Chapter 58 — How Many Times Now, Yu Fan
Yu Fan slowed a few steps behind Chen Jingshen, following in silence.
Chen Jingshen wore a plain white T-shirt, clean and simple. Without the school uniform he looked looser at the edges, shoulders narrow and straight, his back more at ease than at school.
Chen Jingshen walked at an unhurried pace, his face expressionless. To anyone else, he might have seemed no different than usual. With so many people in the shop earlier, no one had noticed anything.
But Yu Fan knew Chen Jingshen was angry.
It was strange, really. At first, he'd only thought Chen Jingshen's poker face was incredibly punchable. But after getting to know him, Yu Fan discovered he could read different emotions in that same expression. Mostly cold ones. Only when they were alone together would something soften in Chen Jingshen's eyes.
Thinking of that look Chen Jingshen had given him earlier, Yu Fan looked down and clicked his tongue, then ran his hand through his hair.
Chen Jingshen was angry and he currently had no solution.
The two boys walked one after the other, maintaining a constant distance between them.
At the corner, Chen hailed a cab. When he got in, he slid inward and left space.
A spark of instinct hit. Yu Fan climbed in as well.
On the road, the driver couldn't help stealing glances at them in the rearview mirror. First, because it was rare to see guys this good-looking, and there were two of them. Second, because few people rode together without saying a single word.
Yu Fan stared out the window and lost in thought the whole ride, only rousing when he heard Chen greet the gate guard and the cab rolled into the compound.
Following him out of the car, Yu Fan stared at the luxurious villa with its sky garden and nearly couldn't hold back that word “F***.”
As soon as Chen walked in, Fanfan popped up from the sofa, tail wagging, barking twice in welcome. Chen ignored the dog at first, switched on the main power, then noticed the front door was still ajar. He went back to push it wider and found no one there, then turned and met the stare of a boy in black sitting on the lawn, long legs stretched out, phone in hand.
Sensing his gaze, Yu Fan lifted his head.
“Come in,” Chen said. “No one’s home.”
Yu Fan instinctively replied, “What about the surveillance cameras?”
“Covered.”
The dog barked at Yu Fan twice, then seemed to recognize him, it swished its tail even harder. Yu Fan ruffled its head without much feeling and went inside.
The living room was full of art pieces. Like Chen’s room, the palette was gray and cool, so the space felt both larger and emptier.
He had seen it over video before, but sitting in Chen’s room for real, Yu Fan still looked around. Everything was spotless. Even the bedding was square and tight.
His gaze paused in the corner.
The monitor was completely veiled, a neat black square in the corner like a little hole in the room.
Yu Fan sat in the chair, confronting the covered camera for a few minutes before frowning and looking away.
What was Chen doing, bringing him in and then leaving again. Was he coming back?
His phone buzzed. The message he had sent outside the door finally got a reply.
【-: You there? I need to ask you something.】
【Zhu Xu: Here, what is it? I was gaming.】
【Zhu Xu: Where did you go? Coming back? We already grabbed machines at Cool Boy.】
【-: Not coming back.】
【-: When your girlfriend is mad, how do you coax her?】
【Zhu Xu: !!!】
【Zhu Xu: So you really are dating, Yu Fan! Who is it? At our school?】
Yu Fan almost denied it. His thumbs stilled. Dating was not shameful. And if he said it plainly, next time he refused a hangout he would not need to make excuses.
Besides, they'd never guess it was Chen Jingshen.
【-: Do not ask. Just tell me how.】
【Zhu Xu: Depends. Are you at fault or is she being unreasonable?】
【-: … Me.】
【Zhu Xu: Then you have to do the work. First be thick-skinned and act cute, apologize, it has to be sincere. Then do things she likes. My girl likes flowers and animals, so I hide flowers in her desk, set my avatar to her favorite cat…】
Yu Fan stared at the first lines and locked up.
Thick-skinned. Act cute. And what the f*** was “apologize?”
In seventeen wild-growing years he had never apologized to anyone.
He read it twice, confirmed he could do none of it, leaned sideways on the chair and typed, Any normal methods…
Before he could send it, there was a click and the door opened.
Yu Fan immediately shoved his phone back in his pocket.
Chen Jingshen returned, carrying a plastic box in his hand.
Jingshen casually set the plastic box and his phone on the desk. The next second, his phone suddenly lit up with a notification sound.
Both glanced over.
【Chef Xie’s Coconut Chicken: Hello! We are now on table 53. Your number is 58. Time yourself so you do not miss it.】
Chen turned the phone face-down, opened the box, and revealed neatly packed supplies.
He chose a cotton swab and saline, placing them in front of Yu Fan.
Yu Fan waited a breath, but Chen did not move again. He stood there, expression flat, as if that was the end of it.
