022: Rampaging Cat Beats Up a Random Guy
After he finished praising himself, Sang Zhao copied Tang Yu’s earlier gesture and patted himself on the head with his paw.
He lowered his gaze to his fluffy paws. The more he looked, the more he liked them, and just like Tang Yu kissing the Samoyed, he leaned down and gave his own paw a loud smacking kiss.
Sigh.
But even after doing all that, he still let out a breath.
It just didn’t hit right. Not enough.
He still felt tired and deflated, without that feeling of being soothed.
Without that feeling of being so loved you just wanted to gnaw on someone’s head, of hugging until both sides were yowling out loud. He didn’t know how to put it into words, but it was that kind of love.
He wanted Tang Yu to give him the same sticky-sweet, intimate, honey-thick nickname he’d used on that dumb dog.
“Baby.”
No one called him baby anymore. Why did the dog get to be baby?
Bad dog.
Why call him a good dog and not call anyone a good kitty? Bad human.
So annoying. He wanted Tang Yu to praise him too, Sang Zhao thought determinedly. And if he wanted that outcome, he had to put in some effort.
So on Friday after work, Sang Zhao actually sent Tang Yu a voice message.
He asked if there was anything in the case An Tihu had mentioned recently that he could help with, and whether Tang Yu could share some of the material from that academic cooperation meeting. He said he wanted to learn more, so that maybe he could go with Tang Yu again next time…
He rambled on and on.
Tang Yu, staring at a string of voice messages: ???
He was a little alarmed.
Wow. Talking about work after hours. Just how much did he love his job?
If it had been anyone else, fine. But this was Sang Zhao.
And it wasn’t prejudice, it was just the facts… that kid really wasn’t very good at work.
So why was he suddenly all about work?
As he stared at the screen, a wild thought appeared.
Could it be… he just wanted to talk to me more, so…
The moment the thought formed, he slapped it away.
No way, right? But even as he muttered that to himself, his ears were turning red.
Tang Yu couldn’t bring himself to believe that Sang Zhao honestly wanted to study. But at that very moment, Sang Zhao’s desire to improve was blazing.
He decided he’d not only work hard at the office, but he’d also sign himself up for extra classes the next day.
He’d go to the Yao Bureau and study pinyin properly, build a solid foundation. His drive to improve was on fire.
Then he slept.
The next day, he rolled once across the mattress and slowly sat up, sleepy and dazed.
…Ugh. Did he really have to go to class? Did he really have to attend this course?
What class, what curriculum, needed a small cat to show up in person?
He sighed, but he still went to the Yao Bureau. After a whole morning of lessons, he and all the big cats got dragged into a mini meeting with Director Li.
Director Li: “Was it fun?”
Cats: It was! It was super fun!
Director Li: “You still dare do it again?”
Cats: Hehe, yeah, we still dare.
So they got scolded until their tails drooped, but they kept sneaking each other looks, clearly still pleased with themselves.
When they finally left the Yao Bureau, Sang Zhao let out a long breath.
The black panther asked if he wanted to come to lunch with them. Sang Zhao was tempted, but not that tempted. He was still hesitating when a WeChat message came in from Tang Yu.
Tang Yu’s wording was careful, his tone very gentle, asking if he wanted to play badminton.
“I’ll bring some of the cooperation meeting documents for you,” Tang Yu added.
By that point, there was no trace of work or meetings in Sang Zhao’s brain. The moment he heard badminton, he turned to the black panther. “You guys go ahead and eat. I’ve got plans!”
Cats loved playing with balls, and they loved bird feathers. Just from the name alone, badminton sounded fun.
The black panther heard the voice message playing and got even more excited than Sang Zhao.
“Is that your human friend? That’s right! For the sake of our great ‘pretend to be human’ cause, we need to have human friends like normal people!”
Sang Zhao wasn’t sure if he and Tang Yu counted as friends. According to human workplace rules, an assistant probably shouldn’t be friends with the CEO.
You didn’t really see employees being friends with the boss in an office, did you? Did it sound reasonable? Going out to play badminton with your boss… wasn’t that just unpaid overtime in disguise?
He didn’t really get human social rules. He wanted to play badminton, and he wanted to see Tang Yu, so he happily went.
Tang Yu wanted to drive over and pick him up, but he refused and took the subway to the sports center instead.
When he reached the entrance, he saw Tang Yu sitting on a bench outside the hall, wearing a white-and-blue sports top and shorts that stopped just above the knee.
A racket bag stood beside him. When he saw Sang Zhao coming, he stood up quickly, eyes lighting up as he waved.
Once he’d walked over, Tang Yu pulled a kraft-paper-wrapped bundle from his arms. “Beef-and-cheese flatbread, with extra beef cubes and cheese.”
He watched, delighted, as Sang Zhao’s face lit up like sunshine.
“I asked them to hold the onions. I noticed you don’t eat cilantro or scallions, and last time you said you don’t like strong smells, so I didn’t ask for onion.”
“It’s just past lunch. I figured you probably haven’t eaten yet?”
Sang Zhao’s expression was pure “sob sob this human really understands a kitty’s heart.”
