Chapter 49 — Why Does He Want To Kiss Chen Jingshen So Badly
By noon the next day, sunlight slapping his eyelids dragged Yu Fan awake. Only then did he realize he had forgotten to pull the curtains again.
It was already the hottest stretch of the year. Even the air seemed to shimmer with heat.
He winced away from the sun, eyes still closed as he groped to yank the curtains and flicked on the fan by the bed.
The cool breeze helped. He lay flat again, stared at the cracked ceiling for a while, then reached to the side of his pillow and held up the Doberman plush he had gotten last night. He quietly stared it down.
Then, for no good reason, he punched the plush in the face.
Should have done that to Chen Jingshen at the hospital.
Expression blank, Yu Fan analyzed it in his head.
The problem was Chen had kissed him too suddenly and pulled away too fast. If Chen had stuck his tongue in, and reached out to touch him again, Yu Fan definitely would have had a clean shot to land that punch…
After a while of serious analysis, heat crept over the tips of his ears. He shut his eyes, forcibly cut off the line of thought, scrubbed his face hard with both hands, and cranked the fan up another notch.
Damn weather. Sweltering.
He set the dog plush on the headboard, pulled out his phone and opened WeChat, eyes going straight to Chen Jingshen’s chat without thinking.
At three in the morning, Chen had sent, “I got home.” Yu Fan had not replied, and Chen had not said anything else.
The usual group chat was sitting at 99+, messages refreshing nonstop. Seeing his name in the preview, Yu Fan propped one arm behind his head and lazily tapped in to scroll.
Zhang Xianjing had posted the photos from the amusement park. Who knew how many she took. Yu Fan had to keep flicking up for ages just to get through them.
The first dozens were all selfies of Zhang Xianjing and Ke Ting.
Yu Fan looked at Ke Ting a little longer. He had barely spoken to her. She was quiet, head always down. They had been in the same class for so long, she had even sat in front of him for most of a semester, and he still could not have said what she looked like.
In the photos, Zhang Xianjing’s head rested against Ke Ting’s. Ke Ting smiled shyly, those round eyes sneaking glances toward Zhang Xianjing.
He scrolled and scrolled. Still selfies.
His patience was almost gone when he finally saw himself in the next shot.
More accurately, the six of them, from behind. In the warm gold of the night market, Zuo Kuan and Wang Lu’an had their arms slung over each other’s shoulders, Zhang Xianjing was holding Ke Ting’s hand while pointing at a cotton candy stall.
Yu Fan had both hands in his pockets, walking at the back with Chen Jingshen. The entrance to the night market had been narrow and crowded, so they had been forced to brush shoulders for a bit.
He stared at the photo for a while, then could not help pinching to zoom, narrowing his eyes in irritation.
How the hell were Chen Jingshen’s shoulders that much wider than his?
【Zuo Kuan: Who took that shot from behind? Do you even know how to frame? How’d you make me look shorter than Wang Lu’an?】
【Wang Lu’an: Aren’t you shorter? Are you even 175?】
【Zhang Xianjing: I asked a passerby. Looks good. If you hate it, mosaic yourself out.】
【Zuo Kuan: … Wang Lu’an, just wait till school.】
【Wang Lu’an: Huh? You aren’t planning to puke on me again, are you?】
【Zuo Kuan: F*** your mom!】
【Wang Lu’an: Seriously though, the night market ones are great. I set one as my phone background.】
【Zhang Xianjing: Yup, Yu Fan took those. I did not expect he could shoot that well either. @- Congratulations, you are now the South City No. 7 High School’s school flower’s exclusive photographer.】
【Zhang Xianjing: [photo] Except this one. I must have tapped the wrong button?】
It was still that warm gold glow of the night market, except now there was a close, blurry white silhouette in the frame.
It was when Chen Jingshen handed him the plush and he accidentally hit the shutter.
By the time he finished reading, ten minutes had passed. Yu Fan was at the sink brushing his teeth, staring at that throwaway photo for a few seconds before exiting to save a handful of the others.
【-: Yeah, mis-tap. Delete it.】
His phone buzzed the second it sent.
【s：Awake?】
No. That line in the group chat was typed by a ghost.
He said that in his head, then kept brushing. In the mirror, his right cheek was still bruised and there was a piece of gauze stuck to the left. Yu Kaiming had left a bloody scratch last night. Opening his mouth to brush made the cut at the corner itch. Maybe the nurse had slathered too much ointment. He must have smeared some into his mouth while sleeping. The taste was weird.
Did Chen Jingshen get any of that ointment when he kissed him?
Yu Fan abruptly sped up, then ducked his head and typed a perfunctory reply.
【-: No.】
【s：Mm. Then open the door for me.】
Chen Jingshen had barely sent it when footsteps thumped inside. The door squeaked open.
Yu Fan still had his toothbrush in his mouth, hair a mess, face full of injuries. He stared, blank.
“What are you doing here?” After a beat, he mumbled around the toothbrush, the brush bobbing with his words. “When did you get here?”
Chen was by the balcony, putting his phone down. “Just now. What do you want for breakfast?”
Yu Fan blinked. “I don’t know.”
Chen set the thermos lunch box on the balcony. “Then have congee.”
Footsteps clattered on the stairs above, along with low voices.
“Did you hear the noise downstairs last night?”
