Chapter 44 — Go Eat With Your Ex-Deskmate
Yu Fan glanced to the side.
Chen Jingshen still had not buttoned up. His collar and fringe were a little messy, the nerdy aura scattered, and the sharp lines of his face looked less cold.
The moment Chen Jingshen lowered his eyes, Yu Fan snapped his head forward.
“… It’s not that I can’t talk. I don’t want to. You’re annoying.”
Once they passed the school gate, the street opened up. Yu Fan tightened his grip on the homework he was carrying and tossed back a curt, “I’m off,” then melted into the crowd without looking back.
It was Friday and dismissal time. The sidewalks were packed. Even the nameless snack stall in front of the old housing block had a line snaking down half the street.
Farther up was the barbershop Yu Fan went to most.
The place was tiny with the glass door propped open, some cheesy DJ track thumping from inside. A little blackboard stood out front in colored chalk: “The boss is in love! All services discounted today!”
Discounts made Yu Fan pause on instinct.
The next second, the glass door swung wider.
A clerk who knew him, hair dyed a classic scene-kid purple, jerked his chin. “Yu Fan, out of school already?”
The Yu father-and-son pair were infamous in this area. Neighbors avoided them if they could. The shop’s punky little crew were the exception. Whenever Yu Fan came to cut his hair, they always chatted him up.
Yu Fan grunted and pointed at the sign. “Didn’t your boss just have his second kid?”
“He says he and the missus are forever in love.” The guy snickered. “Anyway, cut or not? It’s discount day. Eight yuan for a cut. You in?”
Cut, of course cut, and shaved down too. He had already said as much to Chen Jingshen. Plus now there was a discount.
Yu Fan did not move.
“Whoa, you’re even bringing textbooks home?” The clerk blinked at the books in his hand, then, “By the way, with that hair, your school never gives you trouble?”
Another barber snorted while snipping a client. “Maybe the teachers think it looks good.”
Yu Fan’s fringe was long, but not stiff straight. Maybe because he liked to rake his hair, it always sat in a natural, airy fluff, the same style other boys demanded after a blow-dry. With his face and those two faint moles, the vibe was strong.
One hand in his pocket, Yu Fan suddenly turned his head. “Can you shave letters?”
The guy blinked. “Sure. All 26 letters.”
Yu Fan considered. “What about a pair of dragons playing with a pearl?”
“… No.”
“Oh.” Yu Fan turned to go, leaving a line to ride the wind. “Then forget it.”
“…”
Back home, Yu Fan headed straight for his room. He paused a moment as he took out his key.
Frowning, he bent to look closely.
There were two faint scratches by the lock.
A few years back, this neighborhood had lousy security. Their front door was often jimmied. A pried lock either broke or was scored with gouges.
The scratches on his door were much lighter and fewer. Too long to be ordinary wear, though.
Yu Fan rubbed a finger over them, then slid the key in. The lock turned smoothly.
Not broken.
He stood there for a few seconds before going in. Before shutting the door, he glanced at Yu Kaiming’s room next door, still tightly closed.
Nine that night, Chen Jingshen called. Yu Fan let it ring almost to timeout before picking up.
Chen Jingshen looked up from his problem set at the screen. Before Yu Fan’s face even fully appeared, the attack came first.
“What are you looking at?” Yu Fan sat cross-legged in his chair towel-drying his hair, expression sour and voice stiff. “The barbershop was closed today.”
“…”
“Closed on a Friday?” Chen Jingshen said. “They must not like making money.”
Yu Fan looked away with a vague grunt. “I’ll cut it tomorrow.”
After explaining a classic problem type, Chen Jingshen pulled a similar one and had him do it on the spot. The material was getting harder. Yu Fan’s head ached. He sprawled over the desk and clawed at his hair.
Silence for two minutes. Then Chen Jingshen said, “You actually don’t have to cut it.”
Yu Fan paused.
He had the rear camera on, the phone flat on the desk, so Chen Jingshen had only a black screen.
Even so, Chen Jingshen lifted his eyes like he was meeting Yu Fan’s gaze. “If you cut it, it will be easier to catch you sleeping in class.”
