075: Valley Wedding (Extra 2)
Xiao Hengmiao’s expression looked absolutely terrible.
He glared at Tang Yu, eyes practically popping out, and his voice was full of pure indignation.
“So why didn’t you invite me to your wedding? What, I’m not allowed to go? I’ve been your friend for so many years!!”
Tang Yu pressed his fingers to his temples helplessly.
He patiently explained, “I already told you, it’s not that you’re not invited. I’m having two ceremonies. You’re coming to one, and you’ll be my best man. The other one…”
“How come I can’t go to the other one?” Vice President Xiao demanded, unwilling to let it go.
Tang Yu just said, “Mm.”
That was all. He didn’t go on explaining like before.
He honestly didn’t know how he was supposed to explain it… there was no way to break it down for Xiao Hengmiao.
Because the second wedding wasn’t going to be held in Jiangyuan City at all. The second ceremony would be way out in a valley in the distant suburbs.
In early May, the mountains weren’t hot yet. It was exactly when the weather was at its best.
The valley they’d chosen had babbling streams and green mountains and meadows all around. A cool breeze blew in from the front.
The time was set for sunset, so you could stand on the hillside and watch the slow, romantic fall of the sun.
At this wedding, he would be the only human. Everyone else would be little animals.
A wedding between a human and a cat, with yaoguai invited to come as witnesses.
It was so mysterious and romantic that even the wedding planning company was stunned.
They kept stubbornly asking Tang Yu, “Really? You don’t need us to arrange buses for guests? But the place is really remote. If we don’t do shuttle buses, is everyone just going to drive themselves?”
No, no driving.
Some would fly. Some would run. Some would swim.
“What? You don’t need us to provide makeup and on-site photography either? Wait, you don’t need a photographer? Aren’t you going to keep any memories of it?”
They were going to film it, but it definitely wasn’t humans who would be holding the camera.
If humans came to shoot this, they’d be scared to death. A human marrying a cat? What would be next, mice acting as the best man for a cat?!
They had a special yaoguai just for filming.
The short-tailed quokka who’d come to shoot this was a new employee Sang Zhao had recruited recently. When Sang Zhao did his online pet communication sessions, the quokka helped with lighting and backgrounds.
The quokka had actually been arranged by Director Li. He counted as someone working in new media.
Director Li said that now that Sang Zhao could help solve employment issues for small animals, he’d send him the quokka. And to be fair, the quokka’s skills were great. His videos were really beautiful.
He was just short, so when the time came, he’d ride on Black Panther’s back to film, like doing horseback photography.
The wedding company pressed on, “And you don’t need catering either? You’re… not feeding your guests?”
They’d bring their own. Everyone would bring their own.
The lynx, who worked at a chain supermarket, had done a huge grocery haul to celebrate Sang Zhao’s wedding. They were going to have a barbecue party in the valley. The fox would bring his own homemade fruit wine.
As for transporting ingredients, all the little yaoguai had their spiritual seas (shihai). They all came with built-in storage spaces like suitcases, which was insanely convenient.
In short, everything was perfect.
There was only one leftover issue: nobody was quite sure what role little Xia Moye was supposed to play.
After all, the child was Samoyed Ye Ye, and Ye Ye had his own first-choice wedding dream role.
“I can be the flower dog and also be the dog who carries the rings,” the Samoyed said.
But that was spreading himself a bit too thin.
When he thought about it, Sang Zhao felt that Ye Ye wasn’t ordinary at all.
Back when they’d just met and weren’t even close yet, Ye Ye had clanged out a “Mom!” to him already. Ye Ye was his neighbor and friend, and also the big dog Tang Yu had picked up and the kid he tutored.
Ye Ye had far too many titles, and each one was so important, which meant he himself was an incredibly important little dog.
Anyone could be a flower child or ring bearer. Ye Ye should do something even more important, something that meant “witness,” something that had more weight to it…
So the little dog would be the officiant. That’s right!
On the day of the ceremony, Ye Ye, the officiant, came over sniffling to complain to Sang Zhao.
He was deeply honored to be officiating, but he was also very mad that the Bernese Mountain Dog Professor Border Collie had brought wouldn’t play properly with him.
The ceremony hadn’t even started. All the little yaoguai were still running around playing in the beautiful valley.
While the Bernese Mountain Dog was playing with the Samoyed, he’d kicked him with one paw, leaving a neat pawprint on the snowy-white fur of Ye Ye’s side.
The Samoyed complained loudly, “Little Bern is playing big-foot games! Little Bern is playing big-foot games!”
Sang Zhao comforted him. Nearby, the Golden Retriever who’d come along with Sister An An to freeload at the banquet was sighing dramatically.
He wasn’t about to run off to play with any Bernese, Collies, or Samoyeds.
Those were all dogs. Golden wanted to play with people.
“I don’t want to play with them. There are no good dogs in this world, but there are no bad people either. So why are there no people here? Where are the people?”
Where was there a human willing to play with the Golden Retriever?!
The lynx was busy hauling goods out of his spiritual sea: skewers of beef and lamb, big prawns, beef tendons, chicken wings, eel, pork belly slices, duck gizzards, cartilage bites… he just kept pulling things out.
The Pallas’s cat was messing with the grill, setting up the wire rack and the barbecue tools.
Ye Ye had firmly decided that he would no longer play with the Bernese. Honestly, Little Bern had no sense of proportion at all. Did he think Ye Ye the dog was some nobody? Ye Ye was about to have a huge career in a bit, okay!
