Chapter 69 — Happy Birthday, Chen Jingshen
The car flew down the road, faster than the rest of the traffic.
A reply popped up quickly. Chen Jingshen glanced at the single “Oh,” tossed his phone back into his backpack, and looked at the woman in the driver’s seat.
Ji Lianyi stared straight ahead. Her hair was hastily pinned up with wisps loose behind her ears. Lip color brightened her face, but she still looked exhausted.
She had been like this for a while now, if anything getting worse. Chen had asked a few times. She would look at him for a long moment and then shake her head, saying it was nothing.
Today she had messaged before school ended, saying she would pick him up.
They were already stuck before the overpass. Watching the red sea of taillights, Chen asked, “Did something happen?”
“No,” came the same answer as always.
“You look tired.”
“Maybe I handled too many things recently, and now that I have down time it feels worse.” Her hands tightened on the wheel. She turned to him. “From now on Mom will drive you to and from school every day.”
“You do not need to.”
“Breakfast together, then we leave. After school, come out on time. I will be at the gate,” she said, ignoring his refusal. “Just like today.”
He had meant to argue, but when he turned he met her eyes. It looked like she had not slept for nights. Her beautiful phoenix eyes were dull.
A horn sounded behind them, urging. Chen pulled his gaze away.
“Got it,” he said. “There are a lot of cars. Drive slowly.”
After a shower he sat at his desk and switched on the lamp. He had just taken out his error log when several heavy thumps sounded from outside.
The living room lights were off, the space dark. Chen moved quickly to Ji Lianyi’s door and knocked twice. No response. He pushed it open.
She was bent over at her desk, elbows braced on the table, fingers sunk in her hair. Her hair was a mess. A glass had shattered all over the floor. So had her phone.
Her breathing was harsh. She lifted her head dazedly at the sound and took a long time to find her voice. “... Why are you here?”
Standing in the doorway, Chen suddenly realized why her state felt familiar.
When she learned her husband had a child outside older than her own son, she had been like this for a long time too.
“I heard something.” He went over and crouched to pick up the glass.
“Don’t.” She stood up in a rush and pushed her hair back. “You will cut your hand. Mom will do it…”
But Chen had already gathered up the shards and dumped them in the trash. He picked up the phone from the floor and was about to hand it over when the screen lit.
The next second his hand was empty. She had already taken it and flipped it face down on the desk.
“I knocked my water over.” She forced a lightness into her voice. “Did I scare you?”
“No.” Chen thought for a moment. “Are you feeling unwell?”
She hesitated, then shook her head. “No. Why would I? Go back to your room. Finish your work and sleep early. We are getting up for breakfast tomorrow.”
He frowned, about to say more, but her hand pressed between his shoulder blades. “Enough. Mom has work to do…”
“I thought you said there is no work for now.”
“Project wrap-up.” She looked at her precious son and smiled. “Give it a little time. It will be fine. Really.”
Back at his desk, his mind kept circling her reaction.
Was that family still contacting her? Or was the divorce not fully settled?
He spun his pen again and again, unable to gather his thoughts, until his phone rang on the desk.
He saw the “What are you doing?” from his boyfriend, did not reply, and hit video call straight away.
Yu Fan was sitting on the balcony in the breeze. The unexpected call made him blink. Since school started, they did homework in the classroom together every afternoon, and with Chen’s mom often stepping into his room, they had not videoed at all lately.
Yu Fan picked up at once. Wind blew his messy hair into his face; he shoved it back, pale features coming clear. “You home?”
Chen: “Yeah. My mom came for me. I got back as soon as school ended.”
Yu Fan made a quiet sound and sank back against the security grid. “I thought something happened…”
“She will be coming for a while.”
Yu Fan paused.
Which meant after school Chen would have to leave, no more lingering in someone else’s class to do practice sets.
Seeing he said nothing, Chen added, “Her mood is not good lately. Something might have happened. In a few days—”
“Actually perfect. Staying after school every day is annoying as hell.” Yu Fan lifted his brows like it was nothing, then added, awkwardly unfamiliar, “Keep her company.”
“Mm. Want to work for a bit?”
