Chapter 41: I Like It Like This
A long, silent stare-down.
No one knew how long time had frozen until there was a sharp clatter. Zhu Xu’s broom slipped from his hand and hit the floor, the noise of the corridor rushed back in, and Wang Lu’an finally snapped out of it.
His mouth, which had been hanging open, finally produced a sound. “Uh… I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Jing-jie…”
Yu Fan: “…”
He swept a look over the stunned faces around him, then lowered his eyes to the hand Wang Lu’an had slung over Zhang Xianjing’s shoulder.
In a few seconds, all that prickly resistance to “marrying in” dulled and ebbed away. His brows loosened, leaving only stiff bewilderment.
The poor sign-in sheet in his grip crackled under the strain.
After a long moment, Yu Fan managed to squeeze out a sentence. “You… just now you also… touched me.”
“?” Wang Lu’an glanced at the space between them. At best you could squeeze in a Zuo Kuan. “Really?”
“What else.” Yu Fan stared at him, stone-faced. “Keep your hands to yourself.”
“…Okay.”
Boys with simple brains can smooth over a crisis in two lines. Yu Fan secretly breathed out. Then he turned and met Zhang Xianjing’s eyes.
Arms crossed, one eyebrow arched, the other furrowed.
Even if Wang Lu’an had bumped him, the normal routes were a cussing out or a beatdown, not “I’m not marrying in,” right?
Zhang Xianjing opened her mouth. Yu Fan froze to the core, like needles down his back.
Luckily her phone rang the next second.
Thoughts broken off, Zhang Xianjing picked up. “Hello, Mom? You’re here? How, you were just at the building entrance… Got it, I’m coming down now.”
“My dad should be almost here too. Come on, we’ll go together,” Wang Lu’an said after checking the time.
When she left, the two rubberneckers from the next class got called back by their homeroom teacher to keep sweeping.
Once it was quiet, Yu Fan bent his arm against the balcony rail, pressed his forehead to it, head hanging low. His other hand dug into his hair and clawed in shame a few times.
F***. Did I just lose my mind…
All Chen Jingshen’s fault.
He steadied himself and stood up straight again. Lowering his eyes, he searched the crowd below for the culprit and found that tall, lean silhouette at once.
By the security office, Hu Pang was speaking to a woman who was probably Chen Jingshen’s parent. Chen Jingshen stood beside them, quiet.
Same cool expression as when he had been on gate duty earlier, like an outsider whose companions’ words had nothing to do with him.
They were far apart. Yu Fan watched the blurred lines of his face and felt it looked familiar.
Chen Jingshen had looked like this the night he said he had to hang up. Cold, closed, not happy.
A master of the blank face still managing to communicate five moods without moving a muscle.
But what was he unhappy about?
Yu Fan was half lost in the thought when that black head below lifted as if sensing something and, through the blur of people and trees, met his eyes dead on.
In a second, the cold moods vanished.
They looked at each other for a moment. Then Yu Fan, remembering his own stupid slip-up, schooled his face and planned to offer a friendly international gesture.
When he raised his hand though, the middle finger turned into a not-very-threatening pinky.
“Yu Fan, what are you doing in the hallway?” came Zhuang Fangqin’s voice from the classroom. “Parents are already upstairs. Get to the door and register them.”
Yu Fan gave a lifeless “oh,” tucked away his pinky, made a little “I’m going in” sign at Chen Jingshen, and turned back into the room.
At the security office, Hu Pang was all smiles. “Even though there was a little hiccup with Jingshen during the midterms, things turned out well. I have talked with him. He just needs to be careful going forward.”
“Thank you,” the woman said politely. She turned to her son. “You heard the director.”
Seeing his expression, she blinked, rare surprise. “…What are you smiling at?”
Chen Jingshen lowered his head again. That fleeting expression smoothed to calm at once. “Nothing.”
Before long, a few parents had taken seats in Class Two-Seven.
They automatically began rifling through their kids’ desks, glancing now and then at the boy posted at registration.
After ushering a parent in, Zhuang Fangqin stood beside the desk that had been dragged over to serve as a reception table and knocked the tabletop with a knuckle. “Put that leg down… What is that face. Smile!”
Yu Fan leaned against the wall. “I don’t know how.”
These damn sullen teenage boys.
“Just pull the corners up. Do you want me to teach you?” Zhuang Fangqin said.