Yu Fan came to his senses, unscrewed the cap, dabbed a bit, and pressed it against his face. His mind was still on that notification he'd just seen. He used too much force, the cotton swab jabbing straight into the wound, making him wince despite his blank expression.
The cotton swab was taken away.
Chen frowned at the smear of red, then Yu Fan sat up straight and lifted his chin without prompting, knees parting so it was easier for Chen to stand close.
Chen’s jawline was slightly tense, his lowered gaze fixed on the wound. He looked cold all over, but his movements were gentle.
The new scrapes sat between the two moles on Yu Fan’s right cheek. Not deep, but on the face they looked harsh.
There was still an old mark at his hairline from before. Now two fresh bandages as well. Thinking about it, Chen Jingshen felt this person spent more time injured than not.
He pressed down the bandage. “Anywhere else?” he asked.
“No, just these.”
Chen’s gaze slid lower. He did not argue. He rummaged again and brought out a dark red medicinal wine.
He poured a little into his palm, braced Yu Fan’s jaw up, and pressed the cool sting at a faint bruise beneath his collarbone.
Yu Fan had not even known there was anything there. The medicine needed pressure to work, so it hurt, a dull ache, then heat climbed into his head.
When Chen finished, he capped the bottle and put it away, considering whether to cover the liar’s face in a few more bandages.
“Chen Jingshen,” Yu Fan asked suddenly. “Do you hate the smell of this stuff?”
“It is fine,” Chen said, picking out a bandage. He turned back to stick it on, and Yu Fan leaned in and brushed his mouth, quick and dry.
Chen’s hand paused. He finally lifted his eyes.
“Zuo Kuan is an idiot. He called when he was already getting pummeled. I could not help it. I was not ditching you on purpose,” Yu Fan said. “I had already made it to the mall.”
In all his years, Yu Fan had made plenty of people angry, but this was his first time trying to make it up to someone. He couldn't be thick-skinned and act cute, apologizing was also difficult, and as for doing things that would make Chen Jingshen happy...
Chen Jingshen seemed pretty hard to please. Yu Fan thought about it and could only come up with this one thing.
Having started, it got easier. Chen did not speak, so Yu Fan leaned in again and bit him lightly. “We can still make it if we go now. My treat. Want to go?”
Chen pressed the bandage to his face, said “Forget it,” shut the box, and left the room.
F***.
Yu Fan raked his hair, grabbed his phone.
【-: Your method is useless.】
【Zhu Xu: Huh? You are done coaxing already? That fast? What did you do?】
【-: …】
【-: Something that should make him happy.】 Maybe.
He hit send. The door opened again. Chen stood there. “Noodles,” he asked. “Do you want some?”
Zhu Xu was mid-match and only skimmed the line, ready to ask who “him” was, when another message came.
【-: … Wait. Maybe it works.】
【Zhu Xu: How is she now? A little nicer to you?】
【-: Mm.】
【Zhu Xu: Then keep it up, put in effort. Go, go.】
Zhu Xu's original intention was “then work harder and do a few more things to make her happy,” but being in the heat of gaming, he hadn't typed out the full sentence.
Yu Fan took that the other way.
There was a housekeeper, so Chen rarely cooked. He could at least boil noodles. The scent of medicine drifted up. Chen glanced over. “Want some chili?” he asked.
Yu Fan set his phone down, leaned over and paid up on effort with a quick kiss. “No.”
“…”
They ate. Chen called to tell the auntie not to come, then booked a pet service to take the dog out.
“Tell them not to come. I will walk him,” Yu Fan said.
“It needs a bath too.”
Yu Fan oh-ed and dropped it. Passing by, he remembered and tilted up to kiss him again.
“…”
Chen did not push him out. Yu Fan did not leave. After handing Fanfan to the dog walker, Chen went back to his room to work. He pulled over a chair without a word.
Yu Fan sat. Chen slid a practice test across.
Chen Jingshen’s desk was big. Two people fit easily without bumping elbows, with space to spare.
The paper was brutal. Yu Fan did a few problems and started to claw his hair. He nudged Chen. Chen put down his pen and pulled the paper over.
“Got it now?” Chen asked.
Yu Fan lay on his forearm, face full of irritation from the questions, frowned up, and pressed a quick kiss. “No. What kind of sh*** paper is this?”
“…”
Chen had been ambushed all day. His lips tasted like Yu Fan’s latest favorite gum.
By the time they finished, night had fully fallen. Yu Fan leaned back and checked his messages. Ignoring people for a day meant his phone had blown up.
Everyone always says girls gossip. A pile of boys could chatter even more. Zhu Xu’s loose tongue meant the gaming crew now knew Yu Fan was dating.
He had chased Chen Jingshen out earlier, but no one guessed in that direction. They all asked which class the girl was from.
Halfway down the thread, Chen’s pen stopped. He leaned back too.