“…”
Yu Fan blinked. He could not remember the last time he had slept during a proper class. “… Right. I guess.”
“And if you buzz it, it will be prickly. Not comfortable to sleep on.”
“How would you know?”
“When I was little and it was hot, I shaved it. Could not sleep well for a while after.”
“Tch.” Yu Fan slid easily down the steps he had been handed, acting like he was still annoyed. “Fine then… I’ll think about it later.”
“Mhm. Got the solution?”
“No. Looking. Quit rushing me.” That time he really was annoyed.
Chen Jingshen twirled his pen and lowered his eyes. “Alright.”
When Hu Pang had stormed into Class Seven with a posse, they had come up empty.
Zhang Xianjing fed him a story about Chen Jingshen being sick and Yu Fan and Wang Lu’an taking him to the hospital.
Hu Pang trusted Chen Jingshen one hundred percent and dropped it. He just waved a big hand and ordered the ends of Zhang Xianjing’s curls cut off.
Because of that, she took it out on Wang Lu’an’s arm the next day and almost punched him into growing muscle.
A few days after midterms, another monthly exam rolled around. The monthly was simple, nothing like midterms. No seat changes, more like a classroom test.
They tested Wednesday, teachers graded, and by Friday the papers were handed back and explanations began.
During the break, Wang Lu’an held Yu Fan’s math paper and croaked, “How did you… get three points higher than me in math…”
High summer, the air was hot and thick. The big ceiling fans squeaked like they were dying.
Yu Fan was fanning himself with a folded physics paper. He looked up. “What are you trying to say?”
“Last semester’s finals, I beat you by dozens in math. This time the math was brutal, and you got a 70…” Wang Lu’an looked personally offended. “Tell me the truth. You’ve been sneaking off to cram school, haven’t you?”
Zhang Xianjing swung her crossed leg. “As if. He—”
“Kind of.”
Yu Fan’s arm was strong and each sweep of the paper sent a steady breeze across his deskmate’s face.
Both of them froze.
Zhang Xianjing stared. “No way…”
“I knew it! Otherwise how could your score jump that fast!” Wang Lu’an leaned in. “Which cram class? I’ll go with you.”
Yu Fan slowed his fanning and glanced instinctively at Chen Jingshen.
For some reason, he did not really want to say it.
Helping each other as classmates was normal, right?
Chen Jingshen was working through a paper, expression cool and focused.
Yu Fan thought he was not listening. The next second Chen Jingshen lifted his lashes, met Yu Fan’s eyes, and said lightly, “Wasn’t it a one-on-one tutor?”
Wang Lu’an: “Really?”
Yu Fan: “… I guess.”
“Then of course you improve fast. One-on-ones are targeted.” Wu Si walked over with a freshly completed paper, then bent. “Study god, what did you pick for this one?”
Wu Si sat with Wang Lu’an now. When Zhuang Fangqin had asked if he would switch, he had agreed right away. He did not need glasses, so he could sit anywhere, and he found Wang Lu’an pretty funny.
After some time, he decided it was a good swap. The kids around him had lower grades but did not make noise in class, and breaks were lively.
Chen Jingshen pulled his paper from the drawer and showed him.
“Fine, fine. Are one-on-ones expensive?” Wang Lu’an asked.
Yu Fan opened his phone and launched a game. “Not bad,” he mumbled.
“Chen Jingshen.”
A soft voice came from the window.
Yu Fan had just ended a round of Snake. His eyelid twitched and he looked over.
A boy stood outside.
His uniform was buttoned up to the top like a certain someone’s. He was a bit short, hair naturally wavy.
Maybe he had heard too many of Yu Fan’s glorious deeds. When their eyes met the boy flinched back a step.
Chen Jingshen: “What is it?”
“Can you come out for a minute?” The boy’s voice was light, pleasant, like the school radio at dismissal. “I wanted to discuss the physics competition tomorrow.”
Chen Jingshen put down his pen and went.
Since transferring in, this was the first time someone from another class had come looking for Chen Jingshen.
Wang Lu’an leaned on his hand and peered out, curious. “What class is that guy? I don’t think I’ve seen him.”
“Class Five,” Wu Si said.