“Why not put someone who likes smiling here?” Yu Fan said.
“Who, Wang Lu’an? He did it last term.”
Yu Fan frowned. “Then Chen Jingshen.”
“…,” Zhuang Fangqin said, thinking she had misheard. After a moment she said, “Chen Jingshen likes to smile? When has he ever smiled?”
Yu Fan was about to say he smiles all the time, but then remembered that outside of talking to him… Chen Jingshen really did not smile much.
Doing it on purpose, huh.
Yu Fan twirled his pen, looking for curses to throw at Chen Jingshen in his head. He could not come up with a single one even by the time Zhuang Fangqin had gone back inside to speak with a parent.
“Do I need to register before going in?”
Yu Fan hummed in a decent mood, passing the pen over without looking up.
He kept his eyes lowered as the woman took the pen, ran a finger down the sheet, found her child’s name, and wrote “Ji Lianyi” behind “Chen Jingshen.”
Yu Fan paused, then jerked upright without meaning to, back peeling off the wall.
Mother and son looked very alike. The woman carried herself with effortless grace. After signing she went in without so much as a glance at him.
Parents were more cooperative than students. The room filled quickly.
Ten minutes to go. Yu Fan gave the sign-in sheet back to Zhuang Fangqin and was turning to leave when she tugged his shirt.
She handed him two stacks of paper, one a “Letter to Parents” and the other a feedback form.
“Pass these out. There are exactly forty-two copies. Take yours and give it to your parent at home. And don’t leave after. I still need you for something.”
She did not give him a chance to refuse, just headed for the podium to organize her notes.
Yu Fan: “…”
He clicked his tongue, started for the door, then stopped and thought of something.
He lifted his hands and fastened all the buttons on his T-shirt uniform.
Near his row, he saw Ji Lianyi going through Chen Jingshen’s desk.
She was more thorough than the other parents. Holding his scratch notebook, she flipped page by page, brows drawn, leaving no corner unchecked.
With a light swish, a sheet slid in front of her, covering the notes.
“Thank you,” Ji Lianyi said, pausing.
“No problem,” Yu Fan said. He pulled out one more letter and, along with the midterm score sheet that had just been set on his own desk, shoved it into his drawer.
Ji Lianyi finally looked up at him, giving him a brief once-over. “You are Yu Fan, right?”
“Yeah.”
She nodded and asked nothing else.
With Zhuang Fangqin still keeping him on duty, Yu Fan ended up waiting in the hall with the others.
Zhang Xianjing peered around the room. “Wang Lu’an, your dad has been smiling since he sat down.”
“Of course,” Wang Lu’an said. “Just wait. As soon as this ends he will beeline for your mom to ask your scores.”
“…Get lost.” Her gaze shifted to the back. “The top student’s mom is really pretty.”
“The top student’s family car is prettier,” Wang Lu’an said, then glanced down at the gate. “He is still standing down there. Being the top student is tough. Study and sentry duty.”
“Normal. Hu Pang even set someone to film at the gate. He will be there a while…” Zhang Xianjing turned and raised a brow. “Yu Fan, why are all your buttons done up? Looks dumb.”
Yu Fan, head down on his phone, paused. “Cold. Mind your business.”
The conference schedule went teachers’ speeches, then a broadcast from school leadership, then the homeroom teacher.
Once the teachers finished and left, even Zhuang Fangqin went back to the office to print a missing sheet. Dozens of parents sat listening to the broadcast about “managing relationships with your children in the face of high school pressure.”
When Yu Fan looked up, he saw Ji Lianyi stand with quiet poise and slip out with her bag toward the offices.
“Excuse me.” A parent by the window called to him.
Maybe because he had watched Yu Fan helping, the parent smiled apologetically. “Could you take this to the homeroom teacher for me? It’s the feedback form. I turned in the wrong paper by mistake.”
Wang Lu’an started to say the teacher would be back soon, but the person beside him had already dropped his phone in his pocket and stood. “Okay.”
The back door to the office was closed. Yu Fan was about to go around to the front when a voice floated through.
“I would like you to change Jingshen’s deskmate.”
Zhuang Fangqin’s desk sat near the back window. If you hugged the wall, you could hear everything.
Yu Fan lowered his eyes and leaned there, still.
