Chapter 92: Ye Zeqian
By the time they got home, it was past seven. Summer evenings had only just fallen, and the night wind whooshed softly against the window. Now and then, a few bursts of noise drifted up from the neighbors.
Luckily, this was the hour when every household came alive, such as people getting off work, cooking dinner, yelling at kids. Those ordinary sounds of life just barely managed to cover up Ye Zeqian’s voice.
Otherwise, after tonight, Li Dong’s apartment, Unit 603, would’ve been blacklisted across the whole neighborhood as the den of an unrestrained pervert.
From just past seven until ten, the two of them went at it nonstop. Only before the world fell quiet did Ye Zeqian finally release Li Dong, spent and unwilling to bite him anymore.
“……” Good grief.
Li Dong rested, face full of “this old man is dying” pain written all over.
Just now it truly wasn’t him wanting endless rounds. It was Manager Ye being endless with him. Even when Li Dong wanted a break, he wasn’t allowed one.
“Was that really necessary?” Ye Zeqian asked, watching him curl up like a dead dog trying to avoid him. The expression on his face practically accused Li Dong of being the one who couldn’t control himself.
“……” Whatever initial bravado Li Dong had about putting Ye Zeqian in his place had completely burned out by the second half. He didn’t even have the strength to speak.
“You acted like such a big shot in the beginning,” Ye Zeqian muttered under his breath, pulling the blanket up over himself.
“Do you have some kind of misunderstanding about men’s stamina?” Li Dong couldn’t help but shoot back, looking at him resentfully.
Ye Zeqian stayed quiet, breathing evenly as he shifted closer.
“Let me tell you something.” Li Dong said, “The average length for men here is about 12 to 14 centimeters, and the average duration is 11 minutes and 20 seconds. Now think about how many points I’ve raised the national average for my fellow brothers.”
“Oh?” Ye Zeqian replied, unimpressed. “You make it sound so factual.”
“You just don’t get it,” Li Dong said. “80% of what men say about themselves is fake bravado. No man will admit he’s short or quick. The only person who really knows is his partner.”
“Humph.” Ye Zeqian hummed.
Li Dong pinched his handsome face. “I’m your partner. So whether I’m short or quick, only you’d know.”
“Exactly,” Ye General Manager replied smoothly, then reached up to pinch Li Dong’s ear. “And if you dare let anyone else know—”
Well, the threat didn’t sound pleasant.
Li Dong didn’t even bother defending himself. “You’ve got plenty of energy left, huh? Order us some takeout.” It was already past ten, and neither of them had eaten a single bite all day.
“I don’t eat takeout.” Ye Zeqian frowned. “Should I cook?”
He said that but didn’t move an inch.
Someone once said:
Never cook or wash dishes the first time you visit your partner’s place because once you start, it will always be your job.
Li Dong, sharp as ever, could tell Ye Zeqian had no intention of actually moving.
“No, I’ll do it.” Truth be told, letting a guest cook the first time they stayed over wasn’t something he’d ever do anyway.
He slipped out of bed, threw on a shirt, and went to the kitchen.
Ye Zeqian lay there staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. He remembered how, when he’d first stepped into this apartment, it had felt strange. Even knowing it was his new husband’s home, there’d been no sense of belonging.
When he’d stormed off earlier, his head must’ve been full of nonsense, because all he could think about then was getting a divorce as soon as possible.
Now, remembering it made his face burn with embarrassment. How childish.
Lying in his lawful husband’s bed no longer felt foreign. He got up, rummaged for clean clothes, and went to shower.
Inside the bathroom, there was a full-length mirror. The proper, elegant General Manager Ye caught sight of his own body covered in hickeys and murmured, “Tsk, tsk… what am I, a dog?” Never mind that he’d left Li Dong scratched and bitten all over, too.
Meanwhile, Li Dong was in the kitchen. Everything was nearly done; the millet porridge just needed to finish simmering before he started stir-frying.
“What’s for dinner?” Ye Zeqian asked.
“Millet porridge.” Li Dong smiled. “That’s also your meal plan for tomorrow and the day after.”
“Light enough.” Ye Zeqian leaned against the doorway. The brightness between his brows was probably the unique scenery within newlyweds.
Then came dinner, and after that, rest.
Somehow, the argument from earlier was gone like it had never happened at all.
Li Dong’s good mood the next morning, however, vanished completely the moment he saw himself in the mirror.
Was that really his face?
Before looking, he’d remembered himself as handsome. After looking, what he saw was unrecognizable.
Ye Zeqian happened to see him standing frozen in front of the mirror. Feeling guilty, he didn’t dare go in to wash up, which said plenty about how bad Li Dong’s face must’ve looked.
“General Manager Ye,” Li Dong called, “check the second drawer of the bedside table, bring me a box of band-aids.”
“Oh.” Ye Zeqian went to get them, mumbling as he searched, “How many does he even need?”
He came to deliver the band-aids and, pretending not to stare, stood nearby brushing his teeth.
Li Dong didn’t scold him, just took the band-aids and started patching himself up.
“Can you still go to work today?” Li Dong asked.
“Yes,” Ye Zeqian said after spitting out the mouthwash, then added, “I’m just not taking the stairs.”