“How do you know?”
Wu Si blinked. “We used to be in the same class. Of course I know. He was the study god’s deskmate back in Class One. Great at physics, competition level. Name’s Miao Chen.”
Oh. An old deskmate.
Yu Fan glanced out, then quickly looked back at his game.
“I see,” Wang Lu’an said. “Then why doesn’t he ever say hi to you?”
Wu Si: “We weren’t close. He got along better with the girls… and the study god. One of the few in our class who could say a couple more words to him.”
The two outside were by the back door. Yu Fan was close enough to hear both sides.
“For tomorrow’s competition, can we go together?” Miao Chen enunciated clearly, his voice easy on the ears, like a radio host. “The exam is at Yuhe High, right? I don’t really know the route.”
“No,” Chen Jingshen said.
“Oh…” Miao Chen paused. “Then when it ends it will be around noon. Want to get lunch and go over answers?”
The bell rang, ten long seconds of Für Elise drowning out the rest.
When it ended Yu Fan heard Miao Chen say, “Then let’s talk on WeChat.”
“Mhm.”
Chen Jingshen came back in through the back door, sat, and took out the monthly exam paper.
It was a study period. “Anything you did not understand from today’s explanations?” he asked.
“No.” Yu Fan kept his head down, still playing Snake.
“The last big question made sense?”
“Yeah.”
“How do you solve it.”
“…”
Chen Jingshen picked up the pen that had rolled to the edge of Yu Fan’s desk and put it back. “Take the paper home. I will explain it again over video tonight.”
They did not get to it that night.
The call had just connected when a buzzing came through. Yu Fan asked, “What is that sound?”
Chen Jingshen had set his phone on the desk, but at that he picked it up and glanced at it. “WeChat.”
Yu Fan watched him lower his eyes to the screen, thumb moving. Looked like he sent a reply.
After that, Chen Jingshen said, “Besides the last one, is there any—”
Buzz.
Chen Jingshen: “Hold on.”
It happened three times. Yu Fan wanted to light a cigarette and mash it into Chen Jingshen’s face through the screen. The cheap ballpoint pen in his hand squeaked from how hard he was clicking it.
Chen Jingshen: “Okay. Let’s start with the last—”
“Forget it.” Yu Fan flicked the pen away. “I’m not listening.”
Chen Jingshen paused and looked up. “What is it?”
Another buzz.
Yu Fan: “I don’t feel like studying tonight. Hanging up.”
The tone sounded and the screen went dark.
Chen Jingshen stared at the chat window for a moment, thinking it through, pretty sure he had not said anything wrong. His phone buzzed again.
[Mom: I told you those social apps are useless to you. They only increase meaningless communication.]
[Mom: Use them in college. Listen to me, alright?]
[Mom: And you have covered the camera for quite a long time lately.]
Chen Jingshen leaned back and typed.
[s: It is late there. Go to sleep.]
Yu Fan hung up and went to the balcony to smoke.
He leaned against the bars, brow furrowed into smoke. He exhaled a messy breath and flicked ash, thinking, irritated—
What the hell am I even mad about.
To be fair, Chen Jingshen had not done anything. Just replied to two messages from his old deskmate.
Oh, not two. Judging by his typing status, at least seven.
Quite chatty, huh. When Wang Lu’an tagged Chen Jingshen in the group, he barely replied a fart, just “mm” and “oh.” Yu Fan had almost thought the boy could not type outside their chat.
Yu Fan crushed his cigarette and reached for the pack again when his phone buzzed.
Chen Jingshen sent a video. The preview showed a solution for the last problem on the paper.
Then a voice message.
“Remember to do your homework. If you get stuck, call me. I am going to grind a few competition sets. I will be around all night.”
Yu Fan did not reply. He leaned on the security grate and flipped through Moments.
Before he realized it, he was on Chen Jingshen’s profile.
Empty. No cover photo, no bio, no posts. Boring like the person himself.
He backed out to their chat, meaning to go sleep. But after he climbed down from the balcony rail, he still could not help pressing the voice key, casual and lazy.
“Not calling. I am going to sleep. You can keep chatting with your ex-deskmate.”