“Jingshen’s mother, the broadcast should still be running…” Zhuang Fangqin began.
“I would rather speak with you.” Ji Lianyi glanced at her watch. “I have a call in an hour and need to leave early. I probably will not make it to the end of the broadcast. May I take a little of your time?”
After two seconds’ thought, Zhuang Fangqin dragged a chair over. “Please sit. May I ask why you want to change his seat?”
“I saw his deskmate’s report card,” Ji Lianyi said bluntly.
“Oh, you mean Yu Fan. He has made a lot of progress lately—”
“I know. I also know he improved with Jingshen’s help. I saw some strategies on Jingshen’s scratch paper that are from first year, even junior high.” She smiled gently. “Ms. Zhuang, I have never understood why teachers love to have top students tutor weaker ones. That is the teachers’ job, is it not?”
“This time it was Jingshen who asked me to change seats,” Zhuang Fangqin said. “And I believe school is not just about learning knowledge. It is also about learning virtues like helping others.”
“I do not object to helping classmates. But his previous homeroom teacher told me that boy not only has poor grades, he smokes and fights and racks up punishments. I cannot accept my child sitting with a student like that.”
She paused. “And I have seen this Yu Fan myself. Not to mention sloppy clothes… his hair is so long I cannot see his eyes. Does the school not regulate appearance?”
Why do you care so much.
Yu Fan pressed his back to the wall, suddenly itching for a cigarette.
“I understand,” Zhuang Fangqin said. “I will discuss it with Jingshen before deciding.” She shifted the topic. “I have also been wanting to talk with you. Since we are here… In terms of studies, Jingshen is excellent. But he seems a little introverted, and does not interact much with other students. I requested his former homeroom’s home-visit notes.”
She looked up. “It appears you have been interfering with his social life. Before the classes were split in first year, he switched two classes and had seven deskmates. All at your request.”
Ji Lianyi set her bag on her knees and watched her for a moment. “Yes. His first class had a worse environment. As for deskmates, they were either girls, which I worried would distract him, or boys who chatted in class. I wanted to give my child a good environment. That is not excessive, is it?”
“When you changed his seat, did you ask what he wanted?”
“He knows I am doing what is best for him.”
Yu Fan’s phone buzzed. He glanced at it.
[Wang Lu’an: Zuo Kuan and I are in the cafeteria. Want anything? @- @Zhang Xianjing]
He was going to say no, then decided he needed something to cool off.
[-: Mung bean ice.]
[Wang Lu’an: Won’t make it. That line is ten minutes easy. I am buying drinks for my dad to give parents and need to run back.]
[-: Forget it then.]
He pocketed the phone and kept listening.
Zhuang Fangqin asked several more questions. Ji Lianyi’s every answer was “It is for his own good.”
After several sighs, Zhuang Fangqin checked the time. “I see in the record that your home has a lot of cameras, even in rooms… Ms. Qiao suggested removing some and giving him personal space. I wonder if you—”
A weight lodged in Yu Fan’s chest.
He folded a corner of the form, then smoothed it flat.
“My husband and I are busy and away most of the time. Without preventative measures, how do we ensure our child’s safety?” Ji Lianyi said again. “It is for his good.”
They talked a while longer before she stood to go.
Before leaving, she repeated, “Please change his deskmate as soon as possible.”
Then she turned and came face to face with the boy crouched against the wall.
Ji Lianyi: “…”
He did not react much at all. He stood, brushed the dust off his back, and walked past her into the office with a blank face.
He handed the papers to Zhuang Fangqin and headed for the lab building to smoke.
During the conference the labs were empty.
He sat on the first-floor steps and smoked openly.
Legs sprawled, elbows on his knees, a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other.
He played Snake a few rounds and died quickly each time. Bored, he swiped to some other app. When he looked up, that annoying Doberman was on his screen.
He held the cigarette between his teeth and typed slowly: Chen Jingshen…
What was he going to say? Nothing came. He could not type, Why do you listen to your mom about everything, are you scared?
He was in no shape to be teaching other people’s kids bad habits.
He stared at the words, lifted his thumb to delete. A new message popped up.
[s]: Still at school?
[-]: Chen Jingshen is.
[s]: ?
[-]: …Typed wrong. Yeah. Why?
[s]: Where?
[-]: First floor of the lab building.
