the street. He saw that the suspicious group, who’ had been clustered together, suddenly scattered and melted into the crowd, disappearing.
Ling Li’s expression grew heavier. He tightened his arm around Ah Xuan and said to Su Jingyang, “Alright. I’ll listen to you.”
The two stood there in tense silence, the atmosphere frozen for quite a while, when a tall figure appeared at the restaurant entrance. He curled his fingers and knocked on the half-closed door, his voice clear and pleasant. “You’re still not leaving. What are you doing?”
Hearing that extremely familiar voice, Su Jingyang whipped his head around. Sure enough, under the dim night sky, he saw Rong Ci’s handsome face. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he suddenly felt happy, and an extremely strong sense of security welled up in his heart. Seeing Rong Ci made it feel like there was nothing to worry about anymore.
Su Jingyang hurried to the doorway, eyes curving into crescents as he smiled brilliantly at him. “Ah Yi! When did you get back?”
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