Chapter 55 – I Saw Your Cool Smile Turn Shy
After school, the campus broadcast station always played warm, youthful songs.
One of the speakers sat right by the stands, so anyone walking past had to raise their voice.
Right then, the radio was playing Landy Wen’s “Summer Wind.”
When the line “I saw your cool smile turn shy” came up, the labor committee girl couldn’t help turning around for the nth time to look at the two boys a few steps above her.
“Class monitor, a-are you sure it’s fine?” her voice shook. “Yu Fan is still grabbing Chen Jing Shen by the collar…”
The class monitor, Gao Shi, sat with his legs spread, wiping sweat with his hand. “It’s fine. They’re close.”
“Huh? But Yu Fan’s face is really red, and he looks so fierce…”
“Must be the heat. He just cleaned like a beast.” Gao Shi chuckled. “Told you before, Yu Fan is actually a good guy. You didn’t believe me.”
But Chen Jingshen’s ears were red too. He couldn’t be “tired” as well, right? The labor committee girl was about to say more when she saw Chen Jing Shen turn aside and smile.
She stared, heartbeat kicking up, and only snapped out of it when Yu Fan barked at a student below for littering. She whirled back around.
“What are they talking about? Even the top student is smiling,” Gao Shi glanced back too, then added a few seconds later, “He’s got a great smile. Just doesn’t use it much, huh?”
“Yeah…” the labor committee girl blinked. “No idea what they’re saying. Music’s too loud.”
When the song ended, the student council finally arrived. They looked up and met Yu Fan’s grim reaper face on the stand, dropped their eyes at once, ticked a bunch of boxes on their clipboard, and told them the job passed inspection.
“Alright, hand me the brooms. I’ll take them back. You two can just head out and come back tonight,” Gao Shi stood, slapping dust off his pants.
“No need, I’m going to the classroom for my homework anyway, so I won’t need a bag tonight,” the labor committee girl said.
“True. Yu Fan, you coming back to the classroom with us?”
“No need. I’ll bring his homework,” Chen Jingshen stood up. “We’ll head out.”
Yu Fan: “…”
By this time there weren’t many students left on campus. Some were just now leaving after duty, hurrying alone. Some had just finished playing ball, a group of boys shoving each other toward the gate.
The last handful were walking in pairs. Those were usually one boy and one girl, keeping that subtle, ambiguous distance between them. Their steps slowed in a quiet rhythm as they inched like snails toward the gate, whispering secrets.
Of course, some didn’t say a word at all.
Hands shoved in his pockets, Yu Fan walked straight ahead without turning. His head was still bubbling with the late shock of what he had said, and the embarrassment made his steps unconsciously quicken.
Until two slow walkers ahead forced him to stop.
The sprinkler system had just kicked on, drenching half the path, so he had to trail behind them. After inching along for a bit, he couldn’t stand it anymore and furrowed his brows, ready to complain when …
The boy in front leaned slightly toward the girl and brushed the back of her hand.
Her laugh stopped. She dropped her gaze, then the two of them, quiet and shy, laced their fingers together.
Yu Fan: “…”
Bold, aren’t we, holding hands right on the path?
Where’s Fat Tiger? He’s lightning fast whenever he’s catching me.
Expression blank, Yu Fan waited a few beats, then pulled one hand from his pocket and let it dangle in the humid air.
It had never felt weird to walk with his arms down before. Now, no matter how he placed it, it felt stiff.
F***, what is wrong with me…
After a moment of awkwardness, he cursed himself inwardly and started to stuff his hand back into his pocket, when something bumped his knuckles.
By reflex, Yu Fan hooked his fingers and caught something paper.
“?” He paused and looked down. It was his physics workbook.
“The math test is clipped inside. School activity tonight, they’ll collect it the day after tomorrow,” Chen Jing Shen said.
“…”
Seeing him stare in silence, Chen Jing Shen asked, “What’s wrong?”
Face wooden, Yu Fan bundled the homework together and carried it by the spine. “Nothing.”
The path widened near the gate. Yu Fan was about to step around the couple in front when someone tugged on his shirt.
“You coming to the movie tonight?” Chen Jing Shen asked.
The movie night was arranged by the education bureau. Each term they had to do one, always “positive energy” films.
To avoid using class time, their school played it in the evening. They hung a big screen on the field, students carried their own chairs down, and discipline was lax. In the dark, there wasn’t much to enforce anyway.
Zhuang Fangqin scared Yu Fan with roll call every time, as if Yu Fan got spooked easily. He never went.
But there was no way Chen Jing Shen could skip. If he went, there’d be no way to record problems tonight, no call, no drop by his place.
“I’ll come,” Yu Fan muttered.
He felt Chen Jing Shen glance at him, then after a moment heard, “Okay.”