Wow, kicking a giant pawprint into Ye Ye’s side like that. Just how big was that paw?!
Playing with Little Bern was absolutely no fun. Little Bern was all big feet, little Ye Ye was all thick fur, they were clearly not suited to play together.
So Ye Ye went back to the big cats he was familiar with.
Which was how, the next time Sang Zhao looked over, he saw Black Panther carrying the Samoyed on his back, sprinting through the valley like crazy. Even the sheep in the meadow had all come over to watch.
They’d never seen anything like this. Just seeing such a scene made a sheep feel their whole sheep-life had been worth it.
The only thing more worth it was Professor Border Collie. In Sang Zhao’s eyes, he had always been a successful, mature, steady, elegant, and reliable dog.
People liked to say, “A dog is a dog, but a Border Collie is a Border Collie.” Stereotypes had some truth in them. Border Collies really were smart.
Professor Border Collie was one of the most successful yaoguai around.
Sang Zhao was just about to ask him to keep an eye on Ye Ye. One look back, and he couldn’t find any words at all.
He truly had never imagined Professor Border Collie could look this happy.
Professor Border Collie was herding sheep.
He had finally seen actual sheep. To be honest, when he’d taken such good care of Ye Ye before, it wasn’t entirely unrelated to the fact that Ye Ye really did look like a sheep…
His longing for sheep was written into his blood and bones. Ye Ye looked like a sheep, so he’d occasionally herd him a bit and keep him in line.
But now it was different. Now there were real sheep in the meadow.
The herding-dog instincts exploded into life. Professor Border Collie began gathering them into a big flock, herding them all over to attend Sang Zhao’s wedding together.
Behind them ran the clear little stream, water reflecting everyone’s faces. An otter floated past, paws crossed over his chest.
When it was time for the ceremony to begin, all the yaoguai took their seats on their respective tree stumps.
Heaven and earth were washed in rose by the evening clouds. In the glow of dusk, the little cat sat upright at the front, on the pledge platform.
Ye Ye shook out his fur, sitting on the stage like a fluffy triangular glutinous rice dumpling. On his left was the little cat, Sang Zhao, sitting at the vow stand. On his right was Tang Yu, the human in formalwear.
Tang Yu wore suits often, but today’s was a tailcoat, so formal it bordered on solemn, elegant all the way through. Even the little ponytail at the back of his head had been carefully styled.
A soft, clean breeze brushed past, tugging at the human’s coat and ruffling the yaoguai fur. It felt friendly and free, everything so comfortable and natural.
The valley was filled with golden light, and two lovers were about to make their vows.
Tang Yu reached out reverently toward the little cat, and the cat placed his paw on the back of his hand.
Ye Ye turned in a little circle on the spot, too excited to contain himself. Then he forced himself to calm down and began the vow-officiating part.
He’d memorized this speech for ages, so that when the time came, he could deliver it smoothly.
“The sky, the valley, the stream, the trees, the meadow, together with us all, witness the happiness of this one cat and one human,” the little dog said solemnly, not making a single mistake.
“You will grow into trees whose roots are intertwined. You will weather the storms of nature together and share the blessings of fate.”
“You will no longer be apart. You will lean on each other. Now, at this moment, you will speak your vows.”
He turned to Tang Yu, waiting for the human to go first.
Tang Yu held the little paw and stared into his honey-amber eyes, blinking once.
“I never imagined I would one day be living like this, like something out of a fairy tale,” Tang Yu said slowly. “Even more fairytale-like than the yaoguai world itself is that I’ve received such a sincere love, and all the passion and devotion that comes with it.”
He looked at Sang Zhao as if he were looking at his life made into flesh, as if he were looking at his everything.
“Your arrival made up for all my regrets. I have resented my own mediocrity, and I have grieved over my sensitivity. You led me through childhood and youth all over again.”
How could he not love him?
Tang Yu bowed his head and kissed the little cat’s fluffy orange paw.
He looked at Sang Zhao and waited to hear what he would say.
What would he say?
A cat wasn’t like a human, with a university education. A cat’s general knowledge was limited. There was only so much ink in that belly. What kind of vow could he possibly write?
All he could do was say what he really had.
Sang Zhao tilted his head. “You are every word about ‘men’ in my life.”
““I act spoiled with my gege, I seek help from my father, I marry my boyfriend, and I stand here with you.”
“Thank you, Tang Yu. I now know the ‘Tang’ from the saying gong bu tang juan, and the ‘Yu’ from the saying zhong ling yu xiu.”
By now, the little cat was cultured enough to form idiom combos.
Both sayings are generous blessings, hoping he’ll achieve something great and be exceptional.
“But I also think you’re the tang in ‘sugar’ and the yu in Corn Bean’s ‘Yu.’”
In all the great blessings, the little cat added sweeter ones.
He wished Tang Yu sweetness, joy, and the crisp, fresh happiness of a corn kernel.
To be the kind of Corn Bean you eat in one bite: sweet, soft, fragrant, crisp, and to live every day that way.
Tang Yu laughed softly, his tail end of breath carrying a hint of tears.
“Happy wedding,” he softly said, eyes gentle.
“Happy wedding,” Sang Zhao lifted his chin, showing off his fluffy orange neck ruff. “Meow meow meow meow.”
Author’s Note:
Meow: Bad humans who won’t drink tea can eat one nice bite from me instead!
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