A few minutes went by with no reply. Yu Fan stared at the chat, blew out smoke, and typed, Did Ms. Zhuang send you for me?
Before he could send it, something blue flickered at the edge of his vision.
He turned. Through a haze of smoke, Chen Jingshen was walking toward him.
The idiotic light-blue summer uniform pants somehow made his legs look longer. His arms hung at his sides. One hand seemed to be holding something.
He stopped in front of Yu Fan and glanced at the cigarette. His lips parted, closed, and he turned aside to cough lightly.
What a delicate prince.
“…You could have waited till I finished to come over,” Yu Fan muttered, stubbing it out. He did not look up, just flicked a glance at his shoes. “What do you want.”
“This,” Chen Jingshen said.
A cool sweetness seemed to drift over. Yu Fan raised his eyes. Hooked on his finger was a plastic bag with a mung bean ice inside.
“On my way back the cafeteria wasn’t crowded,” Chen Jingshen said. “So I bought one. Do you want it?”
Mung bean ice was the cafeteria’s summer bestseller. The school had bought two extra freezers to keep the kids supplied with cold, sweet relief after class.
Yu Fan blinked, took it, jabbed the seal, and took a long pull.
Chen Jingshen climbed two steps to sit level with him. Yu Fan came to and blurted, “Dirty—”
Chen Jingshen had already sat down.
They were like in class, a little space between their shoulders, but very close. Chen Jingshen glanced over. “You sat too.”
“My clothes are not exactly clean to begin with,” Yu Fan said after swallowing the ice.
“Mine aren’t either,” Chen Jingshen said.
“…”
Yu Fan looked at the spotless uniform that seemed freshly laundered and had no words. “Why aren’t you back in the classroom?”
Students usually waited outside during conferences. Even Zuo Kuan and Wang Lu’an did.
“I will go after it is over,” Chen Jingshen said, unlocking his phone with no expression.
Yu Fan said nothing, vaguely watching his fingers as he opened a certain game.
When Chen Jingshen entered, Yu Fan finally reacted, frowning. “You play this too?”
“I saw you playing. Looked fun,” Chen Jingshen said.
Yu Fan leaned closer to watch. “Copycat.”
Chen Jingshen hummed and gobbled up the little snakes around him.
Summer had arrived. No wind today, cicadas ringing, green branches hanging heavy and still. Even time felt slowed.
After spacing out a while, Yu Fan suddenly said, “Chen Jingshen.”
“Mm.”
“Is my hair too long?”
Chen Jingshen’s fingers paused. “No.”
“Oh. But covering my eyes makes me look sloppy,” Yu Fan said offhand. “I’ll get a cut in a few days.”
He had not meant to grow it this long. The last time at the salon he had said “just thin it,” and ended up wearing a cap for two weeks, no matter how much Zhuang Fangqin and Hu Pang chewed him out.
Maybe a pricier place would not be such a disaster?
While Yu Fan idly wondered, Chen Jingshen’s hand stopped moving and he turned to look.
Yu Fan blinked and lifted his head. “What are you doing. You are going to get—”
A hand lifted, and his fringe was swept back. Yu Fan’s heart thumped hard and he fell silent.
His whole face, rarely so bare to the air, was suddenly clean and open, pale and neat, his expression a little dazed.
His hair was very black, thick and soft, pleasant to touch.
Chen Jingshen’s fingers sank into it and did not move away.
Yu Fan came back to himself a little. So, touching my head again, huh. Want to get hit again, huh. If I do not beat you today, you will keep— He looked up to curse and met Chen Jingshen’s eyes, and the fire went out.
With single lids and slightly upturned corners, those eyes were lowered, holding an intent, measuring look he rarely showed, as if picturing what Yu Fan would look like with a haircut.
After a few seconds, his gaze slipped lower, gliding over the two moles on Yu Fan’s right cheek, then the bridge of his nose, the tip, and lower—
The heavy, hot air moved between them.
Yu Fan hated being scrutinized. But right now he sat rigid and still, heart racing for no reason, even his breathing slowing deep.
Chen Jingshen looked up. The shells of Yu Fan’s ears were a light pink.
Someone fierce and bristling, who went obedient with the lightest tug.
“Do not cut it.”
His fingers tightened, almost imperceptibly possessive, then loosened, rubbing through Yu Fan’s hair. Chen Jingshen’s voice was mild.
“I like it like this.”
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