Damn It, Who Pinched My Ass
So Su Jingyang rolled off to sleep. It was probably because he had ginger soup that he slept warmly wrapped in his blankets, dreamless all night. He woke up the next day feeling refreshed and full of energy.
He wasn’t sneezing anymore, his nose wasn’t blocked anymore, and he was in high spirits. Only his face still hurt a little.
Ling Li was relieved to see he was fine. Still, when he helped Su Jingyang apply the ointment, worry crept back onto his face. He was afraid Su Jingyang’s cheek would scar.
Su Jingyang didn’t really care. He joked with Ling Li, “You’re scared I won’t be able to marry out, just like Ah Yuan, huh? I’m not marrying anyone. If I get married, I’m the one who’s marrying someone into my house. Ling Li, I’ll marry you, alright? You’re good-looking, you’re gentle and kind, you’re so considerate to me, and your cooking is amazing. I absolutely can’t let someone else get you!”
Su Jingyang only dared to run his mouth like this because, in this world, his body’s sex was the same as Ling Li’s.
Su Jingyang grinned and leaned his face forward a little, blinking up at Ling Li. He couldn’t help teasing him, half-serious and half-joking, “How about it, I’ll use an entire restaurant as the betrothal gift? I’ll be the shopkeeper, you’ll be the head cook, and we’ll make money together. Not talking about great wealth and riches, but I can guarantee we’ll never worry about food and clothing.”
Ling Li’s gaze shook. His fingertip trembled hard while he was spreading the ointment on Su Jingyang’s face. He stared into Su Jingyang’s smiling eyes for a moment, then seemed to realize something and lowered his eyes.
He tried to plug the stopper back into the bottle several times before he managed it, then said softly, hoarse and astringent, “Jingyang, I’m not as good as you say.”
“How are you not? You’re the best.” Su Jingyang thought about how he would be able to hand Ling Li the restaurant deed soon and give him a surprise. He couldn’t hold back his excitement.
Su Jingyang was already itching to head out. He lunged forward and hugged Ling Li, who hadn’t even reacted yet. “Don’t go out today. Stay home and wait for me!”
Ling Li stiffened in his arms. He blinked and answered softly, “Alright.”
Ling Li’s hand had just started to lift toward Su Jingyang’s shoulder, but Su Jingyang had already let go and stood up. “You have to wait for me!” After another reminder, he happily ran outside.
Su Jingyang caught Ah Xuan playing alone at the doorway, scooped him up, and planted a loud kiss on him. Ah Xuan’s soft little cheek got squished out of shape.
“You little guy, behave at home. Uncle will take you out to play when I’m back.”
Su Jingyang patted his head and set him down.
Ah Xuan saw him running out all puffed up with importance and immediately chased after him, calling out “uncle, uncle, uncle” with slurred little words. Ling Li rushed over and grabbed him so he couldn’t run out. Ah Xuan let out a disappointed whine and slumped against Ling Li’s chest.
Su Jingyang had barely stepped outside the front gate when he ran right into Ah Yi. He realized Ah Yi was heading into Ling Li’s house, and he paused in surprise and asked, “What are you here for?”
Ah Yi glanced at him and answered with as few words as possible, “Some business.” Then he brushed past him and pushed open the door Su Jingyang had just closed, walking right in.
Su Jingyang backed up a few steps, trying to listen to what Ah Yi was going to say to Ling Li. However, Ling Li greeted him with a calm expression and went straight to the kitchen. Ah Xuan happily trotted after Ling Li.
Ah Yi’s gaze swept around the courtyard, then landed on the black outer robe hanging on the line, fluttering in the wind. His mouth seemed to twitch into a faint smile.
Su Jingyang scratched his head and left. It looked like this guy was making a move on Ling Li. He was really energetic, coming this early in the morning. His spirit was commendable. Ling Li’s attitude made it seem like Ah Yi was going to suffer for it.
Su Jingyang went to meet up with Liang Lu. He waited at Lin’s Small Eatery for someone to come sign the agreement. The owner didn’t show, but a steward came instead.
Skipping the small talk, he checked Su Jingyang’s identity plaque, verified the banknote, then signed the contract, stamped it, handed Su Jingyang the deed, and left with an easy stride.