“You guessed right!”
He’d been so excited to come play that he’d skipped lunch and jumped straight on the subway.
How could Tang Yu be this gentle? He was taking him out to play and still worried about feeding him.
Sitting on the bench outside, Sang Zhao tore open the waxed paper bag to reveal a perfectly toasted, pale golden flatbread.
He sniffed, catching the scent of wheat, beef, and melted cheese.
“Whoa, that smells amazing.”
Tang Yu sat beside him, propping his chin on one hand, watching him eat.
To Tang Yu, it looked like he was about to climb straight into the flatbread.
Mouth full, Sang Zhao occasionally tilted his head back to look at the sky. The bright blue was dotted with puffs of white cloud, all fluffy like freshly made cotton candy.
The sun was warm and the flatbread was delicious.
He swallowed a huge bite and grinned. “The weather’s so nice.”
He said it just like that.
And once he started talking, it was very hard for him to stop. Especially for Sang Zhao, who drove a metaphorical cat-scooter when he spoke, which meant no brakes.
Chewing, he sighed, “With weather this nice, we shouldn’t have to work. We should be allowed to sleep every day and sit by the window watching birds.”
“Why do humans have to work?” He genuinely didn’t understand.
If humans didn’t have to work, pretending to be human would be fun and not exhausting at all.
His company’s CEO, Tang Yu, let out a soft laugh. “Ah, that.”
“It’s to create social value,” Tang Yu said.
Sang Zhao: …Cats didn’t need social value.
Cats just wanted to be their owner’s little bundle of fluff.
He said very seriously, “Isn’t there a possibility that five million could just fall out of the sky and land on me?”
Watching him talk nonsense made Tang Yu want to laugh himself sick.
While they were talking, a girl with a low ponytail came out of the hall with the boy next to her.
Tang Yu had been watching Sang Zhao eat this whole time, so he immediately noticed when Sang Zhao’s gaze snapped toward the pair.
The kid froze, stopped chewing entirely, and just stared at them.
Tang Yu asked quietly, “Do you know them? Should we go say hi?”
It took Sang Zhao a while to answer, his voice sounding like it was coming from somewhere far away. “Ah? No.”
Tang Yu: …?
Really?
From his tone it didn’t sound like “no” at all. And his expression and posture absolutely screamed “I know them.”
The boy and girl looked pretty close, so Tang Yu mentally filed them away as a couple.
Although, they didn’t quite look like they were in that giddy honeymoon phase… He watched a little more closely and tried to judge.
Sure enough, the two of them leaned closer and talked for a bit, looking at each other.
The girl shook her head. The boy stepped back half a pace.
And then both fell silent, letting the air go heavy between them.
It nearly drove Sang Zhao insane.
One hand still holding his flatbread, the other braced on the edge of the bench, he stretched his whole body, craning forward. “What are they saying? What are they saying?”
If Tang Yu hadn’t grabbed him just in time, he probably would’ve bolted over there and tried to press his ear right up between their mouths.
Panicked, Tang Yu shoved him back down. “Calm down. Calm down. Why are you so worked up?”
Blindly, Sang Zhao asked, “Can you hear them? Can you?”
Tang Yu thought, how could I possibly hear that far?
They were way past human earshot.
He could still see, though. He watched the boy shake his head, then nod, then say something else.
Then the boy stepped forward and hugged the girl, and turned to leave.
And the moment he turned away, the girl rubbed a hand across her face.
She pulled a small handkerchief from her bag, wiped her eyes, then held it over her face and didn’t move again.
…She was crying, or close enough, he judged.
He was just about to tell Sang Zhao when something dark and solid slammed into his arms, and a blur of orange shot past him.
The blur launched itself like a bullet.
For a moment, Tang Yu swore he could hear the air crack around his ears.
His brain stalled.
…What was that?
He looked down automatically and saw the thing stuffed into his arms was the half-eaten flatbread.
Then he turned his head and saw the blur was actually Sang Zhao’s orange head and the rest of his body.
Tang Yu: ?!
He lunged to his feet and looked up just in time to see Sang Zhao hit top speed and streak toward the girl.
Tang Yu ran after him. He was slower, so on the way over he heard that Sang Zhao wasn’t even trying to comfort her.
All he heard was, “What’s wrong?”
Softly, the girl replied, “It’s nothing.”
She hadn’t intended to say anything. She just wanted to brush him off.
But when she lifted her head and saw Sang Zhao’s expression, anger mixed with concern, for some reason, all her bottled-up grievances surged straight to her throat.
Before she knew it, she was confessing the truth.
“I broke up with my boyfriend. He turned into an ex.”
Sang Zhao nodded to show he understood.
Oh. An ex-husband-type guy.
And while Tang Yu was still halfway there, he watched in shock as the two exchanged only those few lines, and then Sang Zhao spun around and charged toward the ex.
He grabbed the guy by the back of the collar, caught his waist with his other arm, twisted cleanly, and slammed him into a full-on over-the-shoulder throw.
Tang Yu: “…Huh?”
Girl clutching her handkerchief: “Huh?!”
The ex sprawled on the ground: “Ah—!”
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