Chapter 63: Jiang Liannan
Li Dong and Jiang Liannan sat side by side in the front, their backs to Fu Changyin.
After that kiss on the cheek, Li Dong slipped an arm around the older man’s waist. “Once we finish eating, I’ll take you home. I’m not staying with you tonight, okay?”
He was worried about Uncle’s lower back. For all he knew, it was still aching.
“Mm…” Jiang Liannan nodded.
“Don’t pout.” Li Dong gave his waist a teasing squeeze, a move so intimate it made the watching Fu Changyin behind them break out in a cold sweat.
If a kiss on the cheek wasn’t conclusive proof of anything improper, then that waist-squeeze was. No decent junior would be holding his uncle and kneading his waist like that.
“I’m not pouting.” Jiang Liannan touched his face and leaned in until he was practically resting on Li Dong. “So… when are we meeting again?” He added, “It’s only Tuesday. Don’t tell me I’ve got to wait till the weekend.”
Ever since he and the little hottie had gone up in flames, Jiang Liannan’s heart had been in a constant restless churn. Only seeing the kid settled him.
He had no idea what to call this feeling. Back when he “loved” Chen Wuhou, he’d thought it was deep, but even then he didn’t feel this clawing need.
He kept turning it over and decided it was probably the thrill of taboo. That was what made it so intense.
No telling how long it would last, though. He wasn’t betting big on it.
“Thursday,” Li Dong said, tipping forward to kiss his forehead.
Out of the corner of his eye, he finally caught the figure standing behind them. He froze for a heartbeat, then snapped on a startled look. “Uncle Yin?”
Jiang Liannan whipped around and stared. Standing there was a very complicated-looking Fu Changyin.
“Old Fu…” He instantly peeled his arm off Li Dong and rushed to explain, nervous all over. “I, uh, my face is having an allergic flare, so I asked Can-can to come out and have dinner with me…”
“Old Fourth,” Fu Changyin sighed, long and heavy. “How could you?”
“I…” Jiang Liannan’s brow tightened.
“Can-can is only twenty!” Fu Changyin said. “By generation he’s your nephew!”
“Old Fu—”
Fu cut him off again. “Old Wu will kill you! You know what his temper is like.”
The moment he saw Old Fourth cuddling and kissing Chen Can, Fu’s first thought was that Old Fourth had a death wish. If Old Wu found out, breaking legs would be merciful.
“Uncle, don’t say anything.” Li Dong saw how badly Jiang Liannan’s lips were trembling. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and patted him. “I’ll talk to Uncle Yin. You just breathe, okay?”
“You two…” Fu’s face went dark. The sight in front of him made a vein jump in his forehead. What a mess. Nephew and uncle.
And wasn’t Old Fourth in love with Old Wu?
One turn of the head and he was with Chen Can? This was chaos.
“I’m fine,” Jiang Liannan told Li Dong, forcing a steady look to reassure him. But anyone could see he was barely holding it together, his chest rising and falling in an off-kilter rhythm.
“Uncle Yin,” Li Dong said, turning calmly to him, “Please sit. Let’s talk this through.”
So steady, Fu thought. Does this kid even realize what he’s doing?
The emperor’s not anxious, but the eunuch is. The two culprits were calm, while the people around them were tearing their hair out.
“Alright.” Fu sat.
“Old Fu,” Jiang Liannan said honestly, looking straight at his third brother. “Since you’ve seen it, I won’t hide it. I am with Can-can. This has nothing to do with Old Wu.”
Maybe his first step toward Chen Can had been triggered by Chen Wuhou, but now he could swear it had nothing to do with the dad. He was hooked on the son, period.
“You’ve got the nerve to say that out loud?” Fu Changyin was nearly dying of anger. In his mind, Lao Si was a man of clear lines and self-respect. “Be with anyone you want, but how can you involve Can-can? He’s only twenty. What does he know?”
“I…” Li Dong tried to interject.
“You hush,” Fu stripped Li Dong of the right to speak and addressed only Lao Si. “Break it off with him immediately and I’ll pretend I saw nothing.”
“If I don’t, you’ll go tell Old Wu?” Jiang Liannan asked, eyes on him.