Su Jingyang held the deed and still felt like he was dreaming. He was overjoyed. He ran upstairs, downstairs, and through the inner yard several times, smugly thinking, I finally have property too!
Liang Lu stood downstairs with a smile, his eyes following Su Jingyang as he ran around. “The signboard will take a few more days. Once it’s done, I’ll have someone hang it up for you.”
“Alright, alright, thank you so much.”
Su Jingyang was genuinely grateful for how much Liang Lu had handled for him. He suggested treating him to lunch. Liang Lu happily accepted, and they picked a restaurant Liang Lu often went to.
Boss Su also secretly inspected the restaurant’s decor, dishes, and prices. He was self-aware enough to admit Lin’s Small Eatery definitely couldn’t reach that level of class. A budget-friendly route was better. With Ling Li’s cooking, business probably wouldn’t be bad.
During the meal, Su Jingyang couldn’t withstand Liang Lu’s coaxing. He was happy to begin with, so he didn’t restrain himself and drank two cups. When the banquet ended, he was already staggering when he walked.
Liang Lu hadn’t expected his alcohol tolerance to be that low and felt helpless. There was no way Su Jingyang could make it home on his own like this, so Liang Lu supported him into the carriage.
Su Jingyang sat limp in a corner, staring at Liang Lu with those eyes that were half-awake and half-not, chilly and ghostly. Liang Lu found it funny and asked what was wrong.
Su Jingyang burped up alcohol and asked, “You… where are you taking me?”
“Home,” Liang Lu said. “I’m sending you back.”
Su Jingyang blinked extremely slowly and gave a low, sulky snort. “You really do know where I live.”
Liang Lu looked at his face, his tone carrying a rare trace of wistfulness. “Even if I know you live there, do you think I’m going to harm you, you little ancestor? You don’t need to keep acting all mysterious and hiding it from me.”
“Who… who are you calling your ancestor?”
“You,” Liang Lu said. “Young Master Liang hasn’t ever cared this much about anyone in my life.”
Su Jingyang thought for a long time. “…You really like me?”
Liang Lu was so annoyed by that sudden realization in his tone that he laughed.
Su Jingyang exhaled alcohol-scented breath, thought again, and still said it plainly, “I don’t like you. You even tried to do something criminal to me before.”
Liang Lu clutched his chest in despair and raised his other hand to stop him. “Stop, stop. I know. It was all my fault, and I even caused you to…” He didn’t finish. “I never expected you to forgive me.”
Su Jingyang’s cheeks were flushed red from the drink. His eyes half-closed for a while before he slowly continued, “I don’t hate you anymore though. Being friends is still fine. Mm, friends? Will that work? You tell me.”
“Fine, fine, it has to be fine. Thank you for your grace,” Liang Lu said. Hearing Su Jingyang’s mumbling cadence, he knew Su Jingyang was truly drunk. He noticed Su Jingyang curling in on himself from the cold, so he took a blanket and covered him up, wrapping him so only his head was exposed.
Su Jingyang closed his eyes and mumbled that he wanted water. Liang Lu held a teacup and leaned in, personally helping Boss Su drink some warm water. After Su Jingyang drank, his head tilted to the side and he started snoring, dead asleep.
There are no walls in this world that don’t let wind through. Su Jingyang and Ling Li had lived together for so long that someone was bound to notice eventually. Su Jingyang was close with Liang Lu, so naturally someone passed the news along. Liang Lu had actually known for a long time.
When the carriage was nearing Ling Li’s house, Su Jingyang seemed to sense it and suddenly woke up. The wine hadn’t fully faded. He lifted the curtain and started shouting from far away in an absurdly loud voice, “Ah Li, Ah Li! I’m back!”
The commotion sounded wrong. Ling Li hurried out with Ah Xuan to meet him.
As soon as Ling Li came out, the door next door also opened. Ah Yi’s expressionless face appeared behind it. When he saw Liang Lu supporting a drunken Su Jingyang down from the carriage, Ah Yi pressed his lips tight, a vein throbbing violently at his temple.
The carriage had stopped right in front of Ah Yi’s door.
Ling Li went up, utterly stunned that Su Jingyang was being sent home drunk. Su Jingyang shook off Liang Lu’s supporting hand and stumbled into Ling Li’s arms. Ling Li hurriedly caught his sinking weight.