Yu Fan was about to say sure, then switched mid-sentence. “Hang up and do it. What if your mom walks in.”
Two seconds of silence. “All right.”
His fingers had just moved when Yu Fan suddenly shouted, “Wait!”
“Hm?”
The video had come out of nowhere, and as they were about to hang up Yu Fan remembered why he opened his mouth. He dragged a hand through his hair. “This Friday after school… are you free?”
Chen’s eyes flicked to the calendar by habit. Friday. August 11. Every year on this date, Ji Lianyi ordered a gift delivered home. Over time he had come to remember his own birthday that way.
“I am. Why?”
“What do you think? Of course I want you to come out,” Yu Fan said. “Internet cafe.”
“…”
Friday after school, the bell rang and Yu Fan was out the gate.
He went to a mall he rarely visited, asked a staffer for directions, rode the escalator, and went straight to a pen shop in the back corner on the third floor.
The shop was quiet. The owner sat up from her phone at once when she saw him.
He had spent days reading reviews online before picking this place. Staring at the glass cases full of fountain pens made his head swim.
“Welcome.” The owner came right over. “What are you looking for? For yourself or a gift? Want recommendations?”
“A gift,” Yu Fan said.
“Friend or elder?” she asked, bending to pull out a few popular models.
His scanning gaze paused. He answered quickly, “For my partner.”
She lined up several delicate pale-colored pens. “Great timing, these are this season’s releases. Only our shop has them in Nancheng. Girls have been buying these—”
“For a guy.”
“... Huh?”
“That one.” Yu Fan tapped a deep blue pen in the display case. “How much?”
“999.”
Hands in his pockets, he stared down the pen for a long time, then clenched his teeth. “... Wrap it.”
Gift in hand, he walked while doing mental math on his living expenses. He used to spend without thinking. He had not planned on college, life felt pointless, so he blew money in a self-destructive way, mostly on cigarettes and computers.
From now on, thirty or less a day. No smoking, no net cafe. He should be able to get through senior year…
Half-distracted, he paused when something in a window caught his eye, then stepped back.
He looked at the small cakes in the display while two little men in his head brawled.
-Save money.
-You cannot have a birthday without cake.
-How old is Chen Jingshen? He still needs cake?
-However old, he is your boyfriend.
-Two guys eating cake together, is that childish or what.
Three minutes later, Yu Fan stood before the clerk, face blank. “One small cake—”
His phone dinged. He checked it.
[s: Sorry, I cannot make it. Family dinner came up. It will go late.]
Chen was ready to head out when he opened the door and saw Ji Lianyi fully dressed.
Seeing he was prepared, she seemed surprised. Earrings in hand, she told him to get in the car first. They were going to grandmother’s to celebrate.
He said he had plans. Her face turned decidedly ugly. She forbade it, then put his grandmother on the phone. Mother and son stood off for half an hour, and it was only when Chen spotted several boxes of medication in her half-open purse that he gave in.
He had never been close to either side of the family. He sat with several cousins whose names he could not recall and listened coolly to their games. In their eyes, he was “someone else’s perfect kid.” One asked if he wanted to play. Another immediately said, how could Chen Jingshen play games?
Then he was nudged forward to sit in front of the elders. He sat there for ages while they chatted about grades and futures. The room was lively. He hardly spoke at all.
Midway, a message from his boyfriend: [How is the food?]
Chen replied: [Worse than oden.]
At last the long evening ended and they drove home. Both remembered their quarrel before they left, so neither spoke.
Inside the house, Chen was about to head upstairs when Ji called to him.
“Did you hear what your grandma said today?” she asked. “That school in New York—”
“I am not going abroad,” Chen said lightly.
“You could at least learn about—”
“I am not going.” He kept his tone even. “Drop it.”
They stared at each other for a few seconds. She looked away, signaling the conversation was over.
In his room, he felt nothing but tired. He tossed his gift boxes onto the desk and was on his way to the shower when a message came in.
[-: You home?]
[s: Just got in.]
[-: Oh. Corridor.]
He stared at the text for two seconds before moving. He opened the window, stepped onto the balcony, and looked down.