“I did. Scared me to death… Hey, you don’t think anyone died, right? I almost called the police.”
“Don’t. We tried getting involved before, what good did it do? And those two downstairs don’t look like good people. We call the cops and they will say we are nosy. Forget it…”
Yu Fan had heard stuff like that since he was a kid. He usually let it blow by like wind.
But right now he suddenly did not want Chen Jingshen to hear, and he did not want anyone to see Chen standing here.
So he yanked Chen inside by the strap of his backpack.
“Why are you wearing a backpack?” He had only realized after pulling, and frowned.
“Brought homework,” Chen said. “Since you have two days off, finish the Evolution Edition?”
Yu Fan still had hold of the strap. He very much wanted to drag Chen back out the door.
Chen glanced around. The furniture was upright again, but what had been smashed was still smashed. The place looked rough.
“Did he come back?” Chen asked.
Yu Fan had not said who he fought with last night, but Chen had already guessed. The neighbors upstairs had confirmed it.
“No. He doesn’t have the guts.”
When Yu Fan got home he had done a quick clean. Anything small and broken he had tossed into garbage bags and dumped into Yu Kaiming’s room.
On a different day he would have wrecked Yu Kaiming’s room for good measure. Last night his head was a mess and he had not gotten around to it.
“Stop staring. Get in my room,” Yu Fan said, letting go as he shuffled back toward the bathroom in slippers, toothbrush working.
“Okay.” Chen hefted the backpack strap. At the doorway he added mildly, “Brush lighter. Your mouth is cut.”
The brushing stopped dead.
A few seconds later came urgent gargling, then a clear, aggrieved curse. “F*** you, Chen Jingshen, I… I like brushing hard! Don’t f***ing tell me what to do!”
It took Yu Fan another ten minutes to come out.
His hair was dripping. He dropped into the chair with his eyes tight, and the poor chair screeched back under the weight.
Leg crossed, face cold, he stared at the lunch box and was about to tell Chen to get out, box and all.
“Maybe you should just order takeout,” Chen said suddenly.
“Huh?” Not expecting Chen to preempt him, Yu Fan turned, the ice in his expression tinged with confusion.
“I am afraid you won’t like it.” Chen’s tone was mild. “I got up early and stared at recipes for a long time. Ruined one pot. Might still not taste very good.”
A whole bowl of congee later, Yu Fan still felt full through the afternoon.
With senior year approaching, the teachers were piling on more and more work. The problems kept getting deeper. Yu Fan fought for the entire afternoon and managed only two sheets of the so-called reinforcement packet. Flipping through after, he had left more blanks than answers.
Which was why it was dusk and Chen still had not finished explaining.
After running through one long problem twice, Chen asked, “Does it make sense?”
Yu Fan propped his head on his hand and stared at the scratch paper for a long time. His face went from numb to annoyed.
Is this supposed to be human language?
A hand pressed his hair without warning. “This one is a bit beyond the syllabus,” Chen said. “Not getting it is normal. Take a break.”
Yu Fan’s brain was fogged by the problems. It took him a second to remember someone had just messed his hair again.
He turned to snap and saw Chen tilt back a bottle of water. The line of his throat rose and fell as he swallowed. His fingers curved lightly around the plastic.
Chen’s fingers were long and slim. Whatever he held, he made it look like he was in lazy control.
Yu Fan went a little stiff. The back of his neck prickled.
Sensing the stare, Chen set the bottle down and slid a cool glance to the side.
Yu Fan’s desk was small. One person was fine. Two tall boys, less so.
Their arms brushed. Sometimes their knees knocked under the table. During explanations, he barely noticed. Now that it was quiet, Chen’s body heat was very obvious.
The moon hung high. The old complex was as quiet as it had been when they kissed yesterday.
Chen met his gaze, open and unbothered. The desk lamp traced his dark eyes like a silent hook.
Yu Fan decided the little fan he had used for seven years needed to be retired. The damn thing just blew the heat around. His grip on the pen tightened. He forced himself to look away. Last night he had bumped noses with Chen. It looked high, but poking it had not hurt much.
His eyes drifted down to Chen’s mouth. He used to think those lips were too coldly cut, too thin, probably no feeling if you touched them. In reality—
Heat surged. His heartbeat pounded at his eardrums. In that boiling quiet, Yu Fan finally gave in. He leaned in, inch by inch.
Chen did not move, letting him come closer. Two tangled breaths met in the space between. Either one only had to move a hair farther to touch.
Chen’s breath brushed Yu Fan’s mouth. Yu Fan’s head buzzed, one foot on the edge of a cliff.
“… Chen Jingshen.” After a long moment, he spoke.
Chen lowered his eyes at him and murmured, “Mm?”
“You should put some ointment on your mouth.”
Yu Fan rocked back, fished the ointment out of the drawer and tossed it to him. “Bathroom. There’s a mirror. I am… going for a smoke.”
Chen took the ointment and headed to the bathroom. Yu Fan took the balcony, sitting cross-legged with his back to the room as if someone might catch him in the act, posture ridiculous as he smoked.
He thunked his forehead twice against the security bars. His face and ears were hot enough to steam an egg. His heart was going wild and even his breathing would not even out.
I am so, so screwed.
What the hell. He had not been drinking tonight. Had not been fighting. Why was he still all messed up?
Why did he want to kiss Chen Jingshen so badly???
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