019: Picked Up a Dog, Everyone!
The cat side and the dog side were both terrified.
To the dog: What the hell were those… ghost fires?? Two bright white pairs of lights suddenly appearing in the middle of the night? Who wouldn’t freak out!?
To the cats: Help!! That white shadow is way too bright!! Who jumps out like that in the dark! Terrifying!!!
Both sides traded a round of shrieks, meows, and barks.
For a moment, the entire field was filled with meooowls and woof-woofs flying everywhere.
Sang Zhao was laughing so hard on the side that tears were about to spill.
“Hahaha! Stupid big cats and big dogs, that’s what you get.”
The little orange cat had played every single one of them in his paw-palm.
He finally laughed enough, so he dashed out and grabbed the dog. He dragged the Samoyed back by the scruff and headed toward the tent area, where a few big cats and small cats were curled up together trembling.
Sang Zhao stared at the pile of terrified furballs.
“…Seriously? You got THIS scared? We’re cats, we’re supposed to be brave!”
A silver-white Pallas cat was being squished under the black panther’s paw.
The Pallas raised his cat paw, voice trembling in a teenage-boy register:
“Fighting head-on isn’t scary… but he… he… he appeared so suddenly! It was horrifying!!”
The moment he said that, all the cats let out frantic agreement.
“Exactly!! Meow! Exactly! I’ve never seen such a huge white shadow!”
“Right! Mewmew thought White Impermanence came to take me away!!!”
“We only snuck out to party! We didn’t commit any crime! Don’t take our souls!!!”
Once Sang Zhao shoved Ye Ye back so everyone could see clearly. Oh, it’s just a fluffed-up Samoyed. The cats finally stopped meowing accusations and switched to angry scolding.
Black Panther slipped out of the pile and planted a paw on Ye Ye’s dog head, showing friendly authority:
“Hello hello, you must be Sang Zhao’s friend, right?”
The gesture made it look like he was bestowing some kind of Cat Clan Blessing.
But the dog LOVED it.
Wow! A big cat touched his head in friendliness!
That must mean he automatically earned a whole bunch of big-cat friends!!
Sang Zhao and Ye Ye had arrived just to play.
They had no idea beforehand what this “party” was actually supposed to be. Why was the location in the middle of the wilderness? No one had told them a thing.
Black Panther quickly gathered everyone to play.
This suburban meadow had tents already pitched by cat paws, a barbecue grill set up, and random soccer balls and basketballs scattered around.
A lynx worked at a chain supermarket and had grabbed discounted chicken wings, prawns, and salmon during a sale.
Everyone used cat paws and dog paws to tear open plastic bags and lay out snacks.
The lynx lit eco-charcoal and started the grill.
First batch: chicken wings!
Black Panther also brought two bottles of fruit wine.
“It’s homemade by a fox friend of mine. Super tasty fruit wine!”
And so… that was the whole party.
Eating, drinking, messing around, and having fun.
The Pallas cat had smaller paws but strong grip. He brushed seasoning on the wings and flipped them expertly.
Cat mouths had already been drooling for a long time. The stronger the aroma grew, the harder it was not to drool. They waited right next to the grill, eating each wing the moment it finished.
Once they finished their share, they licked their paws and went off to play.
Someone suddenly pulled a giant yoga ball out of their spiritual storage field.
One of those massive yoga balls, half a person tall and half a person wide, springy and soft. Perfectly paw-satisfying.
So who loves playing with balls more, cats or dogs?
Hard to say, but the dog clearly went feral first.
A life of school stress, trying so hard to pretend to be human, barely managing to act normal but now? Freedom!
Back in his Samoyed form, playing ball under the midnight sky with a field full of big cats?!
Peak happiness.
They chased, pounced, bit, tackled, cat-dog playtime was basically the Disney World of the animal kingdom.
Sang Zhao chewed a charcoal-grilled duck neck and noticed something going wrong.
He raised his voice:
“Don’t use claws! Don’t bite! The yoga ball will pop!”
Too late.
The lynx, caught up in excitement, slammed a paw down *BIAG* and flipped the whole ball.
The pale-yellow yoga ball bounced once, let out a soft “pfffff,” and deflated instantly, collapsing into a sad sheet of rubber.
No more big ball…
Time to play with soccer balls and basketballs instead.
Thankfully, no one’s mood was ruined. They continued eating and playing.
When everyone heard Ye Ye was still in school, the working adult cats all cried out with envy.
“What, you’re still a student?! You’re so lucky!”
“Not having a job is heaven aaahhh—”
Ye Ye chomped a chicken wing and squinted contentedly.
“Having a job is heaven! School is too tiring, we have to learn stuff, take exams…”
He chewed, chewed, chewed, then suddenly remembered something. He raised his hand excitedly:
“Hey, since there are many cats here, does anyone want to be Ye Ye’s mom or dad and help Ye Ye contact my homeroom teacher?”