Ah Xuan circled around Su Jingyang twice. The alcohol smell hit him, and he pinched his nose and ran to Ah Yi, reaching up to be carried.
Ah Yi picked him up and coldly watched Su Jingyang, who was grinning and making silly noises at Ling Li.
Su Jingyang pulled out the deed, the remaining banknotes after buying the place, even his identity plaque, and a bag of candy he bought for Ah Xuan before the meal and shoved everything into Ling Li’s hands.
“Here, here, take it, it’s all for you.” Supported by Ling Li, Su Jingyang barely managed to stand. He burped several times in a row, alcohol breath spraying all over Ling Li’s face. “The betrothal gift I promised. It’s all all all yours.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, he closed his eyes and toppled straight into Ling Li’s arms.
Ling Li was confused at first, but he immediately realized something was off. The deed was real, and the banknotes were real. Ling Li held Su Jingyang, who was dumping all his weight onto him, then glanced at Liang Lu standing by the carriage in rich brocade. Ling Li’s face turned paper-white in an instant.
Liang Lu didn’t stay. After delivering Su Jingyang, he assessed the surroundings, glanced at Ah Yi, then rode away in the carriage.
Ling Li, unsettled and frantic, struggled to support Su Jingyang into the house. A drunk person was dead weight. Ling Li couldn’t manage alone.
Ah Yi set Ah Xuan down and said to Ling Li, “I’ll help you.”
Ling Li had barely said he didn’t need help when Ah Yi had already hauled Su Jingyang over, then easily carried him into the courtyard.
Ling Li’s thoughts were a mess as he led Ah Xuan in behind them. Suddenly he heard Su Jingyang howl, “Damn it, who pinched my ass!”
Ling Li froze and asked Ah Yi what happened. Ah Yi didn’t even turn his head. He told him Su Jingyang was talking in his sleep.
Ling Li gave a quiet “Oh,” lowered his head, and didn’t ask more.
Ah Yi gritted his teeth, tossed Su Jingyang onto the bed, then brushed off his hands and came back out.
Ling Li set the deed and the banknotes on the table and sat there, his face not looking good. Ah Yi could tell he was probably misunderstanding something, so he told him where Su Jingyang’s money had come from.
“A five hundred tael reward?” Ling Li looked like he had come back to life, his gloom dissipating. He murmured, “He didn’t mention it before…”
Ah Yi said, “With that brain of his, he probably wanted to surprise you.”
Ling Li didn’t respond. He reached out and gripped the deed tightly. Thinking of how Su Jingyang had been secretive this morning while barely containing his excitement, Ling Li’s throat tightened, and his eyes immediately dampened.
Ling Li quickly lowered his eyes to hide it. After steadying himself, he suddenly remembered something and said to Ah Yi, “If it was a reward, then… it should go to you.”
Ah Yi didn’t want to push and pull over this. “I got some too. He and I split it.” He pointed at the things on the table. “These are yours. Keep them.”
After he said that, Ling Li seemed to believe it. He gathered everything up and brought it into the room. He tucked the quilt around Su Jingyang, who was sleeping soundly, and watched him for a moment with a quiet, gentle gaze before he went back out.
When Ling Li returned to the hall, he found Ah Yi kneeling on one knee, his right palm resting on Ah Xuan’s head, as if he were carefully sensing something. Ah Xuan sat obediently still, eyes half-closed, like it felt comfortable.
Ling Li had seen him do this several times. He had done it while playing with Ah Xuan two days ago, then this morning when he came over on purpose, and now again.
Ling Li stood to the side, wanting to speak but stopping himself. After a while, Ah Yi finally stood up. He turned to Ling Li and asked, “What did the physician say about this child’s illness?”
Ling Li walked over and drew Ah Xuan into his arms. He nodded, voice trembling. “They said it can’t be cured.” Ling Li connected it to what Ah Yi had been doing and wanted to ask if he had a way, but his throat clogged. He never asked. He didn’t dare hope.
Ah Yi lowered his eyes and paced back and forth two steps, thinking. He looked at Ling Li again. After a moment of silence, he continued, “This child’s seven orifices haven’t opened. Perhaps a shaman from the Rong clan can help you.”
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