“How can I not?” Fu rapped the table with his knuckles. “Ask yourselves, why are you hiding this? Because it’s wrong. It won’t stand the light. If it were upright, why keep it secret?”
“Being gay is the original sin,” Jiang Liannan shot back. “Because I’m gay, everything I do is wrong.”
“Uncle, don’t get heated,” Li Dong murmured. “Talk to Uncle Yin nicely.”
Fu watched with a hollow laugh as Lao Si softened instantly. A second ago he’d been a porcupine; one word from the kid, and he melted.
“Can-can,” Fu rubbed his face. “Listen to me. Don’t mess around with your Uncle Nan. Go to college, do what you should do, okay?”
Neither of them answered. They just sat shoulder to shoulder, stiff with stubbornness.
“If I tell Old Wu, the brotherhood between us four will be blown to bits. No one comes out clean,” Fu said. “But can I pretend I didn’t see it and let you two keep going? What kind of person would that make me?”
He couldn’t pretend.
“Can-can, you say it.” In front of Fu, Jiang Liannan showed a difference that only Li Dong would catch. “I started this. I’ll give you the final say.”
“Then let’s do as Uncle Yin says,” Li Dong replied. “We go back to where we were before crossing the line and interact normally. That’s not too much to ask, is it, Uncle Yin?”
Jiang Liannan’s whole body froze. He turned to glance at Li Dong.
“It’s not too much,” Fu said, “but you have to promise you’ll treat him like an uncle. That means—”
He stopped because he’d already seen the shock and hurt in Lao Si’s eyes. “Sigh…”
This man never could read people. Even at this point, he still couldn’t see that Chen Can was completely indifferent to him, just a young guy who liked to play around.
“What did you say, Can-can?” Jiang Liannan shook his head in disbelief. A moment ago this little boyfriend had been kissing him silly. “You just told me you’d take care of me in my old age…”
Under the table, his fingers trembled.
“You’re my uncle,” Li Dong said. “Even if we’re just normal family, I can still take care of you when you’re old.”
Under the table, trembling turned into a white-knuckled fist.
“Then it’s settled.” Fu stood to end it. “Can-can, you go on ahead. I’ll talk with your Uncle Nan and keep him company for dinner.”
“Okay.” Li Dong rose slowly. “Uncle Nan, Uncle Yin, I’ll head out. And… remember, no more papaya.”
“Got it. Drive safe,” Fu said.
Jiang Liannan said nothing. He felt wrong all over, crushed and bitter, air thick with suffocation.
“You see it for yourself, right? Is Can-can actually in this with you?” Fu said. “This relationship is fragile. Even without me, it wouldn’t get far.”
“Enough. I know all that.” Lao Si thumped the table.
A server approached with dishes, and he turned his head and shut his mouth.
“It’s late and you haven’t eaten.” Fu helped set out the plates Li Dong had ordered. “Eat first, then talk.”
“We’ve only been together two days. How solid do you think it could be?” Jiang Liannan grabbed his chopsticks and shoved a bite of vivid green veg into his mouth. “If you’d walked in two days later, maybe he wouldn’t have left.”
“Bullsh**! What, you think I was never young?” Fu said. “He’s enjoying the novelty. Only you would be dumb enough to take it seriously.”
Head down, Jiang Liannan ate and ate, the corners of his eyes flushing red where Fu couldn’t see. “Yeah. I’m an idiot.” His chopsticks shook, just like the day he’d received that wedding invitation from Chen Wuhou.
How long had it even been, and already…
“Lao Si…” Fu lowered his voice to a near-whisper, practically leaning across the table. “You two slept together?”
“Mm.” Still staring at his plate, Old Fourth kept eating. “Everything you think happened did. He topped me.” He yanked a napkin, wiped his face, winced when it brushed the swollen rashes, and hissed. “Tell me I’m not a dumba*s.”
Fu blew out a long breath. Silence for a while. “Then maybe… maybe the kid said that to protect you.”
If this blew up, a senior like Lao Si would lose all face.
Worse, he’d chased Chen Wuhou for over a decade. No one could accept him being with Chen’s son.
“Probably.” Jiang Liannan’s voice was hollow. “He’s a gentle person.” Just their being uncle and nephew doomed it.
“Try to forget him as soon as you can,” Fu said. “And skip Old Wu’s gathering this weekend. Say your face is acting up and you shouldn’t go out.”