He explained his missing-parents situation to the group and looked around expectantly.
“So? Anyone? Anyone??”
With each question, a ring of big and small cats physically scooted backward.
No no no NO!
Cats cannot produce dog children!!
Cats cannot be dog parents!!
Sang Zhao didn’t join them in playing ball.
His taste was more refined.
He was eating grilled shrimp.
The roasted shrimp meat was tight and chewy, not fresh-sweet like uncooked shrimp, but firm, fragrant, and delicious the more he chewed.
He took a few bites and thought smugly:
Hmph, he wasn’t like these big cats and big dogs.
He’d been a pampered pet cat twice. He could NOT step on dirty grass with his soft strawberry-colored paw pads. Impossible.
He could only play ball on tile or hardwood floors.
It absolutely had nothing to do with the fact that his original cat form was smaller and couldn’t beat leopards, lynxes, or panthers in ball games.
Absolutely zero relation.
Everyone ended up drinking fruit wine and eating barbecue.
The fruit wine tasted mostly like sweet fruit, barely any alcohol.
Sang Zhao took two sips, found it boring, and stopped drinking, but the other cats and dogs drank like it was soda, pairing it with snacks.
By the time the food was gone and the noise died down, it was already five in the morning.
Ye Ye could stay out all day since he was on summer vacation.
However, Sang Zhao needed to catch some sleep before work.
Because at nine, he had to show up bright and energetic at his office.
He still had to work.
The thought alone made him want to cry… but he didn’t cry, he wasn’t that fragile.
He decided to leave early.
Ye Ye wasn’t done playing, so Sang Zhao handed him off to Black Panther.
“You guys keep him for now. I need to grab a nap or I won’t survive work.”
Black Panther quickly agreed.
“No problem! We’ll bring him back safe and sound!”
The other cats chimed in:
“We’re leaving soon too! We’ll take him for porridge at a breakfast shop!”
“Yeah! I have a shift at noon, so we’ll head back early anyway!”
“Exactly! We’ll let Ye Ye ride on us! Vrooom! Super speed!!”
Sang Zhao: ……
He could clearly tell most of them were drunk.
He thought for a moment:
So… if a leopard runs drunk… does that count as DUI?
Honestly, whatever. He really needed to sleep.
Ye Ye lived in the same building, didn’t go to school during summer break, didn’t do homework, and spent all day playing mobile games.
Letting him roam with these cats probably did him good, at least he’d see sunlight instead of turning into a couch-dog.
He trusted them.
And he didn’t treat Ye Ye like an actual elementary-school kid anyway. This was a massive mythical Samoyed; he could take care of himself just fine, especially with so many cats around.
So Sang Zhao called a ride and went home.
What happened afterward completely exceeded his imagination…
And made him want to rip Black Panther’s butt to shreds with his claws.
Because when he clocked in at nine o’clock sharp, there… in the secretariat department… he saw a fluffy white snowball Samoyed surrounded by coworkers fawning over him.
Sang Zhao’s brain froze.
What… was that?
Oh. A dog.
Wow. A Samoyed.
His fingers trembled. He pointed at the dog, horrified, and shouted: “Ah!!”
He slowly lifted his hand and pointed harder: “What is that?!”
The dog met his gaze with hollow, lifeless eyes.
Tang Yu was also there.
He was crouching beside the dog, happily rubbing its head.
He looked up, confused by Sang Zhao’s panic.
Tang Yu squeezed Ye Ye’s little bear-ear and said: “This is a Samoyed.”
Of course Sang Zhao knew it was a Samoyed!!
But why! WHY did it look exactly like the one that called him “uncle-in-law” and “auntie”?!
No, this was that one!!
Tang Yu patiently explained:
“I was driving this morning and passed Central Garden. You know, the city center. I saw this big Samoyed outside a breakfast shop.”
His tone was very “omg I found treasure.”
“No leash, no dog tag. I waited a long time and nobody came for him.”
Inside, Sang Zhao cursed.
He’d known something would go wrong.
He’d expected Ye Ye to come back filthy, maybe yelling “Uncle! I’ve returned from partying!” or something.
He NEVER imagined the cats left the Samoyed IN THE CITY CENTER.
They LOST the dog.
Criminal-level negligence.
A crime against small dog-shaped elementary students.
Help.
Is there not a single normal cat in this universe besides him???
Mouth hanging open, still shocked, Sang Zhao watched Tang Yu sigh and stroke Ye Ye’s chin affectionately.
“Honestly, I don’t know how the owner could be this careless. Who abandons such a big, white, well-fed Samoyed? Just look at him, you can tell he’s raised with love.”
Sang Zhao stammered:
“Of-of course… raised very well.”
“But… but—”
But he shouldn’t be HERE!!!
Sang Zhao howled internally.
He absolutely should NOT be sitting here looking all fluffy in the office!!
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