Back home, Yu Fan tossed the empty cola bottle into a drawer and took a long shower.
Cold water crashed over his head and streamed down to his feet. He held his breath under it for ages, stepping forward only when he was close to breathless. He leaned into the wall and thunked his forehead against the tile.
Then he just rested his head there and scrubbed his face hard.
He and Chen Jing Shen were dating.
And Chen Jing Shen called him boyfriend.
F***…
Even cold water couldn’t cool his face. Yu Fan’s brain felt hot. He stepped back and turned the cold on again.
The movie started at seven, and there wasn’t much time in between. By the time he finished showering and changed, it was almost time to head back.
When he reached school, it was close to seven. Gao Shi was already at the classroom door organizing chair-carrying duty.
Since there was no evening study, discipline was lax. Zuo Kuan had wandered into their class to sit with Wang Lu’an and go down together later.
Yu Fan’s first instinct on entering was to check his deskmate’s seat. Empty.
“Yu Fan? Damn, I thought you weren’t coming,” Zuo Kuan blinked. “Your lips look kinda pale.”
“I’m fine.” Yu Fan asked, “Heading down now?”
“Hold up. No rush. The hallway is packed. If we go now, we’ll be stuck forever. We wait till it clears,” Wang Lu’an said, a seasoned pro.
Yu Fan grunted, slouched into his seat, spun a pen twice, then tried for casual. “Chen Jingshen not here?”
“Doesn’t look like it. Haven’t seen him.” Wang Lu’an spoke, then caught something out of the corner of his eye and leaned toward the window. “Zhu Xu!”
The guy outside stopped. “What?”
“What are you doing? You’re bringing two chairs to a movie? What, is your butt that big?”
“Are you stupid, Wang Lu’an?” Zhang Xianjing was scrolling on her phone in front of them. She turned and said, “Obviously he’s carrying for his girlfriend.”
Wang Lu’an: “…”
Zhu Xu, all muscle from PE, gave a bashful grin. “I’m off, she’s waiting.” He hefted two chairs and disappeared into the staircase crowd.
“We’re only on the third floor. It’s one chair. Overkill much?” Wang Lu’an muttered.
“You know jacks***. That’s called boyfriend energy.” Zhang Xianjing rolled her eyes, stood, and shoved her phone into her pocket. “Ting-bao, let’s go.”
Zuo Kuan hopped up, posturing. “You sure your arms can lift a chair? Forget it, I’ll help—”
Zhang Xianjing lifted the chair one-handed and gave him a look that said, you talking sh**?
Zuo Kuan: “…”
More people streamed past in the corridor. Yu Fan sat there spacing out until he finally pulled out his phone and sent a text.
【-: Where are you?】
Before long, only the three of them were left in the room, and the hallway noise eased.
From the field came the sounds of the AV setup being tested. Wang Lu’an put away his phone and hopped down from the desk. “Let’s go too or Fangqin will chew us out.”
Yu Fan stared at his blank screen. He was about to tell them to go ahead when his palm buzzed. A message popped up.
【s: On the field. Physics teacher stopped me on the way back to class.】
Zuo Kuan walked two steps hugging his chair, then yelped as someone jabbed his leg with a chair leg. He turned. “What?”
“You love carrying chairs, don’t you?” Wang Lu’an said. “Come carry mine. I permit it.”
“F*** off, I’ll toss you and your chair off the third floor!”
“Damn you, you sexist pig!”
They bickered the whole way, until the guy behind them lost patience. “You going or not? Move.”
“Yu Fan, be the judge. Isn’t this dog favoring girls over—” Wang Lu’an turned and froze.
“I’m not F***ing—” Zuo Kuan turned too, and froze as well.
By seven, the sky was fully dark.
All three grades crammed onto the field, squeezed shoulder to shoulder, chatter erupting despite Hu Pang barking through the mic again and again.
“I know some of you don’t want to join the training program, but think it over,” the physics teacher finally wrapped up after ten minutes.
“Okay,” Chen Jingshen said.
He said goodbye and glanced toward his class’s section. He didn’t see the one he was looking for.
He checked his phone. No new messages. He turned to head back to the classroom for a chair and stopped dead.
Only the streetlights and the dim glow from the screen lit the field. In that half-light, his deskmate walked toward him with two chairs, expressionless.
Yu Fan thunked the chairs down at his feet. Before he could say anything, Wang Lu’an piped up first, “Top student, if your arms are too weak to carry a chair, just tell me! Next time I’ll bring it for you!”
Chen Jing Shen: “.”
He flicked a look at his deskmate, but his deskmate’s eyes darted away.
Chen Jing Shen took the chairs and said mildly, “Okay.”
Space was tight, so their class was clustered right up against Classes 6 and 8.