The streetlights in the complex were dim. Tree branches swung in the summer wind. In the thick shadows he could make out a boy on the stone bench. One elbow propped impatiently on the armrest, one leg crossed over the other. Something sat in the empty space beside him.
When Chen’s call connected, Yu Fan had just swatted away a mosquito.
“Chen Jingshen.” He tipped his head back and poured all his bug-bite irritation at the boy standing on the balcony. “Why the hell does your complex plant this many trees?”
After a day of being strung tight, Chen suddenly laughed. “Wait there. I will come down.”
“Don’t,” Yu Fan said quickly. “Just stay on the balcony. Your living room curtains are not fully closed. Your mom is on the sofa on the phone.”
The second he finished, he felt like a creep. Peeking into someone’s home?
Silence for a moment, as if Chen was weighing it. Then: “How did you get in?”
“The guard knows me. I said I was here to walk your dog.”
“When did you get here? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Not long.” Yu Fan’s answer was vague. “You talk too much, Chen Jingshen.”
He stood, stepping out of the shadows to meet Chen’s eyes. “Can you see me clearly?”
Chen said he could.
Then he watched Yu Fan turn, pick up what was on the bench, fuss with it a bit, and then a spark flared in the dark.
Yu Fan turned back holding a tiny cake with lit candles. One hand held the cake, the other held his phone. He tipped his head back and said, “Chen Jingshen, happy eighteenth.”
All day long, he had been dragged around to play the birthday boy, with lines limited to “yes,” “no,” and “no.” That boring script was supposed to be over. Then Yu Fan, standing far below with a palm-sized cake, told him happy birthday, and the day warmed again.
Chen stood there a long time before he asked, “Where did you get a lighter? I thought you quit smoking.”
“…”
His boyfriend’s face went cold. “The cake shop gave it to me. I said I quit, I quit. You think I would lie to you?”
The tiny flame made Yu Fan’s eyes glow bright. He frowned, impatient. “Hurry up and blow. My arm is tired.”
Chen blew, short and soft. A breath of wind, and the candles went out.
Both of them paused. Yu Fan stared at the cake for a second, then looked up again. “All right. You are not getting this cake. I will eat it.”
“That is allowed?”
“What else? You want me to scale the wall and bring it up?”
“You could try.”
Yu Fan held back the urge to pitch the cake at his face, sat back down, and forked a bite into his mouth.
“How is it?” Chen asked.
Yu Fan could not remember the last time he ate cake. “Sweet as hell.”
One ate and one watched. They looked at each other like idiots for a while.
“Or I could jump down,” Chen said.
“And I will call an ambulance?”
“…”
He stifled a laugh and watched Yu Fan work away until the cake was gone. “Why did you suddenly come?”
Because I saw your texts and you did not sound happy.
Yu Fan said, “Had nothing better to do. Wandered around and ended up here.”
“With a cake?”
“Found it on the road.” Yu Fan’s face did not change. “It already had your name on it.”
He could not take another bite. He put the cake back in the box and got up to put it in the fridge for tomorrow. “I am heading back.”
“Mhm. Do not hang up.”
“… Okay.”
Yu Fan picked up the cake box, then remembered something and took a small black gift box from his pocket. “Right, Chen Jingshen, your present. I am hiding it under this tree. Wait till I go, then come get it.”
“I will come now,” Chen said.
“Don’t. Your mom might see.” Yu Fan lifted his cake box. “I am going.”
He walked a bit, then turned back. Chen was still on the balcony, the light off, a tall, slim outline.
He remembered when Chen had gotten out of the car with his mom earlier, neither of them speaking, his hands full of gifts and no expression on his face.
It was his birthday and he came home looking lonely.
Chen was about to ask why he had stopped when Yu Fan turned back, returned to the bench, and looked up again.
“I never told you this, did I,” he said.
“What?”
“I like you too.”
A cool night breeze moved the leaves, whispering. His boyfriend’s hair flew in the wind, and his eyes shone faintly in the dark as he looked up.
“Happy birthday, Chen Jingshen,” he said again, this time on the phone.
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