He did not close the chat. After his message sent, the top line stayed on “typing…”
So he took the phone to brush his teeth and kept an eye on it in the rack.
Done washing up, still “typing.” He lay in bed and watched it for a few minutes.
Finally he could not stand it and sent: [What can possibly take you this long to type??]
On the other end, Chen Jingshen looked at what he had written and thought, forget it. If I send this, there goes the weekend.
[s: I’m not. Not chatting with anyone. Sleep.]
Yu Fan did not sleep well.
He stayed up breaking Chen Jingshen’s Snake record and then drifted off with the phone in hand.
Next morning, sunlight hit his eyelids and he remembered he had not closed the curtains.
He covered his eyes and reached to pull them shut. They were junk, barely blocking any light. The room went yellow.
No more sleep.
He played on his phone for a bit, got more bored the longer he scrolled.
Weekends lately were all kind of dull.
He lazed in bed a while longer. A tag popped up in WeChat.
[Zuo Kuan: @everyone League time. Five-stacks all day.]
[Wang Lu’an: Daddy’s here.]
[Zuo Kuan: Dumba**.]
[Zuo Kuan: Where’s Yu Fan. Drag him in. We need an AD.]
[Wang Lu’an: It’s not even eleven. He probably is not up… and he barely goes to the net cafe lately.]
[-: I’m in. Give me a sec. I’ll get up and head over.]
It was the weekend, and the little net cafe downstairs would be full.
He would need a different place.
Rubbing his eyes, Yu Fan opened the map, searched for internet cafes, sorted by distance, and began scrolling down.
At noon, exams ended and Yuhe High’s gate crawled open.
A lot of parents were waiting outside. The midday sun was harsh, the entrance a sea of umbrellas.
Chen Jingshen walked fast. Miao Chen had to jog to catch up after leaving the room.
“How did it go?” Miao Chen asked.
“Okay,” Chen Jingshen said.
“Good.” Miao Chen smiled. “These classrooms are ancient. The fan in my room was broken… There’s a fresh juice shop up ahead. Want one to cool off? My treat.”
Chen Jingshen glanced that way and was about to refuse when he caught a tall, lean figure.
Before the person could see him looking, the figure turned his back in a hurry. Chen Jingshen caught only a slice of profile.
He didn’t see me, right?
Hands in pockets, Yu Fan held himself rigid in the crowd by the bus stop. That one glimpse had spooked him enough that he did not dare turn around.
The sun lit his hair like it might catch fire. Thinking back with a wooden face, he decided he must have slept badly and lost his mind to come to Yuhe for an internet cafe.
Did Chen Jingshen see me?
He would not think I came for him, right?
Another bus rumbled past. Yu Fan hesitated, then risked a glance back.
Where is he?
He scanned around the gate with a frown and finally spotted his deskmate in the line at the juice shop.
His deskmate, and his deskmate’s ex-deskmate.
They stood one behind the other, with Miao Chen leaning forward now and then to ask something. Chen Jingshen had his head down, the brim of a white baseball cap shading his eyes so that his expression could not be seen.
The tightness from before leaked away.
Yu Fan’s eyelids drew taut again. He turned back, pulled out his phone, opened the map and searched for another net cafe nearby.
A message popped up.
[Wang Lu’an: Bro, did you get jumped on your way to the cafe? Been waiting ten minutes.]
Yu Fan turned in the direction of the map and typed as he walked: The one I found is full. Looking for another. You guys go ah—
His T-shirt was tugged from behind. Yu Fan stopped and looked back.
He crashed straight into Chen Jingshen’s eyes. His mind blanked and the words skittered out of his mouth. “Wang Lu’an and them asked me to game. The cafe under my place was full so I came here to find another…”
A weight settled on his head. Yu Fan stared at the sudden white brim above his eyes and fell silent.
His hair, baked half the day, cooled in an instant.
“Mhm.” Chen Jingshen reached up and adjusted the brim for him. “Since we ran into each other, do you want to grab lunch together?”
Yu Fan only froze for a second.
He glanced at the two cups of juice in Chen Jingshen’s other hand and pulled on the calmest murder-face he could. “No. Go eat with your ex-deskmate.”
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