“What, I can’t be with him and I’m not even allowed to see him?” Lao Si snapped.
“I’m looking out for you,” Fu said.
Around ten, dinner was done.
“I’ll take you home,” Fu offered.
“No need.” Old Fourth shook his head. “My car’s by the hospital. Just drop me there.”
“How’d it end up there?” Fu asked.
“We met at the hospital. Can-can brought me here for dinner.” At the door, he pulled out a cigarette and lit up. “He told the doctor to jab me. My butt’s still numb.”
Fu barked a laugh.
He knew Lao Si hated shots.
At the hospital lot they split up. Old Fourth drifted to his car like a ghost and sank into the driver’s seat.
He couldn’t help it. He grabbed his phone and called Li Dong.
The pick-up was quick. “Uncle?”
The familiar voice and cadence loosened half the knot in his chest. “Can-can… that was a stalling tactic, right?”
Not entirely loosened, though. Fu had been right about one thing: their tie was not strong. It was fragile.
“Figures, the scholar,” Li Dong said. “You know your ‘stalling tactics.’”
“I knew it…” Old Fourth sagged against the steering wheel, shaking like a man spared at the last second. “I knew you wouldn’t just toss me.”
He’d had more than his share of love-unrequited. Most people didn’t know how bleak that felt.
Today was the first time experiencing loss and recovery. The joy in his heart was inexpressible.
Others might not understand how a man past thirty could still be so green at love.
He meant it when he said he held his heart out front and put the risk behind him, no matter how much it hurt. He wanted to keep loving.
“But just now, I really did consider ending it.” Li Dong was home by now, taking the call in his room. “You know why. You loved someone else for more than ten years. That’s hard to swallow.”
“No…” Lao Si rushed to say, “I don’t love him anymore. Can-can, let what your dad and I had be the past, please?”
Truth was, all day he’d hardly thought of Chen Wuhou. And when he had, it was only because of Chen Can.
“You really loved him ten years, and two nights with me outweigh that?” Li Dong asked.
“How am I supposed to answer that?” Jiang Liannan said. Mortified and angry. “Think for yourself. You’re my first.”
He and Chen Wuhou had never truly been together. With Old Wu he’d only learned how bitter it was to pine.
With Chen Can he’d learned a lot more, the biggest lesson being getting worked until he was wrung dry, fretting over the kid, then spiraling into self-reproach.
He felt like he was going crazy. One minute he thought he was doing okay, with the looks and the build. The next he felt useless, older, and clueless in bed, moved around however the kid pleased.
“Mm. I’m your first man,” Li Dong said. “So if anyone had been your first, would you love him the same way?”
“Don’t paint me like that. And you were the one who said,” Jiang Liannan took a long breath, “we’re not at the stage to have that conversation yet.”
That actually made Li Dong go blank for a second, but he recovered fast. “Right. Then see you on the weekend.”
“I—” Jiang Liannan felt so wronged he wanted to die. Those weren’t his words. “Can-can? Hey? Can-can?”
The call clicked off. “Little bastard!” He redialed, got no answer, and finally tossed the phone aside, collapsing over the wheel in a sulk.
Early autumn nights were much cooler than the days. He shivered in the air conditioning, shut it off, and trudged home.
Arriving home, it was eleven at night.
Old Mr. Jiang stood in the living room in white pajamas, sipping water, and nearly scared him out of his skin.
“Dad, forgot to bring your thermos upstairs?” he said. “It’s chilly at night. Don’t wander around in just that.”
He set his keys on the table and himself on the couch.
“You know it’s chilly but won’t go shower and sleep,” the old man scolded mildly. “Catch a cold on that couch and see who you blame.”
“Let me catch one, then,” Old Fourth muttered under his breath.
“What now?” Father asked.
“Nothing. Go on up and sleep. Let me mope by myself.” After a while with no response, he turned his head and realized the living room was already empty.
He touched his face, relieved his dad hadn’t noticed the rash swellings. The old man didn’t need to worry.
Still, middle-aged and coming home to no one who fussed over him… it really did feel like he’d wasted half a life. A failure.
As for Li Dong, hanging up on him had startled even himself.