“Then you’ll have to leave early,” Li Dong said as he shaved.
After spending one night and one morning together, anyone observant enough could already learn a lot about someone’s habits and character.
The more Ye Zeqian saw of this man he liked, the more satisfied he felt. So far, there hadn’t been a single thing that disappointed him.
Which, to be fair, made sense.
After hundreds of years of living through different lives, Li Dong didn’t have many bad habits left.
In the car, Ye Zeqian answered a call. “Mom? Morning.”
It was Madam Bai Xuan. “Linda said you left the office at noon yesterday and never came home. I was worried something happened.”
Normally, Ye Zeqian would’ve remembered to call, but too much had happened since noon yesterday.
“Sorry, I forgot to tell you,” he apologized. “I stayed over at a friend’s place last night. I’m on my way to work now.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine. I’ll come home after work.”
“Alright. I’ll have Auntie make soup for you.”
“Thanks.” He hung up and turned to Li Dong. “President Xu, can I tell my mom that we got married?”
“Of course,” Li Dong said, blinking. “You don’t need to ask me for that. Tell whoever you want.”
Then he realized, Ye Zeqian must’ve thought he wanted to keep it a secret.
He quickly clarified, “We’re not hiding our marriage, we just haven’t picked a proper date for the ceremony yet.” After all, they got basically got married on a whim. Whether anyone believes it or not, even he finds it hard to believe. “As for who you want to tell, just tell them.”
So that was what he meant.
Ye Zeqian nodded, pulled out his phone, and sent a message to Bai Xuan: Mom, I married Xu Chaoyan yesterday afternoon.
Then another to his friend Zhang Buzhuo: Buzhuo, I married Xu Chaoyan yesterday afternoon.
He had no desire to brag to his ex, Gao Zhen, but since he didn’t have Gao Zhen’s number, he figured: Buzhuo, please tell Gao Zhen I married Xu Chaoyan. Passing it through mutual friends would make the effect even better.
Bai Xuan: “……”
Zhang Buzhuo: “ ！！！”
Both replies were punctuation only. One speechless, one shocked.
“President Xu,” Ye Zeqian turned his head. “Come to my place for dinner tonight.” After visiting his husband’s home the night before, it was only right to return the gesture.
“Sure,” Li Dong agreed easily.
Ye Zeqian replied to his mother: Mom, I’m bringing him home for dinner tonight. Please prepare accordingly.
Bai Xuan: Such a huge thing, and you just tell me so casually? How exactly am I supposed to ‘prepare accordingly’? The chairwoman of the Ye family was pacing, speechless.
“What’s wrong?” Mr. Ye asked.
“You look for yourself.” She handed him the phone.
Meanwhile, Ye Zeqian texted Zhang Buzhuo again: I’m bringing him home tonight. Let’s have dinner tomorrow or the day after.
Zhang Buzhuo: Who suggested marriage? What does he think of you? Do you even like him?
Ye Zeqian: I asked him to consider me. He suggested marriage. And yes, I like him.
Then he turned to Li Dong. “Buzhuo asked what you think of me.”
Li Dong said, “Turn on your recorder and lean over here.”
“…” Ye Zeqian did as told. “Alright.”
“Mr. Zhang Buzhuo,” Li Dong’s voice came through clearly in the recording, “General Manager Ye and I got married yesterday. So far, everything’s going great. Thank you for the congratulations, let’s have dinner sometime soon.”
Zhang Buzhuo: You’re married, and he still calls you General Manager Ye? What’s with ‘so far, everything’s going great’? You can live with that? Also, when did I even congratulate you?!
Ye Zeqian: I call him President Xu. What else should I call him? You’re not happy for me?
Zhang Buzhuo: “……” He had the sinking feeling his friend had been recruited into a cult and not just any cult, but a very convincing one.
He could admit Xu Chaoyan’s qualifications were impressive, but not so impressive that Ye Zeqian had to throw himself at his feet.
Zhang Buzhuo: Is he good to you? (Not counting the fake relationships before.)
Ye Zeqian: He’s very good to me.
And that was true. It felt comfortable, and nothing about it felt wrong.
Zhang Buzhuo: You’ve definitely been brainwashed… For someone who’d always been pursued relentlessly, who’d once taken two years to start a relationship, to suddenly marry a man he’d known less than half a month, of course Zhang Buzhuo was terrified.
“General Manager Ye, breakfast’s ready,” Li Dong said as he came around to open the car door for him.
“Thank you.” Ye Zeqian smiled, typing one last message before putting down his phone: President Xu’s calling me for breakfast. We’ll talk later.
Zhang Buzhuo didn’t even want to reply anymore.
Then Ye Zeqian sent one final message: Remember to tell Gao Zhen for me.
Five minutes later.
Zhang Buzhuo: Gao Zhen doesn’t believe me. He says you’re messing with him.
Ye Zeqian, still eating breakfast, pulled up his camera roll, found their registration photo, and sent it over: Marriage certificates look like this. If you don’t believe me, look it up. Then, after a pause, he added: We had to study over two thousand questions just to get it. If you don’t believe me, look that up too.
Li Dong, sitting beside him, suddenly chuckled. “I just remembered a joke.”
Ye Zeqian looked up expectantly. But the punchline never came.
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