The leaders sat up front, and since this was extracurricular, the teachers let the rear rows slide.
The movie was an old one, upright and serious. Not many were actually watching. The last few rows of boys had their chairs all over the place, joking loudly, buzzing with life.
A PE kid from Class 8 said, “You guys missed it earlier. You didn’t see how sickly sweet Zhu Xu and his girl were!”
Zhu Xu and his girlfriend were sitting together. The girl flushed at once. Zhu Xu cupped her ears, laughing. “Shut it, you clowns!”
“How sweet? Spill!” Wang Lu’an leaned in.
“So he carried her chair down, right? And she goes *ahem* ‘Thank you, Xu-It’s commonly used between couples, playfully to act cute,
or by parents when referring to children. baobao
“Sh***! yue!!” Zuo Kuan gag-laughed.
“And then Zhu Xu messed up her hair and said um ‘You’re welcome. That’s what baobao should do.’”
“Hahahahahahaha!” Wang Lu’an’s laugh was so loud that Zhuang Fangqin’s heels nearly flew from the front row.
Yu Fan couldn’t help laughing too, so when Chen Jing Shen called his name, he only had time to toss back, “What?”
“Give me your hand,” Chen Jing Shen said.
Yu Fan was still listening to Zhu Xu’s saga. Busy, he stuck his hand out toward Chen Jing Shen without looking.
The laugh died in his throat the next second.
Long fingers slid through his and laced tight. A warm palm pressed against his own. Chen Jing Shen held his hand, easy and intimate.
“Thanks, boyfriend,” Chen Jing Shen murmured, barely audible.
“…”
Yu Fan hadn’t been laughing loudly, so when it cut off, no one noticed.
A moment later, Wang Lu’an was in the middle of another Zhu Xu disaster and turned to ask, “We both saw that, right, Yu Fan?”
Yu Fan paused, leaned back against his chair, stared at the big screen, and answered absently, “…Yeah.”
Their chairs were almost touching, arms pressed together. Their joined hands hid in the narrow space between them, tucked into the dark.
He knew no one could see, but Yu Fan still felt his heartbeat snag.
It was just holding hands, so why did it feel more exciting than a fight.
He stared at the screen with a stiff face and couldn’t help moving a finger. “Chen Jingshen… there are people.”
“Mm.” Chen Jing Shen pressed his restless fingers down. “Your hands are cold. Just a bit longer.”
“…”
When Zhuang Fangqin finally lost her patience with the back row’s noise and stalked down the aisle like a storm, the two boys let go.
It had been only a few minutes, but when Yu Fan shoved his hand back clumsily into his pocket, his palm and face were both undeniably hot.
Halfway through the film, the boys finally tired themselves out and quieted down.
Not long after, restlessness rose again. Students started slipping off the field when the teachers weren’t looking. Half went off in groups to play. The other half…
Sitting in the last row gave you a perfect view of who left and how.
When the first couple snuck off, someone wolf-whistled.
Yu Fan blinked and said nothing.
A second pair hurried away with heads down.
When the picture on the screen went dark, Yu Fan snuck a glance to his side, then reeled his eyes back fast.
…
When Zhu Xu and his girlfriend got up to slip out, Zuo Kuan finally cracked.
Leaning back, rocking his chair, he swore under his breath, “Sh***, by now the lab building must be full of these stinky couples. I’m mad on Fat Tiger’s behalf!”
True.
How had Yu Fan never noticed there were this many couples at their school?
A bit later, Gao Shi and their famously aloof, don’t-talk-to-me chemistry rep dashed past them, faces red.
Yu Fan: “?”
He watched Gao Shi until he vanished off the field, then turned back, only to meet Chen Jingshen’s eyes.
Light from the screen carved his features in sharp lines.
Chen Jing Shen lifted an eyebrow, silent question: Us?
Yu Fan narrowed his eyes, silent answer: Shut up. No way.
Chen Jing Shen’s gaze fell and he looked back to the screen. After a moment he said, “Got it.”
Yu Fan was about to lower his head and play on his phone when the boy beside him added softly, “Two boys getting seen wouldn’t be good. I know. It’s fine.”
“…”
The film hit an action scene. Gunfire thundered. The temporary speakers were lousy, and the boom rattled your ears.
Chen Jing Shen frowned at the noise. Then an elbow jabbed his arm hard.
He turned to see his boyfriend scowling, about to start a fight, and heard him grit out in a low voice, “Five minutes. Lab building, first floor.”
Yu Fan stood up. Before leaving, he bent down again and ground out one more line.
“Walk naturally. Don’t let anyone notice.”
“Okay,” Chen Jing Shen said.
And he watched his boyfriend march off stiff as a board, arms and legs moving in the same rhythm, on his way to the lab building.
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