The old hand at love sat on his bed, palm to his forehead. He had to admit he’d lost his cool. When Lao Si threw his own words back at him about “not at that stage,” it jabbed somewhere soft, and he didn’t like the feeling.
Wednesday morning, Old Fourth rolled out of bed and headed straight for the mirror.
Half the bumps were gone. He grinned like a fool, rummaged around the bed until he found his phone, and typed a message.
“Can-can! Injections really work fast—” He stopped, erased it, and went to wash up and change.
After breakfast, he got stuffed into his “old folks outfit” and took the old man to the flower and bird market.
“Why’re you trailing me?” the elder Jiang asked, dangling a pair of birds and cooing at them. “You’re still young. Go find yourself a partner.”
Already thirty-five and still drifting. What’s that supposed to be.
“If you don’t want me tagging along,” Old Fourth said, “I’ll go.”
His route led him to Cat-Ears, the bar he hadn’t stepped into for days.
It was still early, the floor staff were cleaning, the bartenders polishing glasses, front desk playing music.
“Boss.” A girl stood when he came in.
“Mm. Go do your thing. Don’t mind me,” Old Fourth said lazily. He waved to the bartender. “Mix me something that’ll put me in a good mood.”
The bartender nodded. If the boss hadn’t learned by now that drinks don’t fix moods, extra ounces weren’t going to help.
By midday the floor manager came in with last night’s numbers.
“Huh, boss, you’re here?” He opened his laptop. “Great, take a look at last month’s.”
“Okay.” Sleeves pushed up, Lao Si settled in with a calculator, tap-tap-tap.
Aura flipped in an instant: from an untouchable fairy to a copper-stinking middle-aged shopkeeper.
“Boss,” the manager ventured, “it’s the back half of the year again. Think we can do raises?”
Blunt enough. Where was the “venturing,” exactly?
Jiang Liannan took a cigarette. The manager smoothly pulled out a lighter and lit it for him.
“Do it,” he said, exhaling a ring and going back to the ledger. “Holiday train tickets are on me and one shopping card each.”
“Thanks, boss!”
The books weren’t many. By the time he finished going through them, afternoon guests were drifting in.
“Hey, Nan-ge.” Someone called.
Jiang Liannan finished mixing a drink for a customer. He frowned. “Watch your mouth. Who’s your ‘ge’?”
“No need to bite,” Gao Yue said, giving him a once-over. “Hit menopause?”
Jiang Liannan didn’t bite. He just sent him a look that said figure it out yourself.
“Heard you’re off the market,” Gao Yue said breezily, dropping into a seat. “Pour me a Frosted Flame. Fits my current mood.”
“Xiao Wang, Frosted Flame for him,” he called.
“You’re not mixing it for me?” Gao Yue asked.
He was here to stir the pot. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
There was no one around. He only saw Jiang Liannan alone, still gloomy and unhappy, not cheerful.
Tsk tsk, love life not going smoothly?
Gao Yue had long seen through Jiang Liannan, this so-called number one. Besides having a good-looking exterior, he was fundamentally worthless.
No EQ, no judgment. Mid-thirties and still an old virgin.
Gao Yue was younger, good-looking, and from a decent family. Unfortunately, Jiang Liannan became famous too early and overshadowed him for years.
To irritate him, Gao Yue had opened a bar across the street earlier that year and poached a good chunk of the queer crowd.
“Someone said yesterday you’ve got a boyfriend. True?” Gao Yue smiled light as air. “I came over to ask.”
“So what if I do?” Jiang Liannan said.
“A big name like you nabbing a boyfriend, the whole circle wants to know,” Gao Yue said. “Any chance I get the honor of meeting him?”
“Afraid you don’t.” Jiang Liannan’s tone was cool. “Drink’s ready. Enjoy, Boss Gao. I’ve got things to do.”
“Can’t show him because he won’t impress?” Gao Yue called to his back.
He turned. “My boyfriend won’t impress? Got water in your brain that hasn’t drained?”
“Then call him out,” Gao Yue stood up.
“I said you don’t have the honor.” Lao Si left him there and slipped into their private back room, empty at this hour, perfect for being alone.
“Can-can,” Jiang Liannan called out once.
Tears pitter-pattered down.
He firmly believed he was someone with a boyfriend. The situation just wasn’t very clear at the moment.
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