He had barely said anything except to explain problems. It was strange. Yu Fan had felt him soften on the first kiss, but only that once. The rest had little effect.
Yu Fan killed the screen and leaned in again like he was collecting points.
Chen turned his face aside. The kiss landed on air.
“What?” Yu Fan asked, hand braced on the chair. “What are you doing?”
Chen twirled his pen and looked at him. “I should be asking you. What have you been doing all day?”
“…”
“You can't tell what I'm doing?” Yu Fan said, frowning.
“I cannot tell,” Chen said.
“You are mad,” Yu Fan said.
Chen Jingshen looked at him noncommittally.
“Then I'm obviously f***ing…” Yu Fan stalled on the word, unused to it. After grinding his teeth, he got out, “Doing that to you.”
He scowled. “But aren't you being too difficult?”
Chen set the pen down. The desk lamp lit his face, making it look colder. “You are too perfunctory.”
“Is this how you coaxed other people?” he asked.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Yu Fan shot back. “I've never dated anyone as difficult as you.”
Chen blinked, silent, about to turn back to his paper, when he heard a scrape of chair legs. His shirt was caught.
“Stop f***ing writing, Chen Jingshen,” Yu Fan said, voice low. “Open your mouth.”
Chen rested one hand on the desk and let him kiss.
Yu Fan kissed like his personality, head-on and reckless. He still bumped teeth sometimes, or clipped a nose. But his mouth was soft, and every awkward brush made him freeze a beat, roughness and inexperience kneaded together in a way that made you want to tease him.
Yu Fan drew back, breath uneven. “Good enough now?”
“A little more,” Chen said.
Yu Fan leaned in again.
When Yu Fan took the initiative to fumble around, he always carried a bit of momentum like he wanted to bite someone's mouth bloody. But when Chen Jingshen quietly responded that tense energy in him would instantly dissipate.
The air conditioning gradually stopped working. Yu Fan's hand, originally braced on Chen Jingshen's chair cushion, slowly clenched tighter. An inexplicable feeling surged through his brain, and even his half-open knees stiffened.
When Chen let him go, Yu Fan breathed out. He was just about to sit up when Chen’s hand slid to the back of his neck and rubbed.
“How many times now, Yu Fan?” Chen murmured, almost nose to nose. “Every time, you are like this.”
“…”
“It means I am normal,” Yu Fan said, throat jumping. “Let go. I need the bathroom.”
Chen Jingshen released him. Yu Fan stood up stiffly, about to head to the bathroom when his fingers were suddenly pulled.
“Don't go,” Chen Jingshen pinched his fingertips, saying in a low voice.
Yu Fan leaned back against the pillow, feeling like he was about to be surrounded by Chen Jingshen's scent. He sat with his legs bent, watching Chen Jingshen kneel and lean closer, his mind completely blank with heat.
Yu Fan figured his brain probably wasn't working right when he'd said “okay” to Chen Jingshen just now, like he'd been bewitched.
Today he'd picked through the closet with its few clothes, picking out all f***ing black. When Chen Jingshen's slender fingers reached over, the visual effect stimulated Yu Fan until his whole face flushed red. He almost immediately regretted it, his hand weakly bracing as he tried to get up. “Forget it, Chen Jingshen...”
He did not finish. Chen pressed a palm to his stomach and set him back. There was a pillow behind him. Chen used a bit of strength and Yu Fan sank into it.
“Sit still.” Chen Jingshen tilted his head expressionlessly and kissed him. “Be good.”
Boys that age ran hot. Wang Lu’an and Zuo Kuan watched streamers all day and sometimes snickered over sketchy videos together, always trying to rope Yu Fan in. He never cared. Zuo Kuan once mocked him for being cold at his age.
Yu Fan had never been interested.
Not before Chen Jingshen.
Every time Chen Jingshen lowered his eyes, Yu Fan would press against his chin and force him to look up. Chen Jingshen kissed his fingers, then leaned in to kiss him. Near the end, Chen Jingshen kissed him heavily. Yu Fan even felt like he couldn't breathe, leaning back to escape, only to have Chen Jingshen grab his neck and pull him back, thumb pressing hard against his Adam's apple.
In the dizzying suffocation, Yu Fan belatedly realized that Chen Jingshen's anger still hadn't dissipated. He really was f***ing hard to please.
When he was released, Yu Fan had no strength left in his body, just feeling numb. Numb all over. So comfortable he couldn't tell what time it was.
He leaned on Chen Jingshen's shoulder, breathing heavily and dully, hearing Chen Jingshen pull out tissues, wipe his hands, then wet wipes pressed against his body, cool against his skin.
“Yu Fan,” Chen said, voice rough.
Yu Fan did not answer. He turned his head and bit the side of Chen’s neck.
Chen let him, one hand hanging loose, the other buried in his hair.
“If you get hurt again,” he said, low, “I will